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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my husband lying to me about photo found on his phone?

238 replies

Lin1276539 · 13/01/2022 21:18

So, I recently came across an image taken from the Internet on my husband's old phone, that he said he only keeps for the alarm, and let's say it was an intimate image of a woman. I then also found the thumbnail of a deleted screenshot of a different naked woman on the old phone. I called him on it and after telling him I was going to check his Google account Internet hisyory, he confessed he looked at these sorts of images daily, and had been doing so for a long time. It took me by surprise as he always said he hated this kind of stuff. My issue now is that a few years ago I found a picture taken from social media of my sisters teenage daughter and her friend standing in their bikinis by a pool, saved on his phone. He told me back then that it must be the 'dodgy' photo editing app he'd installed as he never saved that photo to his phone, and he seemed genuinely perplexed as to how it got there. Am I being an idiot in still believing him or could this genuinely be the truth? I know it sounds bad, but he did have a photo app he was always complaining about before I found that image, and there were some other odd and random images in the app that he said he couldn't understand how on earth they got there? My paranoia is taking over now and I don't feel I can trust him?!? Advice??

OP posts:
Derbee · 14/01/2022 08:52

Sorry, he sounds disgusting. The saved naked images of women is disrespectful and bad enough, but saving a photo of your niece which he’s clearly been ogling over is really grim.

RevolvingPivot · 14/01/2022 08:59

@RobinsReliant

The only thingI have had happen myself is a photo sent to me on WhatsApp which automatically saved itself to my photos. Don’t know if anyone else has experienced this?

However if the photo wasn’t sent to him via WhatsApp and he only saw it on social media then I would say he saved it himself.

Of course others have experienced this. This is what happens unless you turn off the function.

If op had said the photo was sent on what's app this could explain it. It wasn't it was posted on Facebook.

I've never known my phone save random photos from websites I've been on unless I've taken a screen shot or saved a photo?

anon12345678901 · 14/01/2022 09:00

See now my iPhone takes random screenshots of things without me knowing, but that's because I changed the settings on it and if it gets tapped 3 times or thinks it has, it takes a screenshot. It's done it a fair bit while driving (not using the phone, it is resting on the cup holder bit). However with your husbands behaviour, I would say it's not an accident. Tbh I would leave, there's no way I would trust him again.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 14/01/2022 09:01

The only thingI have had happen myself is a photo sent to me on WhatsApp which automatically saved itself to my photos. Don’t know if anyone else has experienced this?

I think the default setting on WhatsApp is to save any photos/videos that people post in your phone gallery (on Android anyway, don't know about iphones) but I think you can switch it off in settings. I did because the videos were using up too much memory.

But I'm getting sick of reading about men lying about what they do to get their sexual kicks. If you watch porn just be honest with your partner and let them decide if they want to be with someone who doesn't really care about the provenance of images provided they can use them for a wank. Why would the OP's DP see any difference between a stranger and a teenager he knows, it's all just wank fodder to him.

OP, he's lied about his views on porn, you have to decide if that's a deal breaker for you. And he's lied on one issue so why would he tell the truth on another very similar one.

RevolvingPivot · 14/01/2022 09:02

@anon12345678901

See now my iPhone takes random screenshots of things without me knowing, but that's because I changed the settings on it and if it gets tapped 3 times or thinks it has, it takes a screenshot. It's done it a fair bit while driving (not using the phone, it is resting on the cup holder bit). However with your husbands behaviour, I would say it's not an accident. Tbh I would leave, there's no way I would trust him again.
So he just happened to press his phone accidentally 3 times while looking at this photo? Although it isn't impossible.
SeasonFinale · 14/01/2022 09:06

@MissMaple82

Hes cleay lying. Bit also I think your sister is in the wrong for uploading bikini pictures onto the Internet, there's all sorts of pervs out there and that's basically handing it to them on a plate
Presumably private settings and hadn't realised that her BIL was in the "perv" category
Pleaseuniverseplease · 14/01/2022 09:07

Urgh. He's been eyeing up your niece.
There's no getting out of it as much as you'd like to believe his blatent lies.
I'd not be able to look at him in the same way ever again.

Laffielle · 14/01/2022 09:10

Is my husband lying to me about photo found on his phone?

Yes he is

Silvershroud · 14/01/2022 09:26

[quote errnerrcallnernnernnern]@Silvershroud

Google saves random photos to my photo file- I have no idea where they come from- newspaper articles, objects, some from Whatsapp I recognise, some I don't. I presume they are from websites I have visited but maybe not, why would I have looked at printing fonts, chinaware, red telephone boxes, people I don't know? I'm just saying it does happen, but that may not be relevant to what you are concerned about.

What a load of crap. What pictures do you have on your Whatsapp that you don’t recognise but are saving on to your Google phone/app/drive?

