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Original poster

Thread 219: Dating in a winter wonderland

970 replies

Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 08:37

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 08:53

@Shayelle2009

The Rules:
  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thanks for the new thread!!

@FabulousMrFifty gorgeous photos!!

@ibelieveinmirrorballs right I have a clearer picture now. I'm afraid I'd throw this one back. I don't like this vibe at all.

@Isitreallyme177 I do hope you can scrub this man from your mind!! I'm really annoyed with him on your behalf and reading between the lines I think he's trying to be a bit of a player and in his sweetshop phase. You don't need this kind of person in your life

Thank goodness MrPoet cancelled. Just trying to figure out logistics with MrBeau today or tomorrow 😊 and I would rather have the time to focus on him and getting my bits of work done so that we can have some nice mini dates as we'd planned. He's finishing up his job in the arse end of London and will either grab his car or get the train down once he's done.

And drum roll I finished the first version of my big creative thing over the weekend. I'm so chuffed!!!

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 08:55

Good luck with date zero with the beautiful MrBeau @BelladiMamma! Cant wait to hear about it! And feels so good finishing sonething creative 💗💗

OP posts:
InABetterPlaceNow · 29/11/2021 09:22

@ibelieveinmirrorballs hmm with the fuller story I'm getting some icky vibes. I especially don't like the "I don't think anything will happen". I wonder what SHE is expecting and if she'd felt lead on if she knew there was a potential start of a relationship brewing for him?

I really, really hate this bit of a relationship where it's far too soon to be any kind of exclusive and you hardly know what someone is really like. It's a hard balance of having a level of trust so that things can grow, while also keeping a level of guard because they could just be a douche.

I think I've done far too much thinking over the last 24 hours Grin Thank goodness for the start of the week and all the business that comes with it!

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 09:30

I’m having an anxious start to the week, not sure if I’m going to get to see my family as these cases of Omicron have been found in France now and the french gvmt are going to tighten restrictions 😩😭 just waiting to hear exactly what they’re going to do 😞

OP posts:
BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 09:31

@Shayelle2009

I’m having an anxious start to the week, not sure if I’m going to get to see my family as these cases of Omicron have been found in France now and the french gvmt are going to tighten restrictions 😩😭 just waiting to hear exactly what they’re going to do 😞
Same

Virtual hand holding ♥️

Isitreallyme177 · 29/11/2021 09:33

@BelladiMamma I think you are right. Sadly I think he well and truly had me fooled.

Isitreallyme177 · 29/11/2021 09:36

@Shayelle2009 oh no that isn't good. I am keeping everything crossed for you. I really hope you do get to see them. 💗

It isn't looking like my younger brother will be coming for Christmas either now.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 09:38

Thanks lovelies. Seeing my dad has been the one thing really keeping me going. If only I’d gone a few weeks ago. I would have if we’d have known this but who can predict any if it. Its so bloody unsettling and upsetting isn’t it 😭 I don’t feel good today 💔

OP posts:
BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 09:43

[quote Isitreallyme177]@BelladiMamma I think you are right. Sadly I think he well and truly had me fooled.[/quote]
Time to be selfish. What are you looking for? What do you want? Spend a little time each day getting closer to that goal. These guys are so selfish they're boring. They've gone the wrong side of selfish and they aren't the 'respectful' side of selfish. This man has a lot of growing up to do and I hope the women in his life know that too!

I am the most focused on myself I've ever been. Try it, it's good for you! I want to rework my creative project, change careers, keep fit. Meet someone who I can be myself with. Keep seeing my family and my friends. Have fun with my DD. I do a little each day to get me closer to each of those goals and also I enjoy the journey. God I'm even making myself sick 🤣

BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 09:44

@Shayelle2009

Thanks lovelies. Seeing my dad has been the one thing really keeping me going. If only I’d gone a few weeks ago. I would have if we’d have known this but who can predict any if it. Its so bloody unsettling and upsetting isn’t it 😭 I don’t feel good today 💔
♥️♥️♥️
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 09:45

I have really got back into my art during covid. It keeps me sane. We all need something 💛

OP posts:
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 09:52

I’ve decided I’m going to do dry January too. I know it’s a way off but need some goals and plans to stay positive and focussed

OP posts:
Eesha · 29/11/2021 09:55

Thanks @Shayelle2009 for the new thread. How are you?

