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Original poster

New partner's surprise

177 replies

Sunnycat · 19/11/2021 23:21

I have met this lovely guy off tinder and things have been going really well. Only problem is he's just told me he's a virgin!! He's 32 and real shy and he's says that he's never been in a position to do the deed. I'm 28 how do I approch this or do I just run now??

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 19/11/2021 23:25

Well, unless he had some weird preconceived ideas about sex (from porn for example) or was weird about sex in general, I'm not sure I'd mind particularly.

Notbornwithit · 19/11/2021 23:27

I suspect this is probably a line

samesign · 19/11/2021 23:33

Haha BS

oviraptor21 · 19/11/2021 23:34

I'm not sure many men would admit to being virgins so why would it not be true.

Justmuddlingalong · 19/11/2021 23:35

Does he seem shy, because that's a bigger indicator to me than saying he's shy.

Yummypumpkin · 19/11/2021 23:44

There's nothing to approach! It's not that unusual. It happens. Just proceed as with someone who isn't a virgin....I mean you don't need to do anything different.

Yutes · 19/11/2021 23:47

Only run if it’s a big deal for you that they have more experience.
Being a virgin doesn’t automatically mean a red flag

Original poster
Sunnycat · 19/11/2021 23:48

I do believe him as he was embarrassed even telling me and he would be quiet and shy in big groups so not one for one night stands.

OP posts:
lunarlandscape · 19/11/2021 23:51

If you like him, I don't see the issue. You might need to take the lead when you are both ready and help him overcome shyness the first couple of times but after a while it would be fine. You can teach him all the stuff you like and none of the stuff you don't!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 19/11/2021 23:56

If you like him then I wouldn't see it as a problem.

Be prepared to take the lead and that he might not know stuff you think is obvious. Eg my first time I had no idea you had to guide the guys dick in, I thought it found its own way like a heat seeking missile 😂

I would ask him the question though about what sort of porn he watches, and does he understand that its filmed in certain positions etc for audience entertainment, not because sex feels good that way?

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 20/11/2021 00:00

I once dated a guy who was a virgin, he was in his mid 30s.

I absolutely wouldn't again.

It wasn't the lack of sexual experience that was the problem, it was the lack of relationship experience.

All the mistakes I made as a teen in my dating years were the mistakes he was making now, it was a huge problem and we ended up splitting up after a few months.

Has your guy dated and had relationships? If he has then I would definitely give your relationship a chance, if not then I wouldn't wish to pursue it at all.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2021 00:08

There's shy and then there's repressed. I would be very concerned about his lack of relationship experience, and I would definitely be concerned about his emotional maturity. Tread carefully and don't waste any time if this isn't working for you.

Lostmyheart101 · 20/11/2021 00:14

As others have said, sex isn’t the issue but lack of relationships might be.

It can be frustrating as they do stupid things you learn not to in your late teens, twenty’s.

Original poster
Sunnycat · 20/11/2021 00:18

He's never been in a serious relationship and don't think he when out much even in normal times. ,Also think he's bit of a mummy boy as he grow up with no father figure, He's a real gentleman and always puts me first and is thinking of me

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 20/11/2021 00:21

Does he still live with his mum?

Yummypumpkin · 20/11/2021 00:22

You can just see how it goes. How he treats you, the connection between you, shared values and chemistry...

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 20/11/2021 00:23

@Sunnycat

He's never been in a serious relationship and don't think he when out much even in normal times. ,Also think he's bit of a mummy boy as he grow up with no father figure, He's a real gentleman and always puts me first and is thinking of me
I'll be honest, I wouldn't pursue this if I were you.

He may be a lovely guy, but there's a lot of differences in experience between you and its very likely to become an issue.

floppybit · 20/11/2021 00:31

Please don't run just because he's a virgin! It was really brave of him to confess and not just pretend, so if he's a nice guy please give him a chance!

me4real · 20/11/2021 00:35

This reply has been deleted

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littlefireseverywhere · 20/11/2021 00:35

If he treats you well & you like him, then carry on. Enjoy the new romance!

me4real · 20/11/2021 00:42

Well, unless he had some weird preconceived ideas about sex (from porn for example) or was weird about sex in general

@CheshireChat Someone who's still a virgin at 32 does not have a conventional attitude to sex or relationships, or they'dve lost their virginity ten or more years previously.

It's not that unusual.

@Yummypumpkin Only, like, 2% or less of men unusual.

Lollypop701 · 20/11/2021 00:47

Quite honestly if you want to, regardless of belief, do it! Doesn’t matter one way or the other. Just don’t pity shag him

vdbfamily · 20/11/2021 01:03

Honestly the comments on here are pretty offensive. My DH and I met in our 30's, were both virgins and have been happily married nearly 20 years. Some people lack opportunity. Some people want to wait for the right person. It really is not that weird.

vdbfamily · 20/11/2021 01:05

Some of the comments I mean

Summerfun54321 · 20/11/2021 01:18

Is he religious?