Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is my husband lying to me about photo found on his phone?

238 replies

Lin1276539 · 13/01/2022 21:18

So, I recently came across an image taken from the Internet on my husband's old phone, that he said he only keeps for the alarm, and let's say it was an intimate image of a woman. I then also found the thumbnail of a deleted screenshot of a different naked woman on the old phone. I called him on it and after telling him I was going to check his Google account Internet hisyory, he confessed he looked at these sorts of images daily, and had been doing so for a long time. It took me by surprise as he always said he hated this kind of stuff. My issue now is that a few years ago I found a picture taken from social media of my sisters teenage daughter and her friend standing in their bikinis by a pool, saved on his phone. He told me back then that it must be the 'dodgy' photo editing app he'd installed as he never saved that photo to his phone, and he seemed genuinely perplexed as to how it got there. Am I being an idiot in still believing him or could this genuinely be the truth? I know it sounds bad, but he did have a photo app he was always complaining about before I found that image, and there were some other odd and random images in the app that he said he couldn't understand how on earth they got there? My paranoia is taking over now and I don't feel I can trust him?!? Advice??

OP posts:
WindyRose · 14/01/2022 01:31

OP you also need to contact your niece's friend and her parents to tell them what you've found. I don't expect they will fob it off.

What other teenage girls' photos has he saved? you might need to do a 'recuva' on his phone to see what photos he might have deleted, if any.

Sorry you are in the position but you must follow through this time and not sweep it under the carpet and accept his feeble excuses. Contact your local police station as they can help with the phone photos.
He's taken you for a fool...please show him you aren't!!

Joystir59 · 14/01/2022 02:18

He's a fairly typical gross man. He's wanking over naked images of girls.

immersivereader · 14/01/2022 02:29

Yeah he's lying.

And no man doesn't like porn. 'Oh my Martin never looks at the stuff' - yeah, right Hmm

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/01/2022 02:36

OP you also need to contact your niece's friend and her parents to tell them what you've found. I don't expect they will fob it off.

To what end? Worry them, creep them out and then what? The poor girls.

Slyfox69 · 14/01/2022 03:03

He's a grub

TheTeenageYears · 14/01/2022 03:55

Photo's sent in WhatsApp are automatically saved to camera roll unless you set it for that not to be the case (that was the default a few years ago so may have changed since). That's just one I'm aware of so it it's possible other apps work in the same way. Can you recall what the other random photo's were?

1forAll74 · 14/01/2022 04:14

Why are you snooping on his phone, and is he not allowed to look at any women on phones,.. There are probably a great number of men in the world, who look at dodgy photo's on phones.

Suzi888 · 14/01/2022 04:28

@Lin1276539

I'm sorry if I wasn't being clear, I was trying to reply when someone asked how old my niece and her friend were on that pic, they were about 17 or 18 at the time. I think I've forgiven him for the porn type images, but it has all brought back how I felt after finding the social media pic of my niece on his phone, he is so sincere about it and I want to believe him, but I just don't understand how its possible for an app to save a photo of it's own accord to a phone?
Because he looked at the photo and took a screenshot of it. Which is why I never post anything on fb anymore, because you never know who is 👁👁at it or what they are using it for.
Totalwasteofpaper · 14/01/2022 04:33

Absolutely grim. Especially the niece.

I couldn't respect or sleep with that. At all.
Seruous question: How do you have sex?
Do you not just feel 🤢🤢🤮?

notyouagainn · 14/01/2022 05:19

I would want to see his internet history although bear in mind he may have cleared it. I wouldn't be keen on my other half having pictures of naked women on his phone. You describe them as porn rather than pictures he may have taken? I would want to talk about why he needed to save stuff like that to his phone. The picture of the niece if he's lying is abhorrent I guess it depends if you believe him?

girlmom21 · 14/01/2022 05:23

Is it really that easy to find pictures of women in those positions on Google? I haven't and won't be checking!

