i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

its ok i really dont mind, just want to make sure your ok, you have helped me out so much, im sorry i`m not as much help as you have been for me

Hi MOAP, sorry I didn't reply yesterday - was called away from the computer (which is no bad thing really or I'd be here all night!).

My LO is due towards the end of March - hopefully not early or I think s/he will arrive in the middle of some building work and have to be delivered by a kitchen fitter (this is not in the birth plan!).

I see you haven't had a great day - I'm sorry about that. Tomorrow is a new day.

Gursky hi, well i will be having LO at the end of march as i`m having a planned c/s with this one as i had to have an emergency one with DD and it was so stressfull for me.

I just want everything to go well this time

My day hasn`t been good but like you say tomorrows a new day

You are helping just by listening MOAP!

i`m always here if you need me ginnedupudding

ok am i stupid?

Im sat here in total darkness other then my pc, xp sent another txt about tomorrow and i have yet to reply as i really dont know what to do.

I know hes with her right now, and hes just rung and i havent answered, it feels like they really want DD tomorrow, otherwise he wouldnt call when he was with her, i know this for a fact.

Please dont think im using DD to hurt him as i`m not.

If anything i`m hurting myself

I really want to run away right now and never come back, i know i cant and i wouldnt take DD away from her daddy

Same!
You take care of yourself and you lo's.
DC back now and really tired and grumpy but don't want to go to bed!!

crossed posts there!
You are not stupid.
Ignore his texts and calls until you are ready to deal with him. You don't have to be at his beck and call 24/7 anymore.
Let him wonder where you are for a change

Well my Dds asleep now, after her tantrums earlier

I feel so bloody nasty but he hasn`t made any contact with me to arrainge tomorrow, other then a text earlier at 6.30ish

So i went ahead and made plans thinking he didn`t want DD.

I hope your dc`s go to bed soon so you can have an early night

You aren't taking her away though MOAP. Really and truly not. He chose to put himself in this situation.

You are NOT using DD to hurt him. He and OW have demonstrated that they do NOT have DD's best interests at heart and that they are not responsible or smart enough to take care of a child overnight. It is not safe for her to be there.

I wouldn't let him have her unless I had some kind of 100% guarantee that the homewrecker dumbass was not around. I would also demand that another responsible adult be around...like your mother in law when he has your daughter on overnight visits. They (other woman and ex partner) have both hurt your daughter and screwed up her family life. They cannot be trusted with your child in my opinion.

They just want her around for a plaything. That is all.

You can send him this if you want and tell him that this is the advice you are getting from lots of people who are a hell of a lot smarter and more responsible than he is.

I would just ignore him for awhile.

They cannot be trusted with any child actually.

I would second that. Their behaviour shows that they aren't responsible enough.

I'm amazed you aren't more angry but I also understand that you're hurting a lot and that affects things too.

They are in bed now but not happy about it!!
You shouldn't feel nasty at all. He's the nasty one not you. All you are doing is what's best for your dd.
He's trying it on.

ill answer to the posts ive had in a minute, sorry!

My step just called and said he had been texting her aswell

I would arrange for you and you DD to be out when he calls round or switch off your phone.

You can just say 'sorry it's not convenient. we have other arrangements'.

If he can't change his plans then that's just tough.

Don't be intimidated by him, he is being unreasonable and not you. Damn straight you are not a doormat! How dare he expect you both to be at his beck and call

Would your family back you up?

Gawd, that all sounds ranty again. You must of course do what is right for you and for your DD. Just don't feel that you must cave in to him and do what he wants all the time.

Good luck for tomorrow.

How dare he try and track you down. Its none of his business anymore where you are.
What an arse!
Stick to your guns when he phones tomorrow, you are doing the right thing!
I'm off to bed now or I'll be on here all night!
Good luck

my step mom and dad was going to take DD out while we talked about what would happen about DD as shes not herself

goodnight ginnedupudding hope you sleep well xx

I agree with Janos. No way would I let him have your daughter overnight with OW due to the way he is behaving. He is a nasty mixed up man who is not thinking right. I would only allow him to see your child under the supervision of a responsible adult.

Get out of the house early and stay out if you can.

IF he wants to be a father than he needs to act like a father...running around with a 17 year old and ignoring his kid for days is abusive. Hell just being with his little girlfriend while your daughter is crying for him is abuse.

You are not being nasty you are protecting your daughter. If he tries to turn around and say that you are "stopping him from seeing DD" show him this thread.

That's just my 2 pence anyway.

It's a good sign that you're feeling angry, as long as you use that anger in the right way.

Maybe right down a 'plan' for tomorrow, so it is all there to refer to, or you can use it as points in a conversation over the phone (for example). I use this technique if I need to have a difficult conversation with my XP.

Just whatever it takes to calm you down enough to get some rest tonight.

I would guess that he is is starting to panic that you are gonna stand up to him and he might not be able to get his own way all the time. That's good.

I don't mean to be nasty and tell you what to do. I am just so mad at that man!! I hope I don't sound too scary. I'm not good when I see people treated so badly...especially if kids are involved.