Why do men always suggest going for walks as a first date?

[Marble2021]

This has happened to me a lot. Guys always want to go for a walk as the first date. I completely understand this during lockdown when nowhere is open, but even when we weren't in lockdown and all bars and restaurants were open, they still wanted to go on a walk as a first date. When I suggest meeting at a bar instead, they don't seem to want to. By the way, they are definitely suggesting a date, not just a friendly meet up. Anyone got any ideas as to why they always suggest going to a walk around the streets as a first date?

@Hrpuffnstuff1

I'm sorry Tea-talk, I don't agree, people, men, and women have preferences, whether that's innate or social is the question, I think it's a mix of both.

I internally chuckle when women claim men are 'Clueless- or use the word intimidating'.
Bit of a snore-fest.

So confused by your post ad I did t use the word intimidating nor did I state people don’t have preferences … odd

@tealtalk I understand what you're saying about what men prefer, but I don't wear lipstick or do my hair in my day to day life, so I'd rather not catfish someone on a first date by wearing heels and make up, only to stop doing that a few dates in. Previous boyfriends have found me attractive so I'm going to date as 'me'. If that narrows my dating pool then that's as it is.

As a pp said I'm not an ornament, I don't have to polish myself.

[quote Jennifer2r]@tealtalk I understand what you're saying about what men prefer, but I don't wear lipstick or do my hair in my day to day life, so I'd rather not catfish someone on a first date by wearing heels and make up, only to stop doing that a few dates in. Previous boyfriends have found me attractive so I'm going to date as 'me'. If that narrows my dating pool then that's as it is.

As a pp said I'm not an ornament, I don't have to polish myself.[/quote]
Believe me I don’t do all the extras that many women do but I certainly don’t consider those who do as catfish
I think that’s a really dismissive way of speaking about women which plays right into what I’m actually saying is so wrong with the whole dating situation . That so many men are seeing womens looks as their primary value !
By calling women who dress up catfish it implies their looks are the selling point and they are presenting a false value of it
Instead why arnt we calling out mens superficiality . Not all men as we have seen some say they arnt into that ? By way too many
Way too many wanting all the effort from women with minimal from them

I’ll add to that No woman needs to be dressing up even if it’s a full in dinner date
I’m not saying that’s what women need to do , I’m referring to the expectations of many men … and yes for those of us that don’t play into that expectation it quickly weeds them out , but there’s still way too many of them

@tealtalk
Intimidating comes under the same umbrella for me, most people need to be attracted within seconds of meeting for it to progress on a date.
If the people have made an effort and are still rejected, one has to learn not to take this personally. I wouldn't look too deeply into the reasons why.

In another setting, for instance, work, or meeting someone formally, attraction can build, because other characteristics can be nurtured, such as values, or personality.

Dating via apps is very cutthroat.

@Tealtalk

I’ll add to that No woman needs to be dressing up even if it’s a full in dinner date I’m not saying that’s what women need to do , I’m referring to the expectations of many men … and yes for those of us that don’t play into that expectation it quickly weeds them out , but there’s still way too many of them

I'd just like to add, that Mrs. HR comes from a culture, whereby the women dress up as a matter of course. I obvs live with her, wandering around in her pj's all day though. However, her public appearance is important to her.

[quote Hrpuffnstuff1]@tealtalk
Intimidating comes under the same umbrella for me, most people need to be attracted within seconds of meeting for it to progress on a date.
If the people have made an effort and are still rejected, one has to learn not to take this personally. I wouldn't look too deeply into the reasons why.

In another setting, for instance, work, or meeting someone formally, attraction can build, because other characteristics can be nurtured, such as values, or personality.

Dating via apps is very cutthroat.[/quote]
Sorry I really don’t understand how any of that relates to my post about many men not recognising makeup . Yes dating can be intimidating …

@Hrpuffnstuff1
‘I'd just like to add, that Mrs. HR comes from a culture, whereby the women dress up as a matter of course.
I obvs live with her, wandering around in her pj's all day though.
However, her public appearance is important to her.’

Yes but how does that relate to what I wrote in any way . Sorry but I’m genuinely confused . Were your posts meant for me ?

I referenced your points about appearance and make-up with another poster that mentioned men are intimidated by educational achievements.

Basically, I think your and their assessments of male dating behavior are incorrect on all levels.

Of course once we are in relationships with people or married or whatever we are not going to expect them to dress up at home every day . We are talking about expectations in dating not marriage

@Hrpuffnstuff1

I referenced your points about appearance and make-up with another poster that mentioned men are intimidated by educational achievements.

