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Original poster

What are one night stands like?

168 replies

MsWalterMitty · 20/11/2021 19:21

I’m 38 and never had a one night stand! To be fair I’ve been with dh since i was 21! But I’m interested to know how people navigate them?

I don’t want to know the nitty gritty, but just how it happens, whether there’s awkwardness? Or certain feelings before/after like nervousness or regret?

I dunno really!

I promise I’m not the media!

OP posts:
Larryyourwaiter · 20/11/2021 19:50

I misread Morden as Mordor, which would be a really terrible ONS.

Megan1992xx · 20/11/2021 19:50

Until you meet the next cute guy you fall for lol

BasicDad · 20/11/2021 19:53

Experienced a little shyness the morning after. Only time there's been awkwardness is when it's been at work drinks or party, especially if colleagues were aware. Conferences can be a bit awkward if it's over a few days and small.

I think it depends on how wild you get too. Bit of a fumble and vanilla and it's easy to grin about. Dialled up a bit, it can be a bit embarrassing.

Nothing beats connected sex in a loving relationship.

StarsAndSky0 · 20/11/2021 19:53

The only one I ever had was with a guy I was secretly in love with all through first year of uni, I was ecstatic from the point he kissed me then afterwards (whilst still in the 'afterglow', if you like) he turned to me and said, "I don't fancy you, don't get any ideas this is going anywhere."

Lovely chap! You're not missing anything, OP.

Izzadoraduncancan · 20/11/2021 19:55

Had one once but failed miserably. 6 kids and 25 years later - we are still mad about each other Blush

FourHigh · 20/11/2021 19:58

Don't know, I ended up marrying mine!

blissfulllife · 20/11/2021 19:58

Let's face it most men who are lucky enough to get a ons aren't really going to put much effort into it. Be a right waste of time

Ddraigmawr · 20/11/2021 20:01

I had a ons with a guy I shared a taxi with back to student halls from a party. A friend suggested we share, I hadn't spoken to him before that.

Instant animal magnetism.

Asked him up for 'coffee', pretended to chit chat for a bit then jumped into bed. Lush.

We did 'see' eachother for a few weeks after but neither was interested in a relationship so it didn't go beyond lots of amazing sex.

I've had a few others, some good some not so good. Never felt dirty because I don't see sex as shameful.

The sweetest one was with a guy I'd fooled around with a few times but never slept with, he was not that great in bed but in the morning I just felt happy and my flatmate commented that I had a 'glow'. We never did anything again but stayed friends.

Worst one was with an ex boyfriend who knew that I still loved him, used me for sex and then ignored me the next day. Upside is that it burst my childish fantasy bubble about him!

The one I'll take to the grave was with my friend's younger brother... Only a couple of years younger and both adults when it happened but I'd rather she didn't find out I shagged her little brother!!

LostGirl7 · 20/11/2021 20:03

Where are you?

Maskless · 20/11/2021 20:03

ONS that seemed like a good idea before DTD turned out to make me feel like an unpaid prostitute afterwards.

Partly because the guys didn't make much effort, just did what they needed to get themselves off and didn't care about me.

I'd never do it again.

Juancornetto · 20/11/2021 20:04

Bit meh, you're not missing out. I see one of mine about town occasionally - where I live now is about 30 miles away from where we both used to live - awks...

LostGirl7 · 20/11/2021 20:05

Could be enlightening Flowers

JayAlfredPrufrock · 20/11/2021 20:05

If you married your ONS then it wasn’t a ONS.

Honestly it’s not hard to understand what a ONS is.

Killergigglebunnies · 20/11/2021 20:06

I had a few in my twenties. I owned my own house and made sure it was at mine to avoid the walk of shame or in my hotel room. Bye 👋🏼
T’was fun, off you go…

Twattergy · 20/11/2021 20:06

Fun in your 20s. Wouldn't fancy it beyond then. No regrets for those I had, some fun, some cringey.

SickAndTiredAgain · 20/11/2021 20:07

I’ve had a few, they can be fun, can be not. I never felt dirty afterwards, don’t see why I would, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

Furzebush · 20/11/2021 20:08

@user0176

Depends how drunk you are, how good they are in bed, whether you wake up the following morning and realise they live in Morden and you’ve got to somehow get yourself home to Hackney to meet your friends for brunch within the hour etc etc.

Sounds like something take straight out of a SATC script..!

It sounds exactly like something from my 20s, and I couldn’t be less SATC! I think I definitely got to the point of factoring in travel zones when considering in whether I really wanted to shag someone. Your Morden person must have been sex on legs,@user0176. Grin
Furzebush · 20/11/2021 20:10

@blissfulllife

Let's face it most men who are lucky enough to get a ons aren't really going to put much effort into it. Be a right waste of time
A right waste of time for whom? And aren’t the women equally ‘lucky’, assuming both parties want sex?
Ddraigmawr · 20/11/2021 20:11

Sad to see so many bad experiences ...

I've had some awesome, really exciting ONS. I loved the no strings attached-ness of it all (apart from my crummy ex which I guess was technically not a ons even though we'd broken up months before).

I've also spent the night with guys but not actually had sex, just loads of kissing and foreplay. That's always been nice.

Jumpking · 20/11/2021 20:12

One was awkward. He was properly being nosey on my bedside table, which really put me off him.

Another was too out of shape.

The rest have also been disappointing.

The few guys I've picked up, the majority seem to have had too much coke to get it up and when we wake up in the morning, it just feels a bit like you should have sex then, cos you didn't the night before.

One guy didn't even know my name in the morning. I found this amusing!

JunoMcDuff · 20/11/2021 20:13

I've had great ones and meh ones. Only one awful one.

I try not to stay the night - prefer my own bed.

Sinner10 · 20/11/2021 20:14

Some good some bad. I had one at 19, the guy pursued me, he turned out to be 40! He was fit, good in bed and it happened numerous times over a few years. We both knew there was nothing in it but I think back now, I was 19!

Another time he was going back to his parents in the morning near me so we caught the bus back, me in last nights clothes, into town to change buses. WTF! I cringe now.

BrilliantBetty · 20/11/2021 20:15

I had one but it came from a place of desperation. I'd had my heart broken and just wanted to know someone would want to fuck me.

He was good in bed and showed me things I didn't know about! And drove me home in the morning. It was a distraction and didn't make me feel worse. But I was still heartbroken.

Bouledeneige · 20/11/2021 20:18

I had a couple back in the day. In my experience it wasn't terrible and it wasn't great. For me its better to have sex with a partner that you've got to know and understand each other's vibe, maybe some emotional connection and feeling (not all marital sex has this still). Even better passion and love.

It doesn't have to be a walk of shame - who's to judge? Sex is natural and normal.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 20/11/2021 20:20

I've had some great times! I don't really drink much, so not ever drunk 🤷