How do you talk to other women?

[littlepieces]

I've always found making friendships, or even just conversation, with women really difficult, I feel like there's something I'm just not getting. I much prefer the company of men and find them much easier to talk to, easier to maintain relationships with, and much easier to sort of read I suppose. I also never really know what to say to women? With men I just have a laugh, but women don't really communicate like that. What do you talk about with other women? Anyone else similar? Or have any advice?

Eg. I went for a try out at a sports club recently. Another woman around my age was also there for the first time, so I said hi it's my first time here too, haven't played for a while not sure what to expect etc. She just looked at me like I'd spoken in a foreign language, and said nothing back. I tried again, but just got a brief laugh humouring me. And then later we had to pair up for a warm up and I turned to her to ask if she wanted to pair up and she turned immediately away and asked someone else. I don't look unusual or anything so have absolutely no idea what that was all about, but would say that's pretty typical of my social failings!

Sadly I can't open the businessweek link again as it's now wanting me to subscribe.

I found the 500,000 number and that was an MSN poll. Not a study. Not even a survey. They were doing daily polls and this was one. So what. IME 2 or 3 questions? Often only one.

This is what they say about it-

'MSN polled more than 463,000 readers on its US homepage on Monday, July 17. It then used machine learning and big data, such as the census, to model how a representative sample of the US would have responded. It's nearly as accurate as a traditional scientific survey, MSN said.'

So the site that did the poll claim that it's nearly as good as a survey. That's just a claim. They say so themselves. And a poll that might be as good as a survey is definitely not a study.

Note the date. One day in 2017 on USA site.

And whatever some studies say there will be something with the opposite out there somewhere!

Ok, so again I invite you to find an equal number of studies/surveys showing that women actually prefer working for other women.

There is only 1 rule to meeting people and getting them to talk to you:
You need to talk about them.
That’s it.
Man or woman it doesn’t matter. Ask questions about them and Listen to what they have to say. Look interested and pretend they are the most interesting person you’ve met all year. Remember what they say. Use it next time you see them.
Works pretty much 100% because almost everyone lives talking about themselves.
The first 2 things you said in the sports club example were both phrased to be about yourself.

I’ve not read all the posts. My experience is that women are much more open. I met a woman outside Heathrow, We we’re both having one sneaky cigarette. By the end of it I knew she’d had a breakdown on the holiday she had just returned from and why. her boyfriend (both good and bad points) and how he rescued her and her life plan.
At a parties I’m always introduced to some woman and the next day my husband will be amazed I know the last time she had sex, why her brother is divorcing and what she’s wearing under her dress.
He meanwhile will talk all evening about cricket and not be the slightest bit interested in remembering the blokes name.

So in short.

You are very keen on diverting this conversation away from topic.

You seem to be interested in insisting women are awful and posted about USA workplaces rather than the topic.

You posted an article to 'prove' that women are awful. You either didn't actually bother to read it, or the links, carefully or are so biased that you read what you wanted to read. Only skimmed it? If the read the links I'd be surprised as they are quite clear on basic things eg they're a survey and a poll.

Both the survey and the poll are years old and only people in USA.

You seem to have conflated the two items. Describing a study with 500000 respondents which is simply incorrect.

Yet despite your entire 'evidence' being one old USA survey and another old USA daily poll on MSN.

You said this is definitive. The links are there go and read them. (Did you? If so how did you get it wrong?). IE I'm not going to listen. I have produced evidence from massive definitive study. If you think men issues in workplaces exist or don't believe the massive in depth study. Then find something disproving it.

You are
Posting untrue things
Derailing the thread
And whether deliberate or not, derailing

Thread is about making friends.
Making it about saying women are awful, given most posters will be female. Is obviously going to wind women up.

You're wasting posters time by prompting women to defend themselves from your assertion women are horrible and can't stand each other, using totally misprested 'proof'.

It's obvious to anyone reading that you have an obvious angle.

