What are one night stands like?

[MsWalterMitty]

I’m 38 and never had a one night stand! To be fair I’ve been with dh since i was 21! But I’m interested to know how people navigate them?

I don’t want to know the nitty gritty, but just how it happens, whether there’s awkwardness? Or certain feelings before/after like nervousness or regret?

I dunno really!

I promise I’m not the media!

Overrated! I'm old and been married 20 years, but I had a couple before I met DH.

They are fun, in the sense of being swept away in the moment and being all sexy and rebellious with a virtual stranger. But tbh, once a man is naked with his knob out and trying to take you from behind rather foolishly, all you can think about is getting your knickers back on so you can go home for a cup of tea.

Someone said it already, connected sex with someone you love is way more mind blowing!

I also never felt dirty, there's nothing wrong or dirty about sex.

I have had quiet a few over the last 5 yrs. A few have not lived up to the hype but on the whole fantastic. Uninhibited sex with someone you are extremely attracted to in the moment. I rarely stay until the morning unless I'm up for a repeat performance. We both get what we want without any expectation.

Some underwhelming. Others pretty good.

One guy was so anal he had to fold up his clothes neatly on the chair before dtd. We did it about 4/5 times. I failed to orgasm. Another rather well endowed guy, I imagine with a porn habit or maybe drugs couldn’t cum. Gave up after about an hour and a half of pumping and me trying to get him to penetrate me as deeply as possible to help things along. Did suggest a repeat a few weeks later if I’d take it up the arse. No thank you wasn’t going to subject myself to that!

As I said upthread I’ve had a few but they’ve all been fairly uneventful (in a good way, as in nothing horrendously awkward or embarrassing) but this thread has reminded me of one of the most awkward ONS a friend told me she’d had.

She was living with her parents and met a guy and took him home. She tried to sneak him out in the morning but failed spectacularly and they bumped into her parents. Her parents were fairly relaxed and normally this wouldn’t have been a massive deal, except that what she hadn’t realised was that the guy she’d brought home was her dad’s (much younger) boss. So there was excruciating awkwardness all round.

I had a few, some of them were quite good and made sure I finished which I wasn't expecting

Although one of them lived quite far away and phoned his mum to come and pick him up, I dropped him off in a car park and made sure I parked between cars so she didn't see me haha

Sometimes it's great.

Other times they can't get it up and somehow you agree to go on a date with him because you feel embarrassed for her. Then twenty years later you're somehow feeding him chunks of galaxy as he wears an eye mask with your children asleep upstairs. Life's funny like that.

In my experience they have been crap except one which was actually really good.
I find sex with a partner who connects with you and knows your body to be far, far better.
The problem is there is no universal ‘good in bed’ person. I think that’s wildly subjective and most of the time, being good in bed comes from getting to know your partner and what they like. Occasionally you can strike gold and meet someone who just instinctively knows or likes what you like but I’d say it’s pretty rare! You aren’t missing much OP!

Brilliant.

I've had some 'wow' ones to be honest.

Dull.

I’ve only ever had one. In 2001. Still trying to get rid of him

The only awkwardness I’ve felt the next morning is when I knew them. If I didn’t know them and thought I’d never see them again, I didn’t care at all! Just kicked them out and made myself a cuppa!

@JayAlfredPrufrock

If you married your ONS then it wasn’t a ONS.

Honestly it’s not hard to understand what a ONS is.

But in terms of the experience at the time, it was Though it later developed into something else, that was many years later and we weren't in a relationship in the immediate aftermath. In the same way as any other ONS described here, we were strangers.

@SickAndTiredAgain oh my god your poor friend and her poor dad!! 😂😂😂

Late 50's and never had one

Sometimes awesomely good fun, mostly fairly blah. In the 1970s, when I was young, I quite enjoyed them. If the sex was rubbish, one night was enough; when it was great, more followed, and if the sex was fab and the conversation deepened, then ... I was married. That sounds respectable, but I shagged some real duds.

I've had some cracking ONS but I've never hung around to see if breakfast in bed was on the menu. Once the guy is snoozing, I'm up, dressed and off home. No walk of shame for me, I always woke up in my own bed.

I did have one night with a man that didn't end in sex, he started quoting W H Auden to me and then we ran out of wine so I went home.

Can be amazing or horrendous.

It’s kind of like trying a mystery foodstuff that could be delicious, god-awful or anything in between.

DH began as a holiday romance on the rebound... next year we will have been married 30 years and together for 35 years. Every love starts with one night.

I had a ONS with a chap that turned into me never really going home, we got married the following year

Great for the most part. Sex, a bit of intimacy – usually quite a friendly experience and everyone likes a spoon – and hopefully a bit of a laugh. I’m still friends with some people I met as ONSs!

1. Not an unpleasant way to spend the evening (bloke I’d met that evening)
2. Awkward and one sided (friend of friend who was much more into me than I was into him)
3. The most romantic night of my life, which feels like it should be the start of a movie (old friend).

Had 1 in my 20s, hated it so much that I never repeated the experience. He was a nice guy and quite skillful but I was in a bad place, did it for all the wrong reasons and didn't enjoy it at all. Was embarrassed of myself for ages (not because I had an ONS, but for having it for wrong reasons).

I did have, and enjoyed, FWB that lasted almost a year. We're still really good friends and I never regretted it.