He's definitely lying about your niece. He's disgusting.

peachicetea · 14/01/2022 05:43

My partner said he went in to this stuff said it was disgusting and guess what . He lied ! Years and years of porn and photos . It took me a while to stop being mad but I don't and never will forgive him for it . But it would be a different kettle of fish if I found a photo of my niece and her friend in bikinis on his phone ! That's disgusting . I'm assuming he has been with you since she was a little girl growing up 🤮. I'm sorry I I really am . I know what this does to you . I would have to leave him over this one

lisaandalan · 14/01/2022 05:49

He would be sincere he doesn't want to get found out, the adult pictures is one thing, though I would not be happy, the teenage girls definitely not it would be a dealbreaker for me it's weird. He obviously took the picture.
I do some more investigating on his computer, phone, history on both
The fact he said he looks at lots of sorts of images daily has made me feel really creeped out, please do some more digging and I hope for your sake it doesn't get any worse. X

MakeMineAdoubleChocolate · 14/01/2022 05:55

I wanna beat him with. A frying pan.

lisaandalan · 14/01/2022 05:55

Also did you tell your sister about her daughters photo and have you made him delete it.
The more I think of this it makes me sick to my stomach and do some more investigation I really hope you don't find anything else, but I feel really uneasy and think there is more too it.
He's does it daily and looks at all sorts of images it's really making me feel sick the way he says all sorts. X

Chocaholic9 · 14/01/2022 05:56

That's really grim that he took that picture of your niece. I wouldn't be able to touch him again.

Chocaholic9 · 14/01/2022 05:56

(in your shoes.)

MakeMineAdoubleChocolate · 14/01/2022 05:57

If my husband looked at porn and my nieces in bikinis I would kill him and divorce. My dh is strongly against porn and I really hate it too. I see it as cheating. You're watching people's private parts up close for your own enjoyment. I mean it's just so vile.

nuancedcloud · 14/01/2022 06:14

This is an LTB…

Oddbobbyboo · 14/01/2022 06:21

Your DH sounds like my DS DH…. My DD couldn’t do anything around him….. his eyes were fixated on both of them at a family bbq in the summer; where the pool and hot tub were out… it was our garden which isn’t overlooked but the pervert had a great view to drool over…. My DD1 noticed almost immediately. I’d be devastated if he saved photos of my DD.

Conspiracyornotr · 14/01/2022 06:28

That's sick. I wouldn't be trusting him!!!

outingtale · 14/01/2022 06:38

I have an Oppo phone, it's shite and it takes random screen shots, mainly when on a call. It also manages to call a 2nd number when already in a call.

DeerMyDear · 14/01/2022 06:39

The porn photos I could live with. The photos of friends niece - creep.

Yes hes lying. I mean, what are the chances the photos that magically appeared on his phone were two gorgeous young girls in bikini, it wasn’t a picture of a sandwich or an obese old man was it.

Why2why · 14/01/2022 06:42

@MakeMineAdoubleChocolate

If my husband looked at porn and my nieces in bikinis I would kill him and divorce. My dh is strongly against porn and I really hate it too. I see it as cheating. You're watching people's private parts up close for your own enjoyment. I mean it's just so vile.
I’d be suspicious of any man who claims to be strongly against porn. I can understand there might be some who do not care for it but if they protest too much, I’d wonder why. It’s not one of those things that many men would be bothered to take up arms against.

OP, no one can know with certainty what goes on in another person’s head and we cannot police other people’s thoughts. It’s all about openness and trust.

Your husband needs to explain to you why he feels he must lie about looking at porn.

With regards to your niece; I’m not in men’s head but I expect that heterosexual men will generally be attracted to adult-looking women. Did you niece and her friend look underage?

I get that your concern is that it’s your niece and I personally would have expected him to have some boundaries there.

The lying and not having boundaries with regards to your niece are the problems.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/01/2022 06:47

He’s lying to you and not putting much effort into it because he’s one of those men who thinks women are a bit thick and easy to con.