@BelladiMamma bummer about Mr Poet but it gives you more time to focus on Mr Beau and yourself.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs this stuff doesn't sit well with me. Although it seems judgey, he's already said he's a cheat, then disappeared when his ex fb came over. Do you really like him this much? I would try hard to take a mental step back here. This would play havoc with my anxiety.

Eesha · 29/11/2021 09:59

@Isitreallyme177 these two were bozos but you have learnt from it and won't make the same mistake again.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 10:00

Hey @Eesha feeling quite crappy as meant to be flying this weekend now on tenterhooks waiting for french gvmt announcement. Its all shitty!! Hope things are still going nice with your iron 💗

OP posts:
BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 10:06

@Shayelle2009

Hey *@Eesha* feeling quite crappy as meant to be flying this weekend now on tenterhooks waiting for french gvmt announcement. Its all shitty!! Hope things are still going nice with your iron 💗
Can I join in with the anxiety - when and what is the announcement that we should be looking out for? My Dad is usually quite good at keeping me updated but just in case ...
WeWantTheFinestWines · 29/11/2021 10:12

Checking in, thanks for the new thread.

Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 10:12

@BelladiMamma due to there being cases of Omicron in France now the French gvmt will be ‘tightening restrictions’ though no idea what this will be, when they will announce it and when it might come in from. If/when I hear more I’ll shout you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shayelle2009 · 29/11/2021 10:13

I can’t concentrate on anything today now. Work is out the window 😣

OP posts:
InABetterPlaceNow · 29/11/2021 10:21

Sending love to everyone who might be affected by any measures put in place for this new strain!

Though the media is doing what it does and making it all sound scary, I'm hoping for this to be a potential blessing in disguise in the long run. If the mutations make it a less dangerous strain (which there seems to be indicators for) then it could be the beginning of the end of the pandemic if it manages to become the dominant strain.

Only time will tell, but I'm quietly hopeful!

MayEye · 29/11/2021 10:24

Thanks for new thread @Shayelle2009 and I really hope your worries are for nothing about seeing your Dad 🤗

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 29/11/2021 10:49

Thanks all. He’s been in touch today and we’ll chat later. I feel like I’m responsible for where we’re at at least in part because I told him I didn’t want to talk about it as it was too early and we’re not in an exclusive relationship.

I know it’s red flag central and the only mitigating factors are that he’s otherwise thoroughly decent and the whole disclosure was almost an overshare wanting to be honest and we do have a good - and very equal, to date - connection. Re the cheating - it happened once after a two year relationship and caused the end of it. Totally aware this is just his version etc etc… but no previous form for it and not a feature of his relationship to mother of his children (which ended amicably 11 years ago).

Bangheadhere40 · 29/11/2021 11:08

Checking in - thanks for the new thread!

@Shayelle2009 hope you get good news about travelling, that's such a pain :-(

@Isitreallyme177 another vote for removing Mr Cricket from your life - did he even respond to your recent text?

No real news from me, the shop iron has dried up and I didn't keep it going. Started speaking to another iron last night who seems nice but typically lives 2 hours away....sigh....

JustThisLastLittleBit · 29/11/2021 11:15

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Omicron, as such an extreme mutation, is the virus beginning to burn itself out.

BelladiMamma · 29/11/2021 11:59

@ibelieveinmirrorballs

Thanks all. He’s been in touch today and we’ll chat later. I feel like I’m responsible for where we’re at at least in part because I told him I didn’t want to talk about it as it was too early and we’re not in an exclusive relationship.

I know it’s red flag central and the only mitigating factors are that he’s otherwise thoroughly decent and the whole disclosure was almost an overshare wanting to be honest and we do have a good - and very equal, to date - connection. Re the cheating - it happened once after a two year relationship and caused the end of it. Totally aware this is just his version etc etc… but no previous form for it and not a feature of his relationship to mother of his children (which ended amicably 11 years ago).

It's NOT your responsibility and your anxiety is probably more to do with your gut instinct telling you to be wary ♥️