Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

oven we love a lovely story on here, on or offline! Not everyone on Mumsnet is a mum, etc... I hope you have a fantastic time on your date.

vangogh I want to know what you do to your cheese sauce that's controversial but a game changer? What a shame you don't fancy Mr Stone 😐

Thank you. I’ve no idea what to wear or anything - he seems nice he’s been divorced a long time like me, we have similar interests, grown up kids and he likes dogs (I have one - last man I dated didn’t get pets at all - this man had one but it died at a good age and he didn’t get another).

And I want to know about the cheese sauce too! Please 😊

I've had an old iron come out of the Christmas woodwork, as is not uncommon I believe. Can't remember what I called him - we were meant to meet up and he cancelled because he had too much going on in his life (new job, buying a house, was under the weather when we started messaging). Still waiting to complete on said house, checking in, how was your Christmas, that sort of thing. I'll chat and see what happens. Not very excited, but a) local, b) has job and c) will have house is enough to warrant a chat for now.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

vangogh I want to know what you do to your cheese sauce that's controversial but a game changer? What a shame you don't fancy Mr Stone 😐

Ha, it wasn't at all controversial!

I don't measure, I do it by eye, knew I needed quite a lot so did about double what I usually do.

So I put a chunk of butter, maybe two ounces, and melted it in a pan, turned the heat off, stirred in flour until it was a sort of dough, then slowly added milk keeping stirring until each bit I added was absorbed and smooth, then put the heat back on to cook and thicken it, adding more milk as it thickened (just over a pint in all I think) until it was the consistency I wanted, then threw in two handfulls of grated cheese.

He was saying that I'd added the milk too fast (he wasn't actually watching when I was doing it) and it wouldn't thicken. I explained that it thickens as you cook it, but he was adamant I'd "done it wrong" and I was all like "ooh, look how it's thickening up as I heat and stir it......". If it's too thin, btw, you can just sprinkle more flour in as you heat it, but it's a bit harder to keep it free from lumps that way - not that lumps really matter in cauliflower cheese.

Oh, and I'm not sure it was a game changer, he's obviously only ever had sub standard white sauce!

[quote StartingAgain6369]@PurpleStripyScarf
I can't believe I'm typing this but I do struggle to regarding who said what etc etc

So I screenshot and I also create a word doc for my notes then each iron has a dedicated folder 🙈

I don't do spreadsheets mainly because I get so fed up with them at work[/quote]
Put it on Google docs and we can all share 😀

@VanGoghsDog

I've spent the whole day with MrStone - he came over about eleven, I made sausage rolls (oh yes) which we ate with tea/coffee, then had more tea and chocolates, then a three mile muddy walk in the rain to a country pub where we had coffee and hot chocolate, then a three mile muddier and rainier walk back, drenched.

Then he put up a shelf for me that's been hanging around for literally years (mental block here about it). I made my now-famous (because of the amazing new oven pan) roast potatoes and parsnips and a huge cauliflower cheese (he tried to tell me I was making white sauce "wrong", he got a stern look for that, when it was done he admitted it was some of the best looking white sauce he'd seen, and best cauliflower cheese - it was good I have to admit, and if you've never had cauliflower cheese with roasted parsnips, well, do!). And we had pork pie, gammon, tomatoes, pickled red cabbage etc.

Then we watched two films and he left just before midnight.

Still don't fancy him at all.

Brilliant write up of a spark free day

Oh and no one gets to comment on my cooking anymore. Stepdad got a 'ok I'm putting the timer on now for one minute and that's all the time you've got to criticise my food preparation' and that soon shut him up. He's such a joy thief

Is MrStone at least good for anything ie company? Or are you going to have to give him his marching orders?

vangogh that's how I make my cheese sauce. You're the normal one, he clearly needs educating. I now want cauliflower cheese.

@Danz0r77 I think it's near impossible to pick out what you might have said which would have turned your iron off. My ex is an alcoholic and was abusive so the slightest hint of grumpiness after a few drinks and I'm out of there. Just see how things go from now on but if it's definitely gone cold, then dust yourself off and try again.

I've never been one to multi chat given I can barely find just one let alone several but if you can do it, its a great way to not get overinvested.

Mr Music is fast asleep here. We have done nothing but watch movies, order in food and have fun. Still no sex as we are waiting . It's been quite indulgent though I'm missing my children (I arrived Boxing Day and am heading home tomorrow). I had a slight wobble where I realised how bloody needy I am, wanting constant affection all the time. Mr Music had already welcomed me with roses and chocolates yet for a bit whilst watching the movie where he didn't have his arm round me, I immediately flounced off mentally. Luckily he was his chilled patient self and I was happy again. I really am needy and need to resolve that one.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

I've had an old iron come out of the Christmas woodwork, as is not uncommon I believe. Can't remember what I called him - we were meant to meet up and he cancelled because he had too much going on in his life (new job, buying a house, was under the weather when we started messaging). Still waiting to complete on said house, checking in, how was your Christmas, that sort of thing. I'll chat and see what happens. Not very excited, but a) local, b) has job and c) will have house is enough to warrant a chat for now.

I think this sounds like a high quality reappearance as in he's willing to make conversation and didn't push for a meet in his early 'I'm back' messaging.

Obviously you should meet him as he ticks all those boxes 😃

@Ovenaffray

Thank you. I’ve no idea what to wear or anything - he seems nice he’s been divorced a long time like me, we have similar interests, grown up kids and he likes dogs (I have one - last man I dated didn’t get pets at all - this man had one but it died at a good age and he didn’t get another).

