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Original poster

Is my husband lying to me about photo found on his phone?

238 replies

Lin1276539 · 13/01/2022 21:18

So, I recently came across an image taken from the Internet on my husband's old phone, that he said he only keeps for the alarm, and let's say it was an intimate image of a woman. I then also found the thumbnail of a deleted screenshot of a different naked woman on the old phone. I called him on it and after telling him I was going to check his Google account Internet hisyory, he confessed he looked at these sorts of images daily, and had been doing so for a long time. It took me by surprise as he always said he hated this kind of stuff. My issue now is that a few years ago I found a picture taken from social media of my sisters teenage daughter and her friend standing in their bikinis by a pool, saved on his phone. He told me back then that it must be the 'dodgy' photo editing app he'd installed as he never saved that photo to his phone, and he seemed genuinely perplexed as to how it got there. Am I being an idiot in still believing him or could this genuinely be the truth? I know it sounds bad, but he did have a photo app he was always complaining about before I found that image, and there were some other odd and random images in the app that he said he couldn't understand how on earth they got there? My paranoia is taking over now and I don't feel I can trust him?!? Advice??

OP posts:
BatshitBanshee · 14/01/2022 11:13

He's a liar and very manipulative OP. For me, I don't think there's any coming back from this. I'd also wonder if the images are uploaded to the internet with consent or if they are from one of those photo databases of stolen intimate images of women who have no idea their pictures are out there. And he knows why he downloaded that image of your niece. He just won't admit it to you.

whynotwhatknot · 14/01/2022 11:13

whats his name prince andrew

hes lying and just admitted it-cant get his story straight-if he had one pic of your niece god knows what else hes been looking at

StellaGibson118 · 14/01/2022 11:19

I wouldn't be surprised if he's involved with something like OnlyFans if he likes this sort of thing.

Fidgetty · 14/01/2022 11:22

Vile. The naked photos are one thing but your niece?! That's utterly disgusting.

I wonder if the people who put up these photos of themselves realise they'll be used as wank fodder? I think I was pretty naive about this when I was younger. I didn't personally put up bikini pictures but would never have thought my friends rather innocent holiday snaps would have been used in this way. Makes my skin crawl.

It's not just bikini photos by the way. All sorts of innocent social media photos are used as wank fodder. I remember a thread on here last year and the OPs husband had regular wanks over the photos of women he knew. I deleted all my own photos are that. Makes me so uncomfortable.

StellaGibson118 · 14/01/2022 11:25

I think he just doesn't want to admit that he had that photo as obviously worse than general porn because of their ages and the seediness.

Men do look at pictures of women generally, across social media and dedicated sites. For me, it's social media I'd feel extremely uncomfortable with because it's people he knows, or that you do. It changes fantasy into reality and I don't like that.

errnerrcallnernnernnern · 14/01/2022 11:31

@ravenmum

The image wasn't from WhatsApp it was from Facebook If he screenshotted the Facebook image and posted it to someone in WhatsApp, it would be saved with his other photos on his phone. If he opened that picture in his picture editor, it would be saved to his phone. If he just looked at the picture on Facebook it would not be saved to his phone.
Why keep bringing WhatsApp into it? He’s downloaded it directly from Facebook on to his phone.
ravenmum · 14/01/2022 11:34

Why keep bringing WhatsApp into it? He’s downloaded it directly from Facebook on to his phone
Maybe. Maybe not. You don't know any better than me. I offered two possible ways it might get saved, because I don't know any better than anyone else how it really happened.

bongobingo43 · 14/01/2022 11:36

Why keep bringing WhatsApp into it? He’s downloaded it directly from Facebook on to his phone.

Exactly!! And he's now admitted he downloaded & saved it himself and then lied to the OP about it at the time by feeding her some complete BS story at the time about glitch on an editing app!

The same guy also admitted he downloads and saves other images of friends on fb to wank over..... but not the one of the 17 year old niece.

That's completely innocent

And he would never lie (apart from about the fact he did download it in the first place).

And he's absolutely not only confessing to the bare minimum every time he gets caught out a bit more.....definitely not!!

RevolvingPivot · 14/01/2022 11:41

@bruffin

sykadelic

I regularly upload my photos to Dropbox. There was a time when I had random photos in my history. Not porn, but lile, family photos of people I don't know, or scenic photos. This was years ago. I deleted all my apps and wiped the phone. Hasn't happened since

How it that possible though? How do you think those photos got there?

If you use whatsap or messenger the photos that are shared on there are automatically saved in your photo gallery unless you turn off that facility. I found a load of random photos saved to our prime photo storage . Neither DH or i could place them , it turned out they were from a whatsap group my DH was a part of

I know about Facebook and Messenger. She said random people she doesn't know.
RevolvingPivot · 14/01/2022 11:44

People keep replying to my comments (but not tagging me) about what's app it's frustrating.

It's nothing to do with what's spp.

@ravenmum @bruffin

ravenmum · 14/01/2022 11:48

@RevolvingPivot

People keep replying to my comments (but not tagging me) about what's app it's frustrating.

It's nothing to do with what's spp.

