Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my husband lying to me about photo found on his phone?

238 replies

Lin1276539 · 13/01/2022 21:18

So, I recently came across an image taken from the Internet on my husband's old phone, that he said he only keeps for the alarm, and let's say it was an intimate image of a woman. I then also found the thumbnail of a deleted screenshot of a different naked woman on the old phone. I called him on it and after telling him I was going to check his Google account Internet hisyory, he confessed he looked at these sorts of images daily, and had been doing so for a long time. It took me by surprise as he always said he hated this kind of stuff. My issue now is that a few years ago I found a picture taken from social media of my sisters teenage daughter and her friend standing in their bikinis by a pool, saved on his phone. He told me back then that it must be the 'dodgy' photo editing app he'd installed as he never saved that photo to his phone, and he seemed genuinely perplexed as to how it got there. Am I being an idiot in still believing him or could this genuinely be the truth? I know it sounds bad, but he did have a photo app he was always complaining about before I found that image, and there were some other odd and random images in the app that he said he couldn't understand how on earth they got there? My paranoia is taking over now and I don't feel I can trust him?!? Advice??

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 14/01/2022 06:50

@RevolvingPivot

I think you need to thing of these as two separate things.

Random naked photos of women he doesn't know found on the net is 1 thing.

Photos of your teenage niece in a bikini is another.

Not saying any of these are ok by the way.

Yes this.

Lots of men like naked pictures of women, it doesn’t mean they’d collect bikini shots of their teen relatives.

I’d just talk to him. Say you were shocked by the porn images but you can live with it, but it brought this photo back into your mind - so what’s the story? If he’s generally a good guy and he still seems sincere then I’d decide to believe him. As you say, he’d been complaining c some app, and anything you click on on social media ends up on your photo bank (or it does on my phone)

It’s a bit odd to say you forgive him for looking at porn photos. It is legal, and it is up to him, and a awful lot of men do it.

NumberTheory · 14/01/2022 06:52

I think the photo app excuse is unlikely but if he was complaining about it before you found the pic then it doesn’t seem out of the question. I’ve had difficulty with apps and have also saved photos and screenshots I haven’t intended to. I guess I’d be wondering why he had the photo of them in the first place. On the app or his phone, whether he deliberately saved it or not - was he taking photos of your niece and his friend? If so why? If not, how did it get there?

icelollycraving · 14/01/2022 06:55

Well, if this is true, you have lots of people saying they couldn’t get past it. I hope it’s not an opportunity for someone to get people to tell similar wanking stories or experiences of teenagers in bikinis.
I doubt the op will be back tbh.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 14/01/2022 07:17

Men (mainly) have been claiming "a rogue app did it" or "I was hacked" since the invention of the Internet. Its the 21st century version of "a big boy did it and ran away".

I know all too well the desperate longing to believe him. But it will poison your soul to force this lie down your throat.

It's your decision whether to stay with this man, but at least be honest with yourself about the reasons.

thenewduchessoflapland · 14/01/2022 07:26

He's been most likely wanking over a photo of your niece and her friend in bikinis.How utterly revolting is that?;he'll have seen your niece grow up as well.

That would be an absolute deal breaker for me;I wouldn't let the disgusting twat near her again.

ufucoffee · 14/01/2022 07:35

When women say on MN that their husbands don't like porn I always think they are deluded. OP yours has confessed to to the porn. He knows the other pic is much worse. That's why he's lying.

BFPDec21 · 14/01/2022 07:45

Wow, my first LTB.

RobinsReliant · 14/01/2022 07:54

The only thingI have had happen myself is a photo sent to me on WhatsApp which automatically saved itself to my photos. Don’t know if anyone else has experienced this?

However if the photo wasn’t sent to him via WhatsApp and he only saw it on social media then I would say he saved it himself.

DrSbaitso · 14/01/2022 07:59

I'm not so concerned about the straight up porn images of strangers, but the one of his teenage niece??

Bitzandbobsbitzandbobs · 14/01/2022 07:59

"My husband is strongly against porn" just means he looks at it when your not around, using an incognito browser.

This thread has a bit too much of a ' Not My Nigel' vibe going on.

Anyway, husband has been perving over nieces and friends holiday photos on Facebook, and thought he could get away with saving his favourite to his phone...there is no other explanation.

