I'm 44 and I have met a guy who is 30 - my daughters are not too happy.

[Cupcake00]

I met him in work. So knew him for about 18 months previous. He has always been so lovely and we always had a laugh when at work. We went on a few dates and since both changed jobs. I was very very apprehensive at first and very aware of the age gap. The more I have got to know him (its been about 10 months), the more I forget about the gap in age. I have dated in the past and I have never met anyone so kind and so caring. I told my daughters 24 and 16 about him a few weeks back and they have now met him. They're not happy at all. To the point my eldest has distanced herself quite a bit. My 16 year old says it's 'cringy'. I now feel more anxious than I did to begin with, when the age concerned me. Is it all worth it. Some friendly advice would be appreciated.

It's not cringey op! Age is just a number and a 14 year age gap isn't a huge gap imo. Thing is people wouldn't think anything of it if a 44 year old man was with a 30 year old woman. People seem to judge when the woman is older. Do what makes you happy, your daughters will come around I'm sure 💕

I agree with the caring thing you mentioned. Dp is actually 13 years older than me. People often say what when he's old! But you really don't know what's around the corner. We could all come into bad health - unfortunately. I have two old friends who's dads were considerably older than their mothers - 20 year plus sort of age gap. Their mothers died young tragically, one in an accident, one was poorly and their dads are still going strong. Probably irrelevant to you but my point is that sometimes life doesn't go how we plan!

@IamEarthymama

I am 17 years older than my DW. We have been together for over 20 years. People looked askance at the beginning but we haven't heard any criticism for ages. I guess people may discuss it when we are not there. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

We are very happy, though like most long term couples we have our difficult times.
Most of our friends are mutual, though we also have our own little groups, mostly through our interests.

Seize the Day!

Totally this!

@Cupcake00
This is a dc problem they have to get over, sorry but they are being selfish, do not give up in happiness for it won't be long until the 16 year old is away to uni or doing what ever and you will be left on your own. So don't do things to suit them it's your time to live your life they might not like it but that's not your problem.

Good on you OP. I think you're right, you being in a relationship full stop probably feels strange to them. It'll resolve itself in time.

My DD (18) would be horrified at a 14 year age gap - from her perspective it is like her dating a 32 year old - yuk!

She was aghast at a friend's house to see a picture of friend's parents on the mantelpiece - the DM was 7 and the DH was 17. They got together 10 years later at 17 and 27.

Perspective. It seems a huge gap to a 16 year old. But you are both mature adults. He has a child already. I wouldn't worry about needing a carer , women live longer and generally stay healthier. If it lasts that long - which nobody knows. Carpe Diem! The DCs will probably get used to it. Do try and compartmentalise at first though.

some alternative young dude.... to her young man... some quite alternative views on relationships and enjoys relationships with women who are old enough to have grown families close to his age... Probably a bit more of a sexual Picasso

I mean honesty @TarasCrazyTiara I only keep coming back for your ridiculous posts.

You say you're ops age but I suspect you feel a lot older if you think 30 is so young, stud muffin and if they'd contemplate a relationship with someone of 44 that they're basically a fetishist.

Hes 30, he could have a 14 to so a similar age to ops youngest. Would that be less kinky? Ops 44, she could easily have a 4 and 2 year old. Would THAT make it less kinky?

At 44, I'll have an 11 and year olds. What age man am I allowed to date without it being a fetish him wanting spanking over my knee as he calls me Mommy?

If you really think that a 44 year old Mum bringing home a 30 year old dude to her two grown daughters would usually be a total non issue your dreaming.
So OP at 44 is a decrepit old woman only good for fetish sex. The 30 yo is a young lad dude so young he has Mommy issues.but the 24 and 16 year old are grown women.

Do men age differently to men?

I'm assuming Tara was OK with her teenager bringing home a man in his 30s because she actually has no redirect for men and assumes their all immature kids

There is an age gap and it's quite close in age to ur eldest daughter. If your happy then just ignore they will soon forget about it. More importantly they will soon get used to the idea and used to him. It's probably a bit of a shock if you've been single for so long.

My aunt actually met someone when she was early forties and he was early 20's. Her son who was only a few hrs younger than the bf wasn't very happy. Only reason though was because of his age. The bf moved in and very quickly all the family got used to him. It didn't last but they were together a gd few yrs. He was actually really nice and I actually bumped into him myself when I was out clubbing 😂 Honestly it will be old news soon enough.

If it was the other way around, it would be different I think. My DH is almost 13 years older than me. No one batted an eye lid when we got together and if people were talking about us behind our backs, I’d have just thought that their own lives must be very boring!!! I’m only 10 years older than his daughter. I was extremely concerned about how she would take it, but she was brilliant and, 16 years later, DH and I have been married 12 years, and DD and I still get on very well. This isn’t your daughters decision , it’s yours. You are an adult, you are doing nothing wrong.

This thread is hilarious- all this talk of 30 year old young bucks/studs

Younger men are always going to go for older women and vice versa as they are hitting their sexual peaks at the same time. Younger men are attracted to the sexual experience of older women and at a time women are hitting their sexual peak a lot of men their own age and older are already heading to erectile dysfunction. So it makes perfect sense as far as sex is concerned for there to be an age gap. And as far as relationships go of course people will fall in love regardless of their ages. At 30 and 40 there is very little difference in terms of life experience really. I can't believe anyone (outside of MN) would bat an eyelid. A 16 year old is going to find their mum dating anyone 'cringey' no matter what the age let's face it
I'm glad you're happy and carrying on the relationship OP. It's really hard to find a partner you're compatible with so wouldnt give that up easily!