Utterly, utterly, heartbroken

[colouringindoors]

I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. It's nothing new.

But I honestly don't know how I can bear this

This morning my relationship ended. We'd only been "together" for six months, friends for 3 years, I've "liked" him for over 3 years. It has been wonderful. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He made me laugh, he's kind, we had lots in common and omg the chemistry was incredible. I really thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.

This came after separating from my husband of 20+ years 4 years ago and a huge amount of trauma due to ex's severe mental illness, ds severely ill, dd diagnosed ASD. The last 10 years have been horrendous apart from meeting new man, getting to know him and becoming involved with him.

I feel worse than I did when I separated from my husband. I've been unable to stop crying all day. I literally don't know what to do with myself.

How do I bear this?!

Monzeitia oh that's really comforting to hear, thank you for telling me and I'm so glad you found your new man x

I'm at a friend's now and she just said when I sat down i was just as she was after her dead dad died. It does feel like a MAssive bereavement.

But I think longer run it would help to find joy from a source other than a...

yeah.

I was utterly bereft when my relationship ended , much much worse than when my marriage ended.
I think it takes a huge leap of faith to enter into another relationship after a marriage and you invest a lot .
It was like a bereavement . I barely functioned for some time and I’m a coper usually .
But I did get thru it . Time . And now with the benefit of hindsight I can see the flaws more clearly than how it was right and I feel very at peace with it ending .
It really is just time , accept you will feel sad and take each day slowly .

Some luvley advice and support here OP.

Short relationships can have a surprisingly intense impact when they end. Especially when it’s out of the blue. Especially if you had great hopes invested in it, which I think sometimes happens when you’ve left a bad one.

But at the same time when you look back maybe you will see some flaws or signs you ignored. So it’s quite probably all for the best.

Some wallowing to start I think can be really helpful, taking it easy, resting, sleeping, soon life will start anew.

@Gargellen

It's the feeling he wanted to get Christmas out of the way first too when they do it at this time of year.

Sorry you are going through this OP. It sucks.

Yeah but, if he did it before Christmas it would be "can't believe he broke up with you just before Christmas, how selfish!"

There really is no good time to end a relationship.

I am grateful this didn't happen before Christmas tbh

Sorry for what you're going through, OP

Been there many many many times, it does get easier but that doesn't help right now. I know only too well the horrible feeling, it's a kind of grief.

We would message every night before going to sleep. I'm on my own this evening and it's not good.

I was at a friend's house 11-4. It was better there. I have memories of us in evry room. oh god.

Mine was a long time ago after ten years together. At the time you think it's impossible to ever get over it or ever stop crying. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other until time heals.

yes that's exactly it.

im not sure i can do this

You can and you will. Little by little.

You'll be exhausted today lovely. Try and rest. Distract yourself as much as possible with telly or whatever works.

I'm so sorry to hear. The pain of a relationship breakdown is agony.

I can't offer any good advice, except that lame 'This too, shall pass'; and it will.

The sun will shine again for you xx

You can do this 💐 And you will get through it. You won't feel like this forever, however improbable that sounds at this moment. One minute, one hour and one day at a time you will re gain your strength and start to look forward. Take it from the many posters who have already given advice, and from me who has been there recently, time really does heal. Try to keep to a routine and push on through. You will get there and will be stronger for it.

You can do it and you will.

Also, if he's undecided he might want to come back. You need to decide if that's something you'd consider or not after this pain

So sorry

Definitely not stupid OP. It took me 2.5 years to get over a six month relationship. I was so sure he was the one. Even after two years, I still thought about him every day. Unfortunately I couldn’t go no contact because at the time I lived with his best friend.

Just as I was comfortable with my life without him, he fought to win me back and we’re married now.

You never know what might happen, in time. I can easily remember the pain, and it’s awful. You’ll feel better in a few weeks, but give yourself as much time as you need. Don’t feel like you’re “doing it wrong” if you’re not over him in a month.

💐

oh wow you are all so kind ❤

i cantbear to be in my house i see him everywhere. i don't know what to do with myself I'm still wailing and sobbing constantly oh god

You welcome, and you will too even at the present it’s the last thing in your mind

Oh OP Heartbreak is so underestimated for the all consuming pain.

Know that ever day is progress and you’re grieving. Are you keeping a diary to you can get it all out as things come up?

There are some really great podcasts that might help too. You’re not alone and you absolutely can do this.