Basically, I think your and their assessments of male dating behavior are incorrect on all levels.

Well at least that explains it . You have mixed my comments with another posters in you head and then commented back to me without saying so I was beginning to think I was going mad lol Well you can disagree that many men claim to like the natural look but their actions show otherwise but many women including me disagree and have direct experience of that . Not all but many We simply disagree

Until I met my new boyfriend because of covid most of my dates before him were walks outside with coffee. Yes, it’s free but also gives people a chance to size you up and cut the walk short if it’s not working out.

I don’t know why men are suggesting this now unless they’re keen walkers, you have lots of parks/countryside where you are or nowhere that interesting to go.

I think you've misunderstood my point about catfishing. I never wear make up, so if I did, it would be presenting a false image for the purpose of a date. I'm not saying anything about women who routinely wear make up.

I wear make up every day. Not lots but enough to make me feel more confident.

Anyway the main reason I don't want to go on a walk on a date??
I'm sooo unfit right now.
For me, a walk is exercise and I get quite breathless walking on an incline or up steps.
Not attractive.

I'm trying to lose 3 stone & working on my fitness but while that's happening I'm going to be meeting men in coffee shops & bars where I won't be getting out of breath!!

@mrgoodatfixingrhings with all due respect, there couldn't possibly be a similar version to FDS for men due to the differences between what men and women generally want and the shit women have to deal with.

For example, if you've looked at PUA bullshit, this is basically the opposite. It's about helping women to weed out trash like men who would try to neg their way into bed. And the general philosophy is not to settle; it's better to be alone than with a man who will make your life worse.

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@mrgoodatfixingrhings with all due respect, there couldn't possibly be a similar version to FDS for men due to the differences between what men and women generally want and the shit women have to deal with.

For example, if you've looked at PUA bullshit, this is basically the opposite. It's about helping women to weed out trash like men who would try to neg their way into bed. And the general philosophy is not to settle; it's better to be alone than with a man who will make your life worse.[/quote]
This was more along the lines of basically giving the confidence to start a conversation and actually get your personality across for the more reserved of us 

PUA ??? 
And yes it is a shame women do have to deal with a lot of shit, one of my neighbours was telling me last year a few tinder horror stories including a guy who would put Sherlock holmes to shame the level of snooping and stalking he did to find her .... but again I've had some horrific experiences, this certainly isn't a one sided thing.

I think it can be easier to talk to someone asking side by side rather than sitting face to face at a restaurant for example. It feels more easy going and natural so can be better for nervous first dates. Also with covid etc it makes sense. Plus it's free. I wouldn't look at it as a bad first date personally. Go for a walk and if you get on then next time meet at the pub etc.

What's wrong with going a walk? I'd much prefer that than a bar or restaurant. It's much more relaxed talking to someone side by side. Depending on where you're walking, there are distractions and things to talk about. Even gaps in coversation are more comfortable as you're doing something. If it goes well, you can suggest a coffee or meal after. I'd be much more wary of people whose dates have to centre around alcohol.

@mrgoodatfixingrhings PUA = pick up artist. It's nasty stuff, basically giving men tips about putting women down "jokingly" to make them insecure (negging) and more open to getting pumped and dumped.

(This isn't my terminology - comes from this culture).

Sorry if this makes you feel bad about dating. Personally, I feel terrible about the whole thing myself as I am worried about being mistreated again, especially knowing about these bizarre communities of men who literally come up with psyops strategies to get women into bed!

As this thread reflects, most women probably don't take this view and I am sure that if you're a decent sort of guy you will be able to meet someone.

Also, sorry to the OP for this massive hijacking of her thread

I'd find that a pleasant first date, much more refreshing than the constant offers of going back to their house for a shag

I’d rather do this than go to some bar tbh. I did this with my now husband. Went for some some lunch after a walk in the busy city park not far from my house. I’m not into the bar scene generally and neither was he so suited us. I wouldn’t think it’s a red flag though

I really wouldn't enjoy what OP has posted- that particular date.

Walk round local town, residential streets.
Suggestions of coffee, ice cream, rejected.

I mean it's fucking cold.
Depending on where live. Town and residential streets here I know well and town bog standard.
Bog? I'm getting on a bit!
Quiet residential streets off beaten track, never met him before, safety?

Not for me personally. Horses for courses though, everyone likes different things and that's how it should be!

Because there is plenty of inspiration for subject matter. Better than sitting in little silences. And less distracting than a noisy cafe or pub with the knowledge folk are looking at you with that "first date" look..