Welcome @Ovenaffray!

As for the what to wear question all depends on where you're meeting, weather etc. He's obviously seen you off duty at home a lot so
that gives you a lot of scope to wear something you feel comfortable in / something that makes you feel happy 😊

[quote Eesha]@Danz0r77 I think it's near impossible to pick out what you might have said which would have turned your iron off. My ex is an alcoholic and was abusive so the slightest hint of grumpiness after a few drinks and I'm out of there. Just see how things go from now on but if it's definitely gone cold, then dust yourself off and try again.

I've never been one to multi chat given I can barely find just one let alone several but if you can do it, its a great way to not get overinvested.

Mr Music is fast asleep here. We have done nothing but watch movies, order in food and have fun. Still no sex as we are waiting . It's been quite indulgent though I'm missing my children (I arrived Boxing Day and am heading home tomorrow). I had a slight wobble where I realised how bloody needy I am, wanting constant affection all the time. Mr Music had already welcomed me with roses and chocolates yet for a bit whilst watching the movie where he didn't have his arm round me, I immediately flounced off mentally. Luckily he was his chilled patient self and I was happy again. I really am needy and need to resolve that one.[/quote]
🤩 bloody hell you have amazing self control

Although klaxon 🚨 I haven't slept with Mr Dublin yet (I know I know what's wrong with me 🤷🏻‍♀️) which is why he has become a bit needy, and felt he needed to tell me some things which made him feel vulnerable

Definitely work on the neediness as you might find that it stops you from being as in the moment or loving as you'd like? I've found that my default if feeling needy is to switch off and be a bit cold, which obviously perpetuates the whole 'nobody loves me' vortex you can go through

Soooo nice to hear that you're still going well though. Long may it continue ❤️

"High quality reappearance" 😆 love that! I'll engage in random chat and see what happens. I may have mentioned that I'm off work with no kids until Friday and planning on doing some beach walks so there's an open door if he wants to walk through it. If he doesn't I'm really not bothered.

@Ovenaffray
Great job, 50’s are great, enough experience to know what you like and and enough experience not to care what others think

@Eesha
No sex, wow, have you checked his is not made like action man downstairs?

Cauliflower Cheese 🤮 takes me right back to insipid school meals in the 70’s, maybe I need a try a proper one

@PurpleStripyScarf @BelladiMamma
Multi chats, blimey, I can barely remember to put my pants on when I leave the house, let alone what I said and to whom !

@WeWantTheFinestWines

"High quality reappearance" 😆 love that! I'll engage in random chat and see what happens. I may have mentioned that I'm off work with no kids until Friday and planning on doing some beach walks so there's an open door if he wants to walk through it. If he doesn't I'm really not bothered.

Beats some of the ones I got on Christmas Day, along the lines of 'hello beautiful how's your Christmas' said with a Joey from Friends type 'how you doin' smirk.

Ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️ if you haven't bothered to stay in touch with me before now then au revoir

Tbf I was telling lots of irons I couldn't meet til the new year because the original plan was to travel to see my Dad but that's been kaiboshed by omnicron and DS getting Covid ... but those ones just disappeared and didn't say ok cool 😎 let's stay in touch / get to know each other in the meantime. They just popped up again on Christmas Day when clearly I'd be with family etc ... I found it a bit offensive tbh ...

@FabulousMrFifty Erm we have pretty much done everything but sex but are waiting for the right moment/place which may end up being a weekend away somewhere. He's been around the block and knows what he's doing! I enjoy the practice of edging so it suits me

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@Ovenaffray
Great job, 50’s are great, enough experience to know what you like and and enough experience not to care what others think

@Eesha
No sex, wow, have you checked his is not made like action man downstairs?

Cauliflower Cheese 🤮 takes me right back to insipid school meals in the 70’s, maybe I need a try a proper one

@PurpleStripyScarf @BelladiMamma
Multi chats, blimey, I can barely remember to put my pants on when I leave the house, let alone what I said and to whom ![/quote]
You're multi chatting right here 😁

This is why notes, screenshots, Google docs etc all become so important 🤣

We are meeting for lunch in a local beach front cafe and I mentioned bringing the dog and if he wanted to join me for a walk with her. So it’ll be sensible shoes at least 😂. He saw me on Thursday doing the walk of shame after a wedding with no make up on and in the comfiest clothes ever 😂

[quote Eesha]@FabulousMrFifty Erm we have pretty much done everything but sex but are waiting for the right moment/place which may end up being a weekend away somewhere. He's been around the block and knows what he's doing! I enjoy the practice of edging so it suits me[/quote]
Still I'm in absolute admiration. When I fancy someone I am basically in physical pain 😂 and need to get it over with so I can start behaving like a normal human being around them

@Ovenaffray

We are meeting for lunch in a local beach front cafe and I mentioned bringing the dog and if he wanted to join me for a walk with her. So it’ll be sensible shoes at least 😂. He saw me on Thursday doing the walk of shame after a wedding with no make up on and in the comfiest clothes ever 😂

Brilliant 😁 re walk of shame 😁

Beach walk with a dog is my idea of heaven. Have a lovely time ❤️

I’m really looking forward to it you know. I’m scared to tell anyone though in real life in case it’s a disaster 😂😂

@Ovenaffray

I’m really looking forward to it you know. I’m scared to tell anyone though in real life in case it’s a disaster 😂😂

I'm the same! All my dating chat happens here 😁😎🎄🤷🏻‍♀️😂❤️🤦🏻‍♀️

😂😂😂 plus. Nosy teens/early 20s and I’m not ready for the interrogation