Any pictures are ones automatically saved from Whatsapp or where you’ve saved them from the internet.[/quote]
I belong to a few WhatsApp groups that share photos as well as messages. I don't look at WhatsApp as a rule, only ones I allow notifications on. And Google definately saves random images from some where; I know what I want to save or not and it is not photos of places or people I haven't looked at nor am interested in. But, as I say, this may not be relevant to OPs concern.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/01/2022 09:29

Absolutely gross. Why don't you tell your sister - see what she thinks of him saving a picture of his daughter for his wank bank.

dalrympy · 14/01/2022 09:30

Facebook does NOT randomly save photos though and although I also have the "tap to screenshot" function, it is quite new and it would be very VERY coincidental that it happened to save a bikini pic of a young girl.

Yuk. Just yuk.

Marineboy67 · 14/01/2022 09:32

Blimey he sounds like Boris Gaslighter Johnson. The one with your niece and a friend in a bikini is pervy.
My ex girlfriend used to store pictures from an ex, one of which on a naturist beach! I dunno Maybe some people get off on that shit!

NashvilleQueen · 14/01/2022 09:34

Ok the photo of the teenage girls is horrendous. Presumably he's known her since she was born/a child. Retaining a bikini shot photo of a teenage family member is so far off what's acceptable I'm not sure I could get past it in any circumstance

GrandRapids · 14/01/2022 09:37

Nah FB doesn't randomly save photos. He's done that manually. Plus he has a history of lying.

irene9 · 14/01/2022 09:37

He'd have had to open that photo using the photo editing app.
It just seems to be a co-incidence that it was that picture rather than Auntie Mary's 70th birthday party.

Let's just say the app is more likely to be opening photos that were already there, rather than if Facebook is open does the app then open that photo file on it's own.
If he'd done something suspect then grumbling about this rogue photo app every so often would cover his tracks.
The fact that he looks at porn every day would turn my stomach anyway.

Gonnagetgoing · 14/01/2022 09:43

Personally for me - photos on my phone (e.g. Whatsapp or saved to camera) do not get there from e.g. my Facebook account unless I save them to my phone, send to Whatsapp etc.

He is definitely lying about your niece and her friend. As to what you'll do, LTB.

For me the naked photos - if they were e.g. of randoms (like stock porn photos) then I think I'd be ok. However, if they were of women and could've come from dating sites or women doing cam work - I'd have to dump him for that.

ravenmum · 14/01/2022 09:43

The image wasn't from WhatsApp it was from Facebook
If he screenshotted the Facebook image and posted it to someone in WhatsApp, it would be saved with his other photos on his phone.
If he opened that picture in his picture editor, it would be saved to his phone.
If he just looked at the picture on Facebook it would not be saved to his phone.

Babdoc · 14/01/2022 09:43

Just popped in to say of course the poor dear man is innocent. Must rush, my flying pigs are over the roof again and my unicorn needs feeding…

Lorw · 14/01/2022 09:45

That is grim OP. He’s lying about the picture of your niece, and I tell you, if my DH had a photo of my niece in a bikini saved on his phone for his own personal pleasure I would be leaving the bastard.

Freddy12 · 14/01/2022 09:51

Perving at his niece is disgusting , hopefully he is not around her as she will likely pick up on this and feel creeped out or at least not comfortable. she may well not mention but will likely pick up
Saving on the phone is 100% a deliberate thing apps do not randomly decide to save a picture- it is part of his wank bank - grim
He is trying to cover up what he has and has been doing with his phone
Where you go with this only you can decide

anon12345678901 · 14/01/2022 09:55

I did say I think he's lying but my phone does randomly take screenshots. I don't believe this was random as my screenshots have occurred when putting my phone down sometimes but he would have had to be on the image for a while for it to happen and staying on it when putting the phone down. I don't believe he's innocent whatsoever and I certainly wouldn't be staying with him or having him anywhere near my niece. What do you feel OP? Obviously we're all, I think all from what I've seen, are saying to leave him, but what do you feel about the situation?

Fishlipandtoeface · 14/01/2022 10:02

So he’s perving over your niece who is a child. How long has he been perving over her for them if she’s only 17. Not much to question here is there.

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 14/01/2022 10:02

Re the porn - it depends how you feel about it OP - for me porn is a deal-breaker (I see it as degrading to women, and also on a personal level I view it as a form of cheating), but for others it isn't.
Re your niece and her friend - we can't know for sure, but it seems highly unlikely that a photo app would randomly save a photo (or screenshot of a photo) of young women in bikinis. I would feel that he's lying about that, and that he saved it on purpose - and that would be really, really grim....your/his own niece....
How is the rest of your relationship OP? What is he like generally?

sykadelic · 14/01/2022 10:06

I regularly upload my photos to Dropbox. There was a time when I had random photos in my history. Not porn, but lile, family photos of people I don't know, or scenic photos. This was years ago. I deleted all my apps and wiped the phone. Hasn't happened since

RevolvingPivot · 14/01/2022 10:09

@sykadelic

I regularly upload my photos to Dropbox. There was a time when I had random photos in my history. Not porn, but lile, family photos of people I don't know, or scenic photos. This was years ago. I deleted all my apps and wiped the phone. Hasn't happened since
How it that possible though? How do you think those photos got there?
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