I try to gauge early on if they are sweary fuckers or not.
if they are, it just makes my life easier.

(I have found that men swear more readily because there is no man version of "that's not lady-like" judgement)

@CheeseMmmm

So in short.

You are very keen on diverting this conversation away from topic.

You seem to be interested in insisting women are awful and posted about USA workplaces rather than the topic.

You posted an article to 'prove' that women are awful. You either didn't actually bother to read it, or the links, carefully or are so biased that you read what you wanted to read. Only skimmed it? If the read the links I'd be surprised as they are quite clear on basic things eg they're a survey and a poll.

Both the survey and the poll are years old and only people in USA.

You seem to have conflated the two items. Describing a study with 500000 respondents which is simply incorrect.

Yet despite your entire 'evidence' being one old USA survey and another old USA daily poll on MSN.

You said this is definitive. The links are there go and read them. (Did you? If so how did you get it wrong?). IE I'm not going to listen. I have produced evidence from massive definitive study. If you think men issues in workplaces exist or don't believe the massive in depth study. Then find something disproving it.

You are
Posting untrue things
Derailing the thread
And whether deliberate or not, derailing

Thread is about making friends.
Making it about saying women are awful, given most posters will be female. Is obviously going to wind women up.

You're wasting posters time by prompting women to defend themselves from your assertion women are horrible and can't stand each other, using totally misprested 'proof'.

It's obvious to anyone reading that you have an obvious angle.

So basically you can’t find any evidence to back up your claims like I did?

@EightWheelGirl

you think women dislike you because of your ‘respectable arse’ why do you think men like you so much? It sounds like the arse is about all you have going for you. For some men, I guess that’s enough.

Anyway, just to help you out, women probably dislike you because you sound like a nasty person.

Where did I say men like me? You're projecting. You've clearly got a maris piper on your shoulder.

Women don't like you and nor do men?

Well that should tell you something!

Eight your 'evidence' is a daily mail link a survey and a poll. From USA. And all years old.

You have misrepresented the info you linked to through the thread.

Study with 500,000 participants? I don't know where that came from but you confidently stated it as fact.

You tell others to read the article follow the links etc and read which I suspect you didn't even do yourself. Or had a quick skim. If you had read you wouldn't have thought it was something totally completely different to what it was.

Your evidence is nothing of the sort.

Instead of saying ok misread it.

Or finding something a bit more rigorous. Which would be easy because you can find studies pretty easily saying pretty much anything.

Nope. You consume insisting that women on here go off and spend time looking for things saying essentially that women aren't all horrible and hate each other.

Do you really not care how this makes you look? Why would anyone even think about taking your posts seriously?

I suppose your reason for doing this is quite specific in a way that means you're not fussed about what your posts will make others think.

Oh and thinking I'll buy some doughnuts and wave them in front of the women at work who apparently hate you because you've got a better body than them is appalling behaviour.

Blah blah blah.

All that text but no studies, no surveys, etc. There are loads of surveys which show that women don’t like working for other women. I’ve posted several and you’ve posted nothing but waffle in return.

You keep making these over dramatic statements like I want to show that women ‘are horrible and hate each other’. Also that men hate me, which I never said.

Fact is, I’ve just pointed out that the numerous available studies on the matter show that women don’t like working for other women and you’ve got the hump about it because you want to pretend that all women are angels rather than accepting that they’re human beings with flaws just like men.

Which would be easy because you can find studies pretty easily saying pretty much anything.

The irony of you having said this three times yet not being able to find studies to show that women prefer working for other women. 😂

You posted a couple of crappy links.

It seems @CheeseMmmm has you sussed out and you don't like it very much.

So, looks like the Gallup survey was actually repeated over six decades.

