Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Eesha
The only edging in familiar with involves a lawn and a half moon shaped tool, pretty sure it’s not that !

@BelladiMamma
I would say this more like a WhatsApp group chat, not 10 or more chats, that would be more then my feeble old brain could cope with

@Ovenaffray
You will be fine

@Ovenaffray

😂😂😂 plus. Nosy teens/early 20s and I’m not ready for the interrogation

Oh yeah I've got some of those at home too. They veer from nosiness to over protectiveness and everything in between!

Just checking in to wish you all a belated merry christmas.

I'm still with MrMud and it's still going very well. He's told his parents about me which was a big deal for him (he dated someone for quite a while before me and didn't tell anyone), so I'm certain that this is a long term thing for both of us. We spent a few lovely days together in the week before Christmas, but we won't get to see much of each other for the next month, so it will be the first real "test" of our relationship. It's been a great 6 months together and we are looking forward to next year with a few things planned already.

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone on this thread, if it wasn't for all your advice I could still be with the very incompatible MrTall or the ever-so flakey MrPosh

Wishing you all a happy New Year, let's hope 2022 is full of dates, romance and love!

@belladimamma - MrStone is a nice guy, he's pretty relaxed and easy to have around, I can tell him my long, convoluted (hilarious!) stories (autistic symptom) and he's happy to listen.

He'll make tea and coffee etc, not expect me to run around after him.

And I'm thrilled he did the shelf (I get a bit nervous of men offering to do things for me as they always seem to think I'll shag them in return).

He ate the chocolates I said I didn't like and left the ones I said were not my favourites.

He's pretty laid back and takes it well when I tell him off.

So he's fine as a friend. He's suggested dinner tomorrow, don't know if he's cooking.

@FabulousMrFifty - that's the second time you've posted a vomit emoji at something I've cooked, safe to say I won't be inviting you around!

I'm supposed to be going to IKEA but still in my jammies on the sofa.

Well I suppose I'd better give him a name. He just asked if I fancied a walk at a local beauty spot as he's off there now. I said ok, as long as it's not a date as I'd make an effort for a date, not look like I was not planning on interacting with other human beings today. Waiting for his reply. I love how unbothered I am. If it happens it will be sans makeup in a windswept place I love anyway, if not I can go back to plan A of pottering, film watching, tea drinking and I'll have weeded him out - I'm winning either way!

Right, we're meeting at 12! Going for his favourite walk in one of my favourite places. I will change out of my oversized hoodie and jammy bottoms I put on after my shower and dig out my walking boots but not making any more effort. I do love that aspect of being in my 50s. I'm no supermodel - if we're going to end up together you'll see me looking shit anyway, I can scrub up well when required, if I can make you laugh that should be enough. If we don't hit it off I'll be relieved I didn't bother.

I'll call him Mr Favourite Place.

Just started raining. Last time we were meant to meet it rained and we cancelled. Hopefully just a shower.

[quote Eesha]@Danz0r77 I think it's near impossible to pick out what you might have said which would have turned your iron off. My ex is an alcoholic and was abusive so the slightest hint of grumpiness after a few drinks and I'm out of there. Just see how things go from now on but if it's definitely gone cold, then dust yourself off and try again.

I've never been one to multi chat given I can barely find just one let alone several but if you can do it, its a great way to not get overinvested.

Mr Music is fast asleep here. We have done nothing but watch movies, order in food and have fun. Still no sex as we are waiting . It's been quite indulgent though I'm missing my children (I arrived Boxing Day and am heading home tomorrow). I had a slight wobble where I realised how bloody needy I am, wanting constant affection all the time. Mr Music had already welcomed me with roses and chocolates yet for a bit whilst watching the movie where he didn't have his arm round me, I immediately flounced off mentally. Luckily he was his chilled patient self and I was happy again. I really am needy and need to resolve that one.[/quote]
@Eesha
Yes I think you're absolutely right. It wasn't anything I said, but the way I said it. A little grumpy and I guess it set off warning alarms for her. And that's really not the kind of person I am but I get that it's probably too late to convince her otherwise. We're still discussing it, so.. all is not lost just yet.. but I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the goodbye message.

