Wife not looking after husband after operation

[Wauden]

People where I work were chatting on zoom and a colleague was talking about an operation that went well, quite a routine one.
He mentioned that he had recouperated in some sort of post operative care facility, ie like a private care home, until he would get more mobile. This is with private health care. This sounded a bit odd because he is married so surely a partner would normally look after their spouse after they are given the ok to return home from an operation? Assuming that the wife was able bodied which apparently she is. It turns out that his wife told him, that she did not want to do that and said that he had to go and stay in the care facility.

After some chatting with another colleague it turns out that she didn't visit him at the care home at all. Anyway he is out now.

What happened to in sickness and in health? This can't be normal, can it? I don't want to ask too much about it as it's not my concern but the general feeling is that it's really off.

So he's staying in an expansive care facility that he can afford? Jesus, if is had a huge operation I'd stay in the facility instead of stressing out my partner. If you can afford to recover under a professional eye, so it. My DP wouldn't burden me like that either. Some people aren't natural nurses you know.

I'm usually one of the first to talk about role reversal and different responses, however on this occasion, it's the same o matter what the genders are-it's no ones fucking business bar the couple and family, definitely not a work colleague who barely knows vague details.

And many facilities are reducing visiting due to Covid. Why risk someone recuperating for an operation, and therefore more vulnerable to illness more than he should be.

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@Valeriekat

I would look after my husband! Not sure why you are getting such a hard time OP.

I can hazard a guess

I can see where you're coming from, tbh. I broke my shoulder mid September and ended up having surgery. A shoulder fracture is notoriously difficult to recover from and it was a bad fracture-broken in 3 places and a bit of bonecwas the wrong way round. Following the accident and then surgery, I was very dependant on my husband for personal care. I couldn't move my right (dominant) arm, so couldn't even wipe my arse! My husband had to help me. I hated it but really appreciated it as well. I think I'd be really hurt if he didn't support me.

@Valeriekat

I would look after my husband! Not sure why you are getting such a hard time OP.

Op seems overly invested in this man's care plan.

I'm sure if it was Mary with a new hip replacement, she wouldn't be on this forum asking about the lack of care from her partner.

Op want's to be the knight in shining armour, how very noble.

We can't see through it

None of your business :

I'd personally recuperate with staff who are qualified rather than feel like I'm putting on someone who also has a full time job

It seems that going to a care facility is a sensible option in some circumstances.

I might need one in the future...

Mind your own business. Are you in love with him or something? You seem over invested.

@Wauden

Apparently it was very expensive and not fro insurance, like going private, as was the operation.

Goodness me, what a lot of detail you have garnered about your colleague & his wife. How do you find time to get any work done?

@Wauden are you really the OW and he's been telling you fibs about his wife to make you think she is a nasty old hag and so you have to save him?

Do you know how mobile he was? I wish I’d had this post-op! My poor dh had to help with dressing changes, I couldn’t do anything for weeks. I would have preferred a rehab centre.

I would much prefer to stay away from home and recuperate!

You are being very judgmental. You know nothing about their life.

YABVU