How do you talk to other women?

[littlepieces]

I've always found making friendships, or even just conversation, with women really difficult, I feel like there's something I'm just not getting. I much prefer the company of men and find them much easier to talk to, easier to maintain relationships with, and much easier to sort of read I suppose. I also never really know what to say to women? With men I just have a laugh, but women don't really communicate like that. What do you talk about with other women? Anyone else similar? Or have any advice?

Eg. I went for a try out at a sports club recently. Another woman around my age was also there for the first time, so I said hi it's my first time here too, haven't played for a while not sure what to expect etc. She just looked at me like I'd spoken in a foreign language, and said nothing back. I tried again, but just got a brief laugh humouring me. And then later we had to pair up for a warm up and I turned to her to ask if she wanted to pair up and she turned immediately away and asked someone else. I don't look unusual or anything so have absolutely no idea what that was all about, but would say that's pretty typical of my social failings!

On the topic of personal friendships eight,

Have you googled studies about various factors to do with friendships, for men and women?

I know from the articles that appear from time to time that men can (often) feel their male friendships are not close. That they aren't deep enough, or some things just aren't talked about.

And this could be a reason contributing to male MH issues.

Which as we all know have a terrible impact on everyone and for men the worst outcomes are sadly very high.

Maybe some googling in that direction would give something important to focus on, you might want to try to help in some way.

I didn't want to mention this really but it's important to the thread if must be able male/ female and friendship.

@CheeseMmmm, see her seminal work "incidence of passive-aggressive doughnut purchases vs: arse measurements cf: causation of female discontent in the workplace".

It's a zinger!

Any woman who joins a team with a small number of women who seem not to like them much from the start,

And immediately decides it's because they are overweight and the fact she has a nice arse is the issue 100%.

Is extremely invested indeed in stereotypes about women, and incapable of any self reflection / possibility that it could even possibly be anything else.

Then going out and buying doughnuts and waving them around. Because of a certainly this will upset them. Because they are overweight because ate shit all the time, and therefore are permanently on restrictive diets, and also presumably naturally are very very unhappy with how they look.

Is also based in a load of sexist opinions and assumptions.

Of course working with the women they maybe knew they would not like this. Which is just as bad.

Deliberately doing things to make others upset/ uncomfy/ feel bad about themselves is really childish and unpleasant.

Strangely neither women not men like the poster who did that.

Charging sounds like a great read!

Have you read the study 'Why women are rarely liked by men or women'?

Or 'Study into women, why they are inferior and why don't they do better?'.

Both illuminating.

No Cheese, I was too busy pulping it & shaping the resultant papier-mache into Kardashian-tastic arse curves to stuff down my jeans.

Why not just pad out KK type shapewear with doughnuts?

You said neither women or men like you

Where did I say that?

You also seem to have missed the bit about the findings being consistent with other studies.

I'm not even overly hung up on this topic. Its just that you can't seem to see how utterly invested you are in the idea that women can never do any wrong.

Men actually seem to be particularly friendly to me, which is what seems to rub some women up the wrong way. You're extremely naive if you don't believe that some established cliques of women are frosty to newcomers, especially when said newcomer is suddenly getting more attention than them, whether wanted or not.

I wasnt even the first poster to make this point.

@EightWheelGirl

Men actually seem to be particularly friendly to me, which is what seems to rub some women up the wrong way. You're extremely naive if you don't believe that some established cliques of women are frosty to newcomers, especially when said newcomer is suddenly getting more attention than them, whether wanted or not.

Yes that will be it. Jealous catty women are now envious both of your prowess with the make sex and your respectable arse. Nothing to do with your personality and how you bring yourself across to those women.

the male sex

Although I’d imagine the type is a bit of a clue as to why all these men are so lovely and friendly, rather than their superior personalities.

Well its hardly a secret that men prefer non obese women. What's your point?

@EightWheelGirl

Well its hardly a secret that men prefer non obese women. What's your point?

What’s yours? That you hate women and are a bitter and nasty person?

I guarantee women don’t dislike you because they’re jealous that men are so friendly to you. They dislike you because you’re not very nice.

How do i speak to other women?

Well, like fellow human beings.

I wonder which part of the country you live in. In the North East (in general; there are exceptions of course), it would be quite normal to strike up conversation the way you did. People would be friendly back (male or female), but when I lived in the South East, I soon realised that people don't chat to strangers in the same way. Maybe it's a cultural thing, too.

I think it's a lot to do with population density.

When in areas which are less concentrated or the places that are less crowded and feel more localsy if that's a word. It's more friendly but I suppose because you bump into the same people/ go in the same shops more.

It's still a see around a bit and work up from hello again to chatting.

I think that leads to a general culture of, I suppose it's wariness of I suppose getting in a situation where you see someone a lot and they want to chat for ages. And you don't actually know them or want to know about all the stuff.

