What are one night stands like?

[MsWalterMitty]

I’m 38 and never had a one night stand! To be fair I’ve been with dh since i was 21! But I’m interested to know how people navigate them?

I don’t want to know the nitty gritty, but just how it happens, whether there’s awkwardness? Or certain feelings before/after like nervousness or regret?

I dunno really!

I promise I’m not the media!

As indicated above, not all ONS last just one night. My sister had what she thought was a "one off stand" when she met someone at a mutual friends wedding in an hotel. It wasn't even one night. They had only known each other a couple hours and slipped upstairs, I think her hormones were bubbling. They have been married years.

Awesome story and congrats to you :)

They can be an awesome way to express ourselves, meet needs and share something special with a charming stranger. I’ve had the best sex of my life with ONS!

They’re not for people those that equate sex with commitment or emotional attachment, I guess.

When I was single I simply approached whomever I fancied and told them so.
No awkwardness. No inhibitions. We went home, did the deed, and usually told each other the story of our lives.

Love this! And this bit is spot on:

They can be an awesome way to express ourselves, meet needs and share something special with a charming stranger.

Some of my ONSs are still (platonic) friends!

And an even bigger bastard of a journey back to Hackney.

I've had some fabulous ONS, don't regret anything. I'm not a drinker so drunkenness doesn't come into it.

Yes, this! I can do sex without any emotion involved though, which I understand many women can't.

The worst was when my friend had one and I was in a relationship. We did sort of know the guys from school but I had to go with her as didn't want anything bad to happen to her. His housemate who we also knew let me borrow his bed and he took the sofa but I could just hear them shagging all night 😂

I'm 44 and I've never had a ONS either. Had 2 lovers, just separated from husband and feeling like I wish I'd had some fun when I was younger. A friend of a friend had over 20 ONSs in a year, I can't imagine having one but at times I just feel like doing it if there was mutual attraction there. Not that I ever meet anyone!

Yes to this. Not all ONS have to be one-nighters, even if you intended them to be; but nor do they have to be a Hollywood finale.

This is gonna be a long post, but I’ll tell it anyway!

Among my ONS successes I count Ty from NYC, who popped up in my Tinder stack as a match when I swiped him one Thursday back in 2016 when he happened to be in London on a business trip. He sent me a message almost immediately after we matched: a very nice hello and a comment on the motorbike I was riding in one of my photos. I still remember his profile: “I travel the world with my job, and evenings on your own in an unfamiliar city quickly loses its charm. Looking to meet adventurous, interesting locals for some tall cocktails and long stories. NB: this is not code for a hookup or ONS.”

Well, I thought that was totally code for a hookup or ONS - and he was really pretty, and I was up for one; so I responded.

We did indeed have an evening of tall cocktails and long stories. And another the following evening, ending in his hotel room bed. And then I thought, “why not?!” when the morning after he said he’d like me to come visit him back home. Booked flights, went out to stay with him for a week a month later.

I think the crucial thing I always point out when I tell this story is that I didn’t go to visit thinking it was the start of a tale of “star crossed lovers, we’ll fall in love and overcome the distance”. I went with no expectations other than that I’d get to know somebody cool better, that I’d never been to NYC before and it would be great to have a local to guide me around, and I figured if in the unlikely event I arrived and realised we didn’t get on at all then, well, I’d be in one of the greatest cities in the world for a few days and I’d just find myself a hotel somewhere and would certainly have an amazing time regardless.

You want to know the ending to the story?

We didn’t fall head over heels in love. We’re not a blissfully married couple a decade later. We realised that our careers and commitments and social lives weren’t compatible with a LDR. But we had a blast together all that week and I made a new friend (yes, definitely with benefits) in a new part of the world who still to this day I see a few times a year when he’s working in London and I go out to see him in NYC. And I’d not take that back for anything

The sex is generally shit coz you literally don't know what the other person likes and if you're drunk, it's probably with someone you wouldn't have gone for sober.

Never had one either. Don't fancy it. As for sheltered life didn't have a sexual.relationship till.mid 40s🤣

They were just something I did when I was young, attractive, and always drunk and excited on nights out. I don't remember any of them really now. None of them were great or memorable, just fun at the time.

Really surprised that some people remember theirs so well and have fond memories. I honestly can barely remember any of mine. They must have been really sh*t.

I do remember two recent ones, I didn't meet them on nights out, but on dating sites. So I had to chat to them first for a bit, so less anonymous I suppose. They were both a lot younger than me and both were awful. Really bad sex. One of them asked me to rim him. And the other one tried to give me oral but was so rough I was sore for days after.

Not meaning to derail the thread but I’d love to hear a bit more about your story if you were willing to share BCBird? I think having your first sexual relationship in your mid 40s would give some people hope that it can still happen!

❤️❤️❤️ Love everything about this!

The happy mature way to have good sex without strings.