@Ovenaffray

I’m a lurker (and a regular but n/c for this!). I am in awe of all you who can do it and I’ve loved reading your escapades 😂

I did online dating and gave up on it coz I met too many flakes who weren’t interesting or who only wanted sex and I’m too old for that - I’m in my early 50s.

I live in an ex council house which I bought and that puts some blokes off 🙄 and I’m disabled which also puts some off.

I have to tell someone this because I’m excited and I’ve no one to tell. So I’m telling you lot lol.

The maintenance manager for the area has been around a few times because the houses that were still council were getting new kitchens. He and I had a bit of banter always said hello etc.

Anyway we had a long chat the Thursday before Christmas standing in the street and laughing and just bants. Got to know he was divorced and a wee bit more about him.

And I asked him if he fancied a coffee some day. Took all my courage.

We swapped numbers and have been messaging and chatting over Christmas and we have a date for lunch on Thursday.

Sorry if this is only for online dating - if it is tell me and I’ll go back to lurking!

Eek How exciting for . Well done for being courageous and asking him out . Good luck for Thursday. Let us know how it went

@VanGoghsDog
I would counter your point and say that’s it’s imperative you invite me around, I can only remember watery cauliflower cheese, lumpy bread sauce and as for bread & butter pudding, just a stogy mess, so I need to see what they are supposed to be like

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@VanGoghsDog
I would counter your point and say that’s it’s imperative you invite me around, I can only remember watery cauliflower cheese, lumpy bread sauce and as for bread & butter pudding, just a stogy mess, so I need to see what they are supposed to be like[/quote]
I hate bread and butter pudding 🤣

@VanGoghsDog Good job Mr Stone won't ever get to see my white/cheese sauce making skills....i add all the ingredients (except cheese) all at the start and heat on the hob and stir with a whisk until it thickens. Complete game changer and no faffing or making the roux.

@WeWantTheFinestWines hope your walk goes ahead! Love your cool attitude too, I've wasted far too much time tarting up for some undesirable or another!

Just spent a pleasant half hour reading the thread as haven't been on in a week I don't think! Christmas has been nice but I've felt a bit flat at times like others. Still, the cosiness and fairy lights are something to enjoy - will be keeping mine until the new year.

I suppose I want a bit of advice. MrTeacher came over on boxing day as we'd planned. It was his first time here and the first time I've invited a date over. Now I've said before he lives in a very pristine new house with everything perfectly matched. My house is old, slightly falling apart but generally people say it's beautiful and like the decor etc. Now this guy had the actual nerve to critique several things - why is this not screwed in, why is this not symmetrical, why do you have stuff on top of your fridge and cupboards. Not a compliment to be heard and of course he didn't say I looked nice or he'd missed me or anything.
So was feeling quite irritated by him in general.
Then yesterday evening, sent him a drunk text inviting myself over - was out with friends in the pub, feeling the Christmas spirit (horny) and he shut it down as he had someone over. I sent quite a childish text saying I'd think of something else to do. And ended up on a pretty x rated video call to another iron when I got home. Which I don't feel great about today. Was attention seeking I guess.
I dont know what to do. I struggle with his closed off nature and the fact he doesn't make me feel very wanted most of the time. Something about him draws me in but I don't like how I feel after I've seen him sometimes. And I'm pretty embarrassed by my behaviour yesterday tbh. Should I say how I feel or just sack it off?