A survey of 455 individuals sampled from two populations that varied in age, educational level, and work experience posed a question asked in Gallup polls over six decades: “If you were taking a new job and had your choice of a boss, would you prefer to work for a man or a woman?” Respondents could state that they would prefer a male boss, prefer a female boss, or had no preference. As expected from theory and Gallup results, respondents who had a preference preferred to work for a man more than a woman, although a majority expressed “no preference.”

www.researchgate.net/publication/267339373_The_Preference_to_Work_for_a_Man_or_a_Woman_A_Matter_of_Sex_and_Gender

Are you just Googling "How women make shit bosses"?

Because you are bound to find something.

Fact is, I’ve just pointed out that the numerous available studies on the matter

But it's not a fact, because you are not quoting studies - you are linking to surveys. Without questioning who funded them, to what end, whether they were peer reviewed, what Journal they were published in, & what the critical response of fellow scientists were.

If I had daily mail money, I could commission a survey that said 500,000 women say Eight is talking out of her arse.

Which, given what you seem to value about yourself, sounds about right.

**

But for those with a preference, men say they would rather work with men—and so do women, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey.

About three-quarters of adults, including 78% of men and 76% of women, say it doesn’t matter to them if their co-workers are women or men.

But to the remaining 22%, gender matters—and it’s men who get the nod from both sexes by about a 2-1 margin, according to the national telephone survey of 2,002 adults conducted Oct 7-27.

www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/12/16/who-men-and-women-prefer-as-their-co-workers/

Researchers have found that some female leaders exercise some behavioural attributes in the workplace that are biased towards other female co-workers. In 1973, psychologists at the University of Michigan, described the term in detail and this behaviour is described as the queen Bee syndrome.

This landmark study found that female university professors surrendered to queen bee syndrome in their evaluations of female graduate students. In this study, university faculty members were asked to assess the dedication of PhD students in their respective departments. While the male faculty members considered both male and female students were equally committed to their studies, female faculty members thought that the female graduate students were less devoted than their male counterparts.

www.rte.ie/brainstorm/2021/1122/1262343-queen-bee-syndome-female-bosses-managers/

Funny how a 500,000 respondent survey or another repeated over six decades means nothing when you don’t like the results. I never see this level of rigorous analysis of studies when the topic is male violence, for instance, or one of the other mumsnet favourites.

A new online survey has revealed that consumers would fancy a cheese and onion doughnut accompanied by a glass of champagne

www.bakeryinfo.co.uk/news/doughnut-survey-reveals-consumer-preferences/616591.article

@EightWheelGirl

Funny how a 500,000 respondent survey or another repeated over six decades means nothing when you don’t like the results. I never see this level of rigorous analysis of studies when the topic is male violence, for instance, or one of the other mumsnet favourites.

You're still confusing paid-for surveys - i.e. subjects which the funders have a vested interest in representing in a certain light - with academic studies.

The organisation you have chosen as the vehicle to promote your nonsense is biased, inaccurate, religiously & politically suspect, & originally founded as a tax haven for oil barons.
www.thenationalistview.com/research-and-reference/pew-research-centre-is-it-really-unbiased/

Bit you keep banging your drum. The only person you're embarrassing here is yourself.

Oh! ChargingBuck is your username related at all to Robin Hobb?

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

Shut up! Chade has Rosemary listening.

xx

@EightWheelGirl

Funny how a 500,000 respondent survey or another repeated over six decades means nothing when you don’t like the results. I never see this level of rigorous analysis of studies when the topic is male violence, for instance, or one of the other mumsnet favourites.

Stats on male violence are published annual by the ONS. That's the government stats body.

Drawing equivalence to stats from them, with a years old, daily poll of Americans on a website.

Is bizarre.

If you think it's not different then you're not actually interested in rigour or high quality data analysis. Which is fine but it does make you sound like you're not interested in decent results/ accuracy at all!

I think it makes sense though to be that way so you can decide-

Stats on % male female sex offenders can't be right, are biased and misleading. This one question poll that I got 10 of my mates to answer says it's nonsense. Humph bloody misandry.

Is that what that smell is?

Far too much of it in the chicken.

Got any ginger cake?