I suppose the culture then reinforces as only the determined chatters do it with strangers and they are more than likely going to be like that iyswim. Right or wrong, yes it is that way. Just different really.

A passing alright, how's it going is generally the norm with those you see around which suits most!

Maybe where OP lives would have been useful to know as yes you're right very different around the place!

@EightWheelGirl

Men actually seem to be particularly friendly to me, which is what seems to rub some women up the wrong way. You're extremely naive if you don't believe that some established cliques of women are frosty to newcomers, especially when said newcomer is suddenly getting more attention than them, whether wanted or not.

Samantha Brick is that you??

@Luredbyapomegranate thanks for late night giggle.
Never heard of Brick, but google show me she is absolutely as devastatingly 'pretty' as Katie Hopkins. And just as smugly self-congratulatory about her very average looks.

The real puzzle isn't whether women dislike them for their purported good looks (yawn). It's where they get that level of sheer chutzpah & undeserved self-belief!

The article is a hilarious essay of invention.

I never understood Katie Hopkins saying women disliked her because she was good looking. She’s not very good looking and has a bad personality so she’s drawn bizarre conclusions on both sides.

Bit like when she stated she disliked children with place names as they were tacky just to reveal her own child not only has a place name, but one (on white children) that is generally associated with colonialism. Sometimes I can’t tell if she’s very stupid and can’t stop saying stupid things, or very very clever and knows just the thing to say that keeps her in the public eye.

I suspect the latter @Kanaloa, but with a serious recent misjudgement that has cost her a huge chunk of public appearances/commissions.

Possibly much like Our Celebrated Leader's recent "ruffled bonhomie fail" viz Important Peppa Pig Conference.

I suspect so myself. Don’t know about Mr Johnson. I suppose that’s the thing, you have to walk that line very carefully!

Boris was a bit of a laugh but not when it comes to leading the country. He’s more of a mascot than captain.

'Men actually seem to be particularly friendly to me, which is what seems to rub some women up the wrong way. '

I had missed this on first read!

So women in general don't like women who get on with men. Not sure of the thinking behind that. Assume jealously? Or maybe seeing it as some kind of betrayal to women in general, going against some kind of code of behaviour that 8 has decided is a thing? No idea.

And in eight's words, obese women who don't like women with hot bods and nice arses.

These beliefs are IME espoused by men who are wed to common stereotypical views of women. That being seen as attractive / sexually appealing to men is main priority. That women are so consumed by this that they are not capable of being anything except hostility towards any woman they see as better looking than them, or getting on with any men. This is also the reason they are bitchy, two faced, fake with other women.

All of female behaviour is based around wanting to look sexually attractive to men.

It's unusual to hear this from a woman but they are about I've met a few!

The idea that women have number 1 priority of making men think. I'd do her. And maybe chat to their friends to see if agree or not and discuss physical attributes. (As I have also heard plenty of times way more than women thinking like eight!).

When it comes to men it's not difficult to know why they think their opinions on hotness are the be all and end of for women.

For women like eight. Not thought about it tbh!

Yeah, Johnson is Made For TV, but not responsibility.

I think many people conflate his 'personable' performances on eg Have I Got News For You with an ability to be a public service actor. It's a lamentable mistake, which has cost us all the ills of Brexit. A decision he U-turned to out of the same self-interest that has him attempt to force through this month's Owen Paterson-related legislation.
Quick U-turn on THAT, too, Can't imagine why.

Cracking chat @kanola - I'm a bit pissed btw, hence spouting - WTF.

@ChargingBuck

Yeah, Johnson is Made For TV, but not responsibility.

I think many people conflate his 'personable' performances on eg Have I Got News For You with an ability to be a public service actor. It's a lamentable mistake, which has cost us all the ills of Brexit. A decision he U-turned to out of the same self-interest that has him attempt to force through this month's Owen Paterson-related legislation.
Quick U-turn on THAT, too, Can't imagine why.

Cracking chat @kanola - I'm a bit pissed btw, hence spouting - WTF.

😂

So @EightWheelGirl that’s how you chat to other women! Although to be fair if I had a respectable arse we probably wouldn’t have had that wonderful conversation.

Kanaloa KH was on apprentice I think and that's why got in public eye. I didn't watch it so don't know if she was as extreme on there or not. Must have kept racism etc undercover or think BBC would have said over a line booted!

Anyway got in public eye made way into writing outrageous, extreme things in a paper.

Widely hated but widely discussed all over the place due to the level of controversy / disgust at her writing and of course plenty of speaking mind/ saying what everyone too scared to say.

Also when needed publicity arranged to get photoed shagging a bloke in a field.

The children thing is mild! She's either thick or quite canny but either way she loves attention, must be awful to think of publishing her stuff even if it's exaggerated a bit for effect.

I didn't know she was a women hate cos so hot! Deluded.