@ravenmum @bruffin

@RevolvingPivot We know that NOW, yes. We didn't know when we were explaining how a photo can be saved on a phone. OP hadn't revealed her husband's confession. We were saying he might have been sending people porn, not defending the guy!
Rubyyyy · 14/01/2022 11:49

Just the fact he’s been wanking over your friends on fb would be enough for me, let alone your niece.

ravenmum · 14/01/2022 11:49

Please don't tag me in, I will read it.

Fidgetty · 14/01/2022 11:50

With regards to your niece; I’m not in men’s head but I expect that heterosexual men will generally be attracted to adult-looking women. Did you niece and her friend look underage?

It doesn't matter if she "looks underage". He knows her! He knows it is absolutely inappropriate to perv on her and her friends. If he sees the photo he may stop momentarily as I believe most men would (they're mostly pervs lets be honest!) but he should scroll on by, not save the bloody image to get a closer look/use to wank over. It's his niece FFS it's inexcusable.

TabithaTittlemouse · 14/01/2022 11:52

He’s making you look like a fool.

Does your sister know?
Given the time you have been together he’s known niece since she was a baby. You can’t get much more wrong.

DeerMyDear · 14/01/2022 11:53

How would your niece and her parents feel if they knew he was wanking over her? …it’s creepy behaviour

PeeAche · 14/01/2022 11:56

Are you sure these are downloaded from the internet? Have you checked his phone(s) for Kik?

My ex husband used Kik. He would delete it in between uses but I found out by going into App Store, Account, My Purchases, Purchases Not on This Phone.

🤷🏻‍♀️ They think they're so smart.

PeeAche · 14/01/2022 11:57

I mean specifically for the "intimate" images of women you don't know.

Your niece... that's a different thing. 🤢

Why2why · 14/01/2022 11:58

@Fidgetty

With regards to your niece; I’m not in men’s head but I expect that heterosexual men will generally be attracted to adult-looking women. Did you niece and her friend look underage?

It doesn't matter if she "looks underage". He knows her! He knows it is absolutely inappropriate to perv on her and her friends. If he sees the photo he may stop momentarily as I believe most men would (they're mostly pervs lets be honest!) but he should scroll on by, not save the bloody image to get a closer look/use to wank over. It's his niece FFS it's inexcusable.

Did you read the rest of my response re his niece?
Fidgetty · 14/01/2022 12:00

Just saw your update, I'm so sorry OP. He has known your nice since she was a little child then. That's makes it all the more revolting. Horrible, stupid man.

Flowers
ChargingBuck · 14/01/2022 12:10

@TheVanguardSix Flowers

& best wishes to your & your daughter. You have been such a strong & proper mother xx

Kinko · 14/01/2022 12:13

Why does everyone keep saying YOUR niece?? It's HIS niece too! They are married. I pressume he's watched her grow up?

I'd be physically sick.

I mean there's enough images of women out there to pick from, enough porn sites, why choose one of a family member?

I wouldn't have an issue about a bit of general porn, it is what it is. I'd just be upset he wasn't more considerate of it not being found! There are soooo many women out there who put these pictures out of themselves - meaning they consent and post - you only have to go on Instagram and look at some of the influencers posts in bikini's, I can get that....wouldnt be great but OK- that's life.

But if it was my niece - I'd be broken. I couldn't forgive it. I'd hate him. I could never move past it, I just don't see how you can. I'd rather my husband have an affair than find that.

I'm so sorry OP, I just don't see how you get past this.

This is my first LTB too.

You must feel like your world has collapsed. I'm so sorry.

Autumnleaves4 · 14/01/2022 12:31

@Lin1276539

I'm sorry if I wasn't being clear, I was trying to reply when someone asked how old my niece and her friend were on that pic, they were about 17 or 18 at the time. I think I've forgiven him for the porn type images, but it has all brought back how I felt after finding the social media pic of my niece on his phone, he is so sincere about it and I want to believe him, but I just don't understand how its possible for an app to save a photo of it's own accord to a phone?
It’s not possible for a phone to save a photo of its own accord I’m afraid. It’s creepy, do you have children of your own?
Arnia · 14/01/2022 12:34

It’s sick that he is getting off on photos of people you know and photos that aren’t intended for that.

I'm pretty sure that's the attraction. Makes it more realistic for them. This has to be the reason considering it's so incredibly easy to find naked images and videos of women on porn sites. Why on earth would you need to use quite modest pictures of women you know? I posted on here more than a year ago about my husband doing this. Systematically wanking over friend's facebook images, every week for months.

I tried to get past it but my self-esteem and faith in him was shattered. I was previously a confident and easy-going person. I then became someone who bristled whenever an attractive woman walked by wondering if he was perving over them. It's a horrible way to live OP. It's made me so cynical about men and I treat most of them with suspicion. I hate it. It took me a full year to stop minimising his behaviour, process my feelings and work up the courage to end the marriage. I hope you have some real life support Flowers

Autumnleaves4 · 14/01/2022 12:36

Their lies can be very convincing, him looking perplexed about the odd photos on his phone reminded me of my ex. I was getting harassed by anonymous emails and txts, it turned out eventually they were from someone my DH was seeing from work (they worked in HR so accessed my personal details) at the time my husband researched online how to find the sender, obviously for my benefit, but put on a convincing performance about looking into tracing this anonymous number etc whilst all the time knowing who it was. They can be very convincing in their lies.

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