Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote StartingAgain6369]@MizK

You haven't done anything wrong, what an effing nerve he's got to be invited into your home and start criticising. Mr Teacher could do with teaching himself some lessons.

So what if you've had a drink and feeling a little bit horny, it's Christmas you're having a break from the everyday humdrum, you're in your own home and you haven't broken any rules, don't beat yourself up 💐💐[/quote]
Hear hear, @StartingAgain6369! ❤️

So tonight's date is off. Going to have a call instead so all is not lost just yet. Just need to find something for dinner now!!

Got three other irons I'm chatting to. Maybe I'll get to a date with one of them!!

@MizK what a CF coming in and picking fault in your home. It might not be to his taste but it's your home and nothing to do with him.

@Ovenaffray my youngest is a teen and is taking way to much interest in my OLD experience. Enjoy your date!

Well, date with Mr Favourite Place went well. Non-stop talking for over 3 hours while being windswept and splashed with salty water from the huge waves. We seem to have a lot in common - politics, music, movies, books - and he was a perfect gentleman, catching me when I almost blew over at one point and complimenting me on my white hair! There were shades of Brief Encounter when he had to untangle my scarf from my spirally earring a few times 😄
And we bumped into a friend of mine getting coffee, who thinks he's hot, so that's nice.
He made it clear that he liked me and would like to see me again and we had a little carpark kiss so all in all a pretty good date 🙂

That sounds lovely!

@WeWantTheFinestWines Yay!! Sounds like a great date!!

Nice to read about lovely dates. I've got a quick question - am supposed to be having a date zero this evening but nothing has been firmed up. We only started chatting two days ago, he sent a message 45mins ago, no mention of date. I replied. Dead end? I'm particularly intrigued how the men on this thread would interpret that?

@VanGoghsDog it does touch a nerve doesn't it! I just don't know why anyone would feel the need to give their opinion - I'm glad you told him straight. Need to take a leaf out of your book.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards haha I agree about teachers - I'm one and it's probably clear I'm a pain in the arse to date too!
@startingAgain6369 thank you, I have been feeling bad all day so its made me feel better to hear that.
@FabulousMrFifty @Onesmallstep67 @teesguy @SortingItOut thank you. Its so hard sometimes figuring out whether im being oversensitive but it seems his comments are pretty obviously out of line. I fear he may be the sort who likes to say whatever he wants and present it as honesty (rather than the rudeness it actually is).
I think I'm going to be really direct and say what I'm thinking to him and that will probably be that. Could probably do with a detox from dating tbh (probably won't but we'll see.)

@WeWantTheFinestWines aah your date sounds perfect! So pleased for you.

@teesguy the call could still be good, fingers crossed. And sounds like you have plenty going on with potential irons, go you!

@Misty9 I'd probably not go anyway if he left it much later to set a time. Old fashioned I suppose but I'd hope that he would be keen enough to have it set up - he should be excited to meet you!

@Misty9 I would probably be confused by your message but that probably says more about me! But if you have talked about a date and he hasn't reached out to make plans then I would probably be annoyed. I'm a planner, I like to know what is going on,.....I appreciate that some people are just more go with the flow......but distinguishing between this vs. just being flaky is really tough.

@teesguy what do you mean confused by my message?

@MizK I'm thinking that too, if he can't be bothered to firm up plans then he's not that bothered full stop. Sorry about Mr teachers behaviour too - I'd pay close attention to how you feel after you've spent time with him as this contributes hugely to our feeling of self worth. Only give your precious time to those who leave you feeling good

@WeWantTheFinestWines
Wow, yes, go girl, when is the next date?

@Misty9
It's not difficult (even for a male) to say a time and a location, your response is more than fair

[quote MizK]@VanGoghsDog it does touch a nerve doesn't it! I just don't know why anyone would feel the need to give their opinion - I'm glad you told him straight. Need to take a leaf out of your book.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards haha I agree about teachers - I'm one and it's probably clear I'm a pain in the arse to date too!
@startingAgain6369 thank you, I have been feeling bad all day so its made me feel better to hear that.
@FabulousMrFifty @Onesmallstep67 @teesguy @SortingItOut thank you. Its so hard sometimes figuring out whether im being oversensitive but it seems his comments are pretty obviously out of line. I fear he may be the sort who likes to say whatever he wants and present it as honesty (rather than the rudeness it actually is).
I think I'm going to be really direct and say what I'm thinking to him and that will probably be that. Could probably do with a detox from dating tbh (probably won't but we'll see.)

@WeWantTheFinestWines aah your date sounds perfect! So pleased for you.[/quote]
@MizK I didn't mean you- you sound lovely. I meant the male teachers that have been talked about. It's not being a pain in the arse to expect irons to treat you with respect ❤️

Hey all thanks for all the kind words and support. @VanGoghsDog sorry your mother is difficult too. Not had any contact with mine since her last psychotic episode in the summer, it’s just impossible to be honest and she just completely wrecks my head so I just can’t anymore.

Had a really lovely time at my friends and the nice long drive to the new forest and back was great for a bit of head clearance. Did have a bit of a cry on the way back as felt a bit empty. I see how loving her family is and just wish I had that.

New year’s resolution… attempt to start a conversation with very hot guy I keep walking past in my local high street. Nothing ventured nothing gained hope everyone is well today! @WeWantTheFinestWines your date sounded lovely!!

@SortingItOut hope you had a lovely birthday! 🎂 xx

@Misty9
What were the gist of the messages ?

Happy birthday, @Sorting ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines sounds like you had a wonderful time ❤️

@Shayelle2009 😘😘

@FabulousMrFifty do you mean in general? All sorts really. He's been in touch and asked what I'm up to tonight I really don't understand some people! Am busy making chocolate brownies now anyway

@Misty9 when you replied "Dead End" that would have confused me unless the rest of the conversation was in context.....but that is just probably me!

So the telephone chat with my iron was good. Conversation flowed well and we chatted for around 90 mins. Will hopefully get to meet up early in the new year.

@teesguy oh I see what you thought! No, I didn't reply with dead end 😂 I replied with something about my day (he'd asked) and whether he'd changed his mind. He's now asked what my plans are tonight?! Can't be arsed anyway. Your chat sounds good - I always think a phone chat first is a good screener anyway

@Misty9
"Am busy making chocolate brownies now anyway"

Yes please, I'm a expert chocolate brownie taster 😉

They are apparently the best brownies ever according to the colleague whose leaving I'm baking them for.

Shayelle I know that feeling so well. The warmth of happy family life and then suddenly the solitude of afterwards. It gets better though, doesn't it, as you settle back into your comfortable space. I'm excited for all the hot guys in your neighbourhood!

Thanks all re my date. We've decided what we're going to do for the next one - another walk, but with a pub involved - and he's left it for me to suggest a day as my schedule is more complicated than his so he'll fit in around me. He has no kids woop woo! But a niece he is close to so not a cold hearted recluse 😅

@Misty9
I would guess that he trying to sound you out and get the conversation moving along rather then actually asking if you are free

@SortingItOut I hope you had a good birthday 🥳

We already agreed on meeting this evening when we first started chatting. But I suspect he's not single. He dodged a question about his surname and I've directly asked if he wants to meet and he's not answered that either. He's deleted now.