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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do men always suggest going for walks as a first date?

298 replies

Marble2021 · 24/12/2021 17:30

This has happened to me a lot. Guys always want to go for a walk as the first date. I completely understand this during lockdown when nowhere is open, but even when we weren't in lockdown and all bars and restaurants were open, they still wanted to go on a walk as a first date. When I suggest meeting at a bar instead, they don't seem to want to. By the way, they are definitely suggesting a date, not just a friendly meet up. Anyone got any ideas as to why they always suggest going to a walk around the streets as a first date?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 24/12/2021 18:09

I prefer to go for a walk, I’m not a drinker so going to a pub or bar isn’t really my first choice, happy to go for a walk or for a coffee, I tend to keep first dates short, a walk can be as long as you want it to be.

Lovemusic33 · 24/12/2021 18:11

@PermanentTemporary

I.also like it because there are some people who look great when they walk and some that don't. I thoroughly enjoy following a man's arse up a hill.
I agree with this 🤣

It also gives me a chance to work out if the like dogs (do they stroke dogs or do they try and avoid them?), I’m not sure I could date someone that doesn’t like animals.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 24/12/2021 18:11

You don't have to do what they say. Be more proactive. Say I dont fancy that let's meet at such and such bar.
They probably don't want to waste money buying drinks and food if they don't fancy you.

PigeonPants · 24/12/2021 18:20

"A walk around the streets"? Perhaps it makes more sense right now - COVID fears + looking at Christmas decorations, window shopping, etc. And lots of built-in conversation as the sights change much more quickly than in the countryside (or sitting at a table in a cafe or pub or restaurant). You could see someone's unscripted reaction to, say, a controversial book in a bookshop window or a piece of street art/graffitti or crazy prices/beautiful garments in the window of a boutique or whether carcassas hanging in the butcher shop look barbaric or delicious. It's also open-ended: if it's going well it's easy to suggest stopping in a cafe or pub. If not, easy to make an excuse and bail out.

pastypirate · 24/12/2021 18:23

Instinct says they don't want to spend money. Yy to pp saying it's not safe.

MaryAndHerNet · 24/12/2021 18:28

I think you could pick fault with any date activity if you wanted too.

"Hey, want to go to dinner?"
Great, sit across a small table and watch some fucker chewing for 2 hours.

"Hey, wanna go the movies?"
Great, sit in a dark room and not talk to some shitbird for 2 hours.

"Hey, wanna go for a drink?"
Great, go to a loud bar, full of twats, watching some arseweasel getting drink or trying to get me drunk enough to touch his dangly chicken neck.

So on and so on.

Rainbowqueeen · 24/12/2021 18:31

Because they are dating several women and want to spend as little as possible while they work out which ones have low standards and who they don’t need to put in any effort with.

A guy who is really interested in you will suggest a date that he thinks will impress you and that fits what he knows about you. If he is looking for nothing but a shag, walk date it is.

And yes to the safety factor. It’s harder to just leave a walk date if you feel uncomfortable and you can’t tell someone exactly where you are.

Yummypumpkin · 24/12/2021 18:53

Reading the posts here i think age may come into this a bit!!!

duvetdayforeveryone · 24/12/2021 18:55

@FallonCarringtonWannabe

It’s free
This.
Garysmum · 24/12/2021 19:12

I dated earlier this year and all dates were walks. It's free. I love being outdoors. Yes I wore a full face of make, up and a skirt and welly boots. Chose public places to go. Perhaps I'm weird

CrimbleCrumble1 · 24/12/2021 19:17

Do you say you like walking OP?

oopsyoudiditagain · 24/12/2021 19:17

Rainbowqueeen has it.

FrippEnos · 24/12/2021 19:18

@FallonCarringtonWannabe

It’s free
Often the biggest complaint from those that don't want to spend their own money.
CaptainMyCaptain · 24/12/2021 19:19

I would prefer it. I like walking and hate sitting in bars. Maybe you are going for the wrong blokes for you.

PermanentTemporary · 24/12/2021 19:20

I find it genuinely depressing that some women still seem to rate a man by how much he will spend to impress her. Makes me feel sick tbh.

Kite22 · 24/12/2021 19:20

and want to see if you are also happy to be dragged around the park like a dog and still shag them

I wonder how some people's minds work .......

How do you get from meeting for a nice walk, to that ? Confused

jackofspades · 24/12/2021 19:22

I’m a woman (30s) and would have been horrified pre Covid, but I like walking dates now. Might also be something to do with Bridgerton Grin

I see it as a pre-date. It’s much less awkward than dinner, no shouting over loud music. You can see what someone’s like and then have a proper date if you fancy the second time.

Most men pick up the bill for the first date so I don’t blame them for suggesting something free.

Grimchmas · 24/12/2021 19:22

It's a zero effort way of checking you out.

I don't do walk dates on a first date. Maybe after a good few other dates, as I have a dog and it would suit me, but absolutely not on a first date. Imagine being too cheap or sleazy to spend a couple of quid or coffee or a meal?!

Marble2021 · 24/12/2021 19:27

@CrimbleCrumble1

Do you say you like walking OP?
No, I never say I like walking to them.
OP posts:
Grimchmas · 24/12/2021 19:31

I find it genuinely depressing that some women still seem to rate a man by how much he will spend to impress her. Makes me feel sick tbh.

I used to think like that and money still definitely doesn't impress me. Then I started listening to a podcast (female dating strategy, I highly recommend it!) and realised I agreed with them - I only want to be on a date with somebody who is interested enough in dating me that he's willing to spend at least some money. I don't want taking to Michelin star restaurants, but not do I want to waste my time putting make up on and choosing clothes carefully on somebody who literally doesn't value the proslect of my company enough to spend a single penny of his while on a date with me. Not going on totally free, zero effort dates for the first few dates is a me easy way to filter out "low value males" as the podcast calls them.

oopsyoudiditagain · 24/12/2021 19:35

@PermanentTemporary

I find it genuinely depressing that some women still seem to rate a man by how much he will spend to impress her. Makes me feel sick tbh.
Do you also feel sick about men who care about women’s looks?
oopsyoudiditagain · 24/12/2021 19:40

@Kite22

and want to see if you are also happy to be dragged around the park like a dog and still shag them

I wonder how some people's minds work .......

How do you get from meeting for a nice walk, to that ? Confused

They just see through men’s bullshit…..🤷🏻‍♀️
inmyslippers · 24/12/2021 19:43

Its not even the bare minimum in terms
of effort. I have hiking in my profile but wouldn't entertain it. A coffee date at the very least

FabulousMrFifty · 24/12/2021 20:18

Just to put an alternate spin on this, I did a few walking ‘date zeros’, this year, if goes well you can stop for coffee/ lunch whatever, if you doesn’t click , you end the walk and say goodbye.

CouldThisReallyBe · 24/12/2021 20:19

I'm a serial first dater and this is very common. It's not just men who suggest it - I do too. I think it's more about common interest and preference. I'd rather walk and chat than sit in a stuffy pub. A first meeting is also essentially an 'interview' for a first date. If it goes well than a restaurant meal/longer evening would be my next step.