Mr K just left after 48hrs together, he came to my parents for Boxing Day and stayed all of yesterday as it was my birthday.
Its been a really great time, he still thinks my big, mad and loud family are great and just the same as him (he's met everyone but never had 20 of us all in one room).
He did great with Christmas and birthday presents and took me and my adult kids out for a meal yesterday.
He is so different from my ex and he actually shows he cares and I may have been slightly emotional over it yesterday🙄
I think he might be a keeper (Disclaimer - I reserve the right to change my mind on this statement just in case I've got the oxytocin flowing still because we all know I've got a cold heart with no feeling😂)

I make cheese sauce the same as you @VanGoghsDog but my exmil used to use your method @SortingItOut and it was always delicious!
Bravo @Ovenaffray on the asking out IRL! I hope it pays off! Sounds like a great start that you already 'know' each other.
@WeWantTheFinestWines hope you enjoyed the walk, here for the update... Mr Favourite Place definitely has a ring to it. Mr D is my 'favourite place' cheeeeesy but I don't care we've had a wonderful 24hrs together and my feels are getting crazy strong. I can really see a future with him. On that note, he's met my DC and they got on like a house on fire 😍

[quote SortingItOut]@VanGoghsDog Good job Mr Stone won't ever get to see my white/cheese sauce making skills....i add all the ingredients (except cheese) all at the start and heat on the hob and stir with a whisk until it thickens. Complete game changer and no faffing or making the roux.[/quote]
That works fine too, I've done it that way in the past and it's the way Delia suggests. But I have found it a bit more difficult to ensure its smooth that way, personally.

@MizK I'd be sacking Mr Teacher off just for the comments about your house, no one slates my house and stays my friend.
Its just politeness to accept people as they are. I've been in some awful dirty houses but never said anything to them.

My house needs work doing and can be messy at times (2 dogs and 3 adults is the cause plus me who's housework averse,) but Mr K says not a word even though hos house is pretty immaculate.

I believe your main connection is sexual - you can get that anywhere. Plus how can you ever invite him round again?

Now this guy had the actual nerve to critique several things - why is this not screwed in, why is this not symmetrical, why do you have stuff on top of your fridge and cupboards. Not a compliment to be heard and of course he didn't say I looked nice or he'd missed me or anything.

Yeah, that would piss me off. I wouldn't feel compatible with someone who did that.

I dated a guy once who said three times "I struggle with blue for a living room" (or similar) in one bloody evening. I told him he was free to leave if it was such a struggle.

I'd not worry about him turning down your booty call, as he had a friend over, but the fact you reverted to another iron I think answers your question and as you've been on the fence about him already. .....

@MizK, no one should be making comments like that about your home. It would be an instant shut down from me because someone who cares about you - or even understands the bare essentials of social etiquette - knows that it's completely unacceptable and uncalled for to be so rude. You have mentioned before about aspects of his demeanour. If you are looking for the real deal then you need someone who makes you feel comfortable and accepted.

@VanGoghsDog

Now this guy had the actual nerve to critique several things - why is this not screwed in, why is this not symmetrical, why do you have stuff on top of your fridge and cupboards. Not a compliment to be heard and of course he didn't say I looked nice or he'd missed me or anything.

Yeah, that would piss me off. I wouldn't feel compatible with someone who did that.

I dated a guy once who said three times "I struggle with blue for a living room" (or similar) in one bloody evening. I told him he was free to leave if it was such a struggle.

I'd not worry about him turning down your booty call, as he had a friend over, but the fact you reverted to another iron I think answers your question and as you've been on the fence about him already. .....

100% this, I would never outwardly criticise, someone else’s house (but I would internally notice), Ms Business’s house was a mess inside, but I didn’t tell her.

Turned down for a Booty call, his asserting his boundaries.
X-rated video call with another iron, yeah is over, sorry.

@MizK

You haven't done anything wrong, what an effing nerve he's got to be invited into your home and start criticising. Mr Teacher could do with teaching himself some lessons.

So what if you've had a drink and feeling a little bit horny, it's Christmas you're having a break from the everyday humdrum, you're in your own home and you haven't broken any rules, don't beat yourself up 💐💐

Sorry, pressed send too quick. I'll start again...

@MizK

What a cheeky bark he is (I could use stronger words, but I'll leave it at that)

It's not his job to critique your home. I would sack him off for that, personally.

😘❤️😘

What an earth is wrong with teachers and dating? All the ones that seemed to me featured on this thread have no manners at all!

*be. Hands are bad today! ❤️