I've got a problem with him burping. Am I being uptight?

[SoGross]

Married to DH with two small DC. Me in thirties, him in forties.

Rightio....jokes aside....

Last year he has started to burp in the evenings. I mean some really long, loud, almost cartoon like burps. It started off as me joking about it and saying he needs to stop etc but it all being funny and a bit silly. I would pretend to slap him when he did it etc.

He does it more and more now. I mean, every 15 minutes. And so loud. Right next to me on the sofa

I've started to be slightly more serious with my annoyance and he says 'oh ok i'll try to stop but i can't help it' but he never does it in front of anyone else so clearly he can help it. But then he says 'but i'm relaxed at home'

Tonight, I was trying to get the DC ready for bed and he just did the loudest and longest burp and both kids started giggling. And I just lost it at him. I said I found him disgusting.

He is now sulking. And basically saying I'm an uptight prude. And a bit of a bully. And if he ever called me "disgusting", I would rightly be v. upset. He says I've being very OTT and he now feels uncomfortable in his own house.

What do you guys think? When I write this I think I sound uptight but he does it so, so much.

'oh ok i'll try to stop but i can't help it' but he never does it in front of anyone else so clearly he can help it. But then he says 'but i'm relaxed at home'

Translation: "I would be too embarrassed to do this in front of anyone else but I don't really care about or respect your opinion, wife, so I don't mind doing it in front of you."

He clearly CAN help it because he usen't to do it. And now he's DARVOing you. I'd be incandescent, in your shoes.

I hate it too. I just don’t get how adults find it funny.

Send him to the dr

"Acid reflux or gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) can sometimes cause excessive belching by promoting increased swallowing. Chronic belching may also be related to inflammation of the stomach lining or to an infection with Helicobacter pylori, the bacterium responsible for some stomach ulcers"
Quote from google

Could be signs of something off

Well, I find it annoying sometimes when my DP burps / farts with wild abandon! However IMO he should be perfectly comfortable in his own home around close family to let his body function how it will.

This is a rather unpopular opinion I know, and occasionally he'll do a real stinker that floors me and gets him a funny look - but I think within the walls of the home if he wants to fart to kingdom come I'll not stop him. I wouldn't expect him to stop me either (although for some reason he's the gassy one 😂). I wouldn't lose it at him / call him disgusting etc. There's a time and a place for bodily functions, and in your own home seems fair.

If it's the hill you're willing to die on and it's a deal breaker, that's up to you!

I would find that disgusting too. As a PP has said he clearly can help it, and should. I have had similar with my DH and swearing, he doesn’t do it in front of others but will in front of me, and when I’ve confronted him apparently he feels comfortable around me so doesn’t see why he can’t “express himself”

What is he eating or drinking that he didn’t used to?

YANBU OP. Tell him it’s really unattractive. So sex couldn’t be further from your mind when you hear him burping.

I agree it sounds like acid reflux.
When I get it, rarely now thankfully, I burp a lot.
And it's not enjoyable.
I had multiple stomach ulcers.
I would think in the evenings after a big meal is setting it off.
Try asking your dh if he feels uncomfortable.

And if he ever called me "disgusting", I would rightly be v. upset

Well he is going out of his way to be disgusting and is now allegedly hurt you find him disgusting. Isn’t this what he wanted? Wasn’t the whole point of this exaggerated belching to disgust you?

My exh was similar with the farts. He would do it constantly and deliberately and play the victim when I complained. He was able to refrain when at work and around other people.

I have noticed from my divorced friends that their ex husbands would often engage in rancid behaviour like nose or feet picking, farting and belching, all habits that are designed to produce feelings of disgust.

All behaviour communicates something. I think these behaviours when done on purpose are a clear statement that they don’t care what you think.

How are things in general?

A year ago I would completely agree with you, but when I was pregnant I found that I did start burping without really being able to help it, and had a newfound sympathy with the flatulent.

So it could be acid reflux related.

Nobody burps on purpose. As he has just started doing it in the last year, my first assumption would be that he has a medical issue.

Gross. I absolutely couldn't put up with this. He needs to get more manners and see a doctor.

I once went out for an evening in the pub with a friend and her friends. One of the women was talking about her mum and how her dad does these absolutely disgusting burps and her mum absolutely hates it and she has asked him time and time again to please not do them so deliberately loud and disgustingly and still he did it. Louder and even more disgusting. Their daughter tried to speak to him as well and tell him how it made everyone feel that he was deliberately trying to upset her and it made no difference. She was sad her mum wouldn't leave.