Silvershroud · 14/01/2022 08:04

@TheTeenageYears

Photo's sent in WhatsApp are automatically saved to camera roll unless you set it for that not to be the case (that was the default a few years ago so may have changed since). That's just one I'm aware of so it it's possible other apps work in the same way. Can you recall what the other random photo's were?
Google saves random photos to my photo file- I have no idea where they come from- newspaper articles, objects, some from Whatsapp I recognise, some I don't. I presume they are from websites I have visited but maybe not, why would I have looked at printing fonts, chinaware, red telephone boxes, people I don't know? I'm just saying it does happen, but that may not be relevant to what you are concerned about.
errnerrcallnernnernnern · 14/01/2022 08:09

There is no way that picture of your 17yo niece and her friend was accidentally saved on his phone, OP.

In your heart and mind, you know this.

He’s a pervert.

longwayoff · 14/01/2022 08:11

Of course he's lying. Why bother asking?

Namenic · 14/01/2022 08:14

If he said he was against porn while having porn on his phone, what makes you think he wasn’t and won’t lie about the niece?

DrSbaitso · 14/01/2022 08:15

Google saves random photos to my photo file- I have no idea where they come from- newspaper articles, objects, some from Whatsapp I recognise, some I don't. I presume they are from websites I have visited but maybe not, why would I have looked at printing fonts, chinaware, red telephone boxes, people I don't know? I'm just saying it does happen, but that may not be relevant to what you are concerned about.

Weirdly, it hasn't saved porn for you or images of your niece in a bikini.

I don't mind my husband looking at certain types of porn but I do have lines. Teenage relatives are one, and insulting my intelligence about where it came from is another.

stripeyflowers · 14/01/2022 08:15

I hope he does the lottery.

Of all the millions of images on the internet it happens to be the one of the niece in a bikini that lands on his phone. Hmm

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/01/2022 08:25

The niece in her bakini would be it for me now, he obviously lied about how it got on his phone

My ex told me he never wanked, yeah OK mate 🤣

Newgirls · 14/01/2022 08:32

@TheTeenageYears

Photo's sent in WhatsApp are automatically saved to camera roll unless you set it for that not to be the case (that was the default a few years ago so may have changed since). That's just one I'm aware of so it it's possible other apps work in the same way. Can you recall what the other random photo's were?
Yes WhatsApp does this.

But why had he kept it?

errnerrcallnernnernnern · 14/01/2022 08:35

@Silvershroud

Google saves random photos to my photo file- I have no idea where they come from- newspaper articles, objects, some from Whatsapp I recognise, some I don't. I presume they are from websites I have visited but maybe not, why would I have looked at printing fonts, chinaware, red telephone boxes, people I don't know? I'm just saying it does happen, but that may not be relevant to what you are concerned about.

What a load of crap. What pictures do you have on your Whatsapp that you don’t recognise but are saving on to your Google phone/app/drive?

Any pictures are ones automatically saved from Whatsapp or where you’ve saved them from the internet.

Lalliella · 14/01/2022 08:38

Apps don’t randomly take photos of teenage girls off social media and store them. Pervs do. Sorry OP.

errnerrcallnernnernnern · 14/01/2022 08:38

Yes WhatsApp does this.

But why had he kept it?

It’s also irrelevant as I can’t see where OP has said her H is in a Whatsapp group with OP’s sister/BIL/niece where he would have received the pictures.

RedWingBoots · 14/01/2022 08:38

@RobinsReliant

The only thingI have had happen myself is a photo sent to me on WhatsApp which automatically saved itself to my photos. Don’t know if anyone else has experienced this?

However if the photo wasn’t sent to him via WhatsApp and he only saw it on social media then I would say he saved it himself.

My WhatsApp and some other app photos are each saved in their own folder in the photos app of my phone.

They aren't automatically saved for good as they aren't uploaded to my cloud back up.

This stuff isn't hard to work out if you play around with apps.

Lin1276539 · 14/01/2022 08:43

@nuancedcloud

This is an LTB…
Sorry for my inexperience here but what's an LTB?
OP posts:
stripeyflowers · 14/01/2022 08:44

Leave the Bastard!

Lin1276539 · 14/01/2022 08:44

@errnerrcallnernnernnern

Yes WhatsApp does this.

But why had he kept it?

It’s also irrelevant as I can’t see where OP has said her H is in a Whatsapp group with OP’s sister/BIL/niece where he would have received the pictures.

The image wasn't from WhatsApp it was from Facebook.
OP posts: