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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What are one night stands like?

168 replies

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:21

I’m 38 and never had a one night stand! To be fair I’ve been with dh since i was 21! But I’m interested to know how people navigate them?

I don’t want to know the nitty gritty, but just how it happens, whether there’s awkwardness? Or certain feelings before/after like nervousness or regret?

I dunno really!

I promise I’m not the media!

OP posts:
PingedPotato · 20/11/2021 19:23

Helps if you're pissed

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/11/2021 19:27

They can be fun or they can be crap. Depends how drunk you are, how good they are in bed, whether you wake up the following morning and realise they live in Morden and you’ve got to somehow get yourself home to Hackney to meet your friends for brunch within the hour etc etc.

I’ve personally never been either nervous or regretful, but those aren’t emotions I channel in many situations generally.

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:27

@PingedPotato

Helps if you're pissed
Haha! That’s fair enough!… But you’re not pissed the morning. Is it awkward then?

I only have the romcom films to go by 🤣

OP posts:
MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:28

@ComtesseDeSpair

They can be fun or they can be crap. Depends how drunk you are, how good they are in bed, whether you wake up the following morning and realise they live in Morden and you’ve got to somehow get yourself home to Hackney to meet your friends for brunch within the hour etc etc.

I’ve personally never been either nervous or regretful, but those aren’t emotions I channel in many situations generally.

Thanks! I feel like I’m missing/ or missed out!! Midlife crisis looming maybe?!
OP posts:
user0176 · 20/11/2021 19:29

Depends how drunk you are, how good they are in bed, whether you wake up the following morning and realise they live in Morden and you’ve got to somehow get yourself home to Hackney to meet your friends for brunch within the hour etc etc.

Sounds like something take straight out of a SATC script..!

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/11/2021 19:30

I don’t think Charlotte York would even dream of going to Morden.

user0176 · 20/11/2021 19:33

Perhaps not Charlotte Grin

Mammyloveswine · 20/11/2021 19:35

Best one night stand I had, my mate was shagging his mate in the hotel room next door... we both left shortly after doing the deed 🤣🤣 said thanks and bye to the blokes and off we went home!

Worst was a bloke who actually I did quite like, we had a bit of build up (texting) before hand, the sex was pretty good but the next morning was so awkward I could've cried. It was like we were both actively avoiding each other!!

Oh one lovely bloke i fell asleep before we did the deed. I woke up fully dressed still! He made me a cup of tea then drove me home!

One bloke I woke up and he was gone and I have no idea how he got out of the house 🤣🤣 I was staying with my mate and she had the keys in her room! I assume he climbed out of a window Grin

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/11/2021 19:36

Thanks! I feel like I’m missing/ or missed out!!

I can’t say whether you’ve missed out or not. My life has been a rich tapestry and I’m glad I did everything the way I did. But I can’t think of a ONS I’ve had (even some of the best ones) and think I would have missed out on some way had I not had it; more that in composite, they’ve all been what’s been a pretty joyful existence.

If that makes sense.

Theturnofthepoo · 20/11/2021 19:37

Can be mildly depressing

BirdyBirdyTweetTweet · 20/11/2021 19:37

Awful.'

Megan1992xx · 20/11/2021 19:38

I made a vow never to have one but unfortunately often with a bit too much to drink and you go with the flow! The worst part is the walk of 'shame' in the morning. As well as the trip to get the morning after pill if you need it.

You haven't missed anything!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 20/11/2021 19:39

I’ve had some fabulous ONS and some crap ones.

CharlotteRose90 · 20/11/2021 19:41

I’ve had a couple and sadly I’ve regretted them afterwards. Always made me feel dirty. It’s fantastic at the time but the walk of shame the next day is awful. You haven’t missed much haha

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:42

@Mammyloveswine

Best one night stand I had, my mate was shagging his mate in the hotel room next door... we both left shortly after doing the deed 🤣🤣 said thanks and bye to the blokes and off we went home!

Worst was a bloke who actually I did quite like, we had a bit of build up (texting) before hand, the sex was pretty good but the next morning was so awkward I could've cried. It was like we were both actively avoiding each other!!

Oh one lovely bloke i fell asleep before we did the deed. I woke up fully dressed still! He made me a cup of tea then drove me home!

One bloke I woke up and he was gone and I have no idea how he got out of the house 🤣🤣 I was staying with my mate and she had the keys in her room! I assume he climbed out of a window Grin

The first one’s insane! I love such a sheltered life! The last one sounds like it’s come right out of a romcom!
OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 20/11/2021 19:43

I ended up marrying mine and we've been together 30 years Shock

Megan1992xx · 20/11/2021 19:43

Walk of shame so true carrying your heels in one hand with barefoot and hair all dishevelled!

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:43

@ComtesseDeSpair

Thanks! I feel like I’m missing/ or missed out!!

I can’t say whether you’ve missed out or not. My life has been a rich tapestry and I’m glad I did everything the way I did. But I can’t think of a ONS I’ve had (even some of the best ones) and think I would have missed out on some way had I not had it; more that in composite, they’ve all been what’s been a pretty joyful existence.

If that makes sense.

Yeah, I know what you mean! I think it’s more the feeling of living a sheltered life
OP posts:
GiltEdges · 20/11/2021 19:44

My relationship with DH began as a ONS when we were both at uni. Met while incredibly drunk in a bar and ended up going back to his shared house. It was fun, not awkward at all and I didn't regret it the next morning despite not knowing at that point whether I'd ever see him again. I suppose there was just a natural chemistry there, so we chatted the next day as if we'd known each other for ages. He even made me breakfast in bed Grin I'm sure it's not always like that, so counted myself lucky and never did it again!

Famousinlove · 20/11/2021 19:44

To summarise in one word: underwhelming

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:45

@CharlotteRose90

I’ve had a couple and sadly I’ve regretted them afterwards. Always made me feel dirty. It’s fantastic at the time but the walk of shame the next day is awful. You haven’t missed much haha
How long does that ‘dirty’ feeling stay with you?
OP posts:
Amberflames · 20/11/2021 19:45

I had a few back in the day, but only ever with people I already knew. I recall one was a massive disappointment. The sexual tension had been building up for a while but the sex was just terrible. No spark at all. It’s not affected our friendship at all though and we’re still in the same friendship group. Another was with someone I really fancied and the sex was great but didn’t go anywhere.

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:46

@Famousinlove

To summarise in one word: underwhelming
Thanks! I’m getting the feeling I’m not missing much 😀
OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 20/11/2021 19:48

@MsWalterMitty probably a day if that haha

Amberflames · 20/11/2021 19:48

How long does that ‘dirty’ feeling stay with you?

I actually think this is more booze related than anything. It’s the well known fear you get with a hangover even when you’ve been perfectly well behaved.

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