You can burp and do or 'normally.' Or you can do it like the OPs husband is

All of you pro revolting habits ... you'd be fine with it done as you walked into a restaurant would you? In a cinema? Sat with the neighbours having a drink?

No. Doubtful. And all of the ' but it's his own house' ... absolutely it is and he should be relaxed. But to deliberately do it with sound effects?

I'd have lost my shit too by now OP. It's hardly attractive is it?

Has he excluded medical cause.

There are several unpleasant conditions requiring treatment of which burping is a symptom.

He needs to see a doctor to get medical issues ruled out, I wish DH had seen one when he started with excessive wind.

Seriously - if he never does this in front of anyone else, this clearly isn't a medical issue. It's a choice

Just tell him he isn't sexually attractive when he does it..

Why is everyone so uncomfortable with people being comfortable in their own home?

I bet there are a ton of things you don't do out of the house that you do indoors because you are comfortable. It's like parents who wonder why their kids misbehave and get grumpy at home but are perfect children out of the house.

Your house is where you GET to burp and be in a bad mood. Fair enough, ask him to tone it down and reach a compromise, but you do sound a bit uptight about it. He is hardly grabbing your face a letting a fart rip into your nostrils

Some people believe some bodily functions are best kept private.. A bit of mystery is surely good for a relationship no?
For example my dh has never heard me fart!!
Nor my dc...

It definitely sounds like acid reflux. Just like mine. I can’t really help the burping, it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.
I can sort of control it in public but it’s very uncomfortable and leaves me nauseous and unable to eat properly.
I like to think I can ‘let it go’ in my own home without rude judgement.

I have a medical condition that leads to excessive farting and burping. I don’t enjoy it but do feel like I should be able to do it in my own home.

I don’t do it in public or at work, no, so yes I can control it but that leads to discomfort and can cause further pain or effects later on.

My husband doesn’t like it and occasionally looks at me ‘disgusted’ but honestly, I refuse to cause myself further discomfort from holding it in, in my own home. He also says, I can help it as I don’t do it in public.

He drinks a lot of fizzy drinks. But he burps like someone who is trying to make them as loud as possible. And its all evening. But he doesn't do it at work or around friends. I hate the kids laughing at it because they're only going to copy and then get told off and that's not fair.

It started a year ago. He also started leaving the loo seat up around the same time.

I told him how unattractive I find it and that's when he got upset. And I do understand. I had a baby 6 months ago and am carrying extra baby weight and my boobs are at my knees and if I he said I was now unattractive to him I'd be upset.

I will urge him to go to doctor but there is no chance of that happening really as he doesn't go to the GP for anything. I just can't face years of sitting next to a bloke doing almost comedy levels burps. Sometimes he takes a bow afterwards. He is loving it. And then I'm the enemy for being uptight about it and not having a laugh. But there is a limit surely

It started a year ago. He also started leaving the loo seat up around the same time.

I had a baby 6 months ago

Just a thought but you would have been 12 weeks pregnant a year ago- any chance you were having morning sickness, exhausted and not really up for sex? Could he have been punishing you for that?

am carrying extra baby weight and my boobs are at my knees and if I he said I was now unattractive to him I'd be upset.

On what planet is your body shape/weight remotely comparable to the way he chooses to behave?

I have terrible IBS and often burp and fart infront of my partner. He says he doesn't mind but I can't help but feel disgusting about it. Of course you don't do it infront of anyone else thst would be highly embarrassing but that's not to say a burp hasn't accidentally fallen put at work before. I was mortified. Maybe he has the same. Give him some gaviscon

I don't know if he's deliberately punishing me. I was pregnant with twins a year ago and lost one at 20 weeks. That was last Christmas. I had to carry them both until 40 weeks and gave birth to them both. I only mention this as I can see a weird time correlation with DH behaviour in general becoming quite odd for this lazy year. Obsessed with the heating bill for example. And I mean obsessed. I don't know. He's not the man I married. He is rude and unsupportive and just kind of a bit gross. I just look at him and feel so turned off. He also became obsessed with right wing online stuff. I found it difficult to get support from him during the last year and maybe I'm just getting so wound up by his burps because it's deeper stuff. Or maybe he's just a gross bloke and I need to chill the F out.