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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need to not message him

400 replies

toastedsandwiches · 04/11/2021 08:07

My DP and I split up yesterday. I'm utterly and totally head over heels for him.
We've been together a year and get on so well. We've had some us and downs.
We've both been massively hurt in the past by other people and can be defensive because of this.
It took a lot for me to let my guard down and throw myself into the relationship, but I did.

We had plans and stuff to look forward to. We talked about living together and getting married down the line. He made me feel loved, and happy and smile. I laughed till I cried. I felt special and content. He gave me support and listened.
I supported him, I gave him my time and we were having an amazing time.
So much in common and couldn't bared to be apart.

Then I got tonsillitis, I went to bed the day before yesterday in the afternoon. I saw a notification on my phone he posted something on Facebook- a joke - aimed at me - nothing nasty - I responded.
He called me an hour later saying he was on the way around. He was livid - I hadn't replied to his text he sent at the same time as the Facebook post.

I hadn't seen the text.

He's broken up with me over it.

OP posts:
Itsnotdeep · 06/11/2021 13:29

I cross posted. I could write a similar list. I'm sure everyone on this thread could. The highs are very high that's for sure.

toastedsandwiches · 06/11/2021 13:32

I'm not sure writing that's list was very helpful- I'm now thinking of how much he supported me.

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 06/11/2021 13:35

I wouldn't recommend listening to HG Tudor either, certainly not at least until you are well out of the narc's orbit. He uses his platform to groom people and cannot be trusted.

Dr Ramani is good though and has lots of videos you can browse through -

beastlyslumber · 06/11/2021 13:36

@toastedsandwiches

I'm not sure writing that's list was very helpful- I'm now thinking of how much he supported me.
Give us your list then, of all the times he's been supportive to you? Try to be specific and detailed.
beastlyslumber · 06/11/2021 13:40

Oh sorry, just saw you already posted.

Just read that again, and ask yourself, what has he actually DONE for you? His actions were the first list you gave. The second list are all his words.

Words, words, words. He's bombarded you with what you want to hear. But when it comes to his actions, he's actually treated you abysmally.

Actions speak louder than words. Anyone can say "you're beautiful." It means precisely nothing.

BirdyBirdyTweetTweet · 06/11/2021 13:40

I know you don't see it now but you will - you really really dodged a bullet. You don't want to be with someone that has such little esteem. Too hard work & draining.

Whatever you do, don't let him back in. He needs time out to work on himself.

And you need to not be worrying about the end of a relationship because you didn't reply to a text.

KintsugiForever · 06/11/2021 13:52

I had the same issue with leaving one thing at the house...for me it was a TV (we'd swapped as his place with the Forces was v small). Told him to take it when I ended it. He said a dozen times he was happy for me to keep it. Now I've gone no contact he sends emails endlessly about the damn TV and getting it. 😒 I see them in my spam which is where they go, now I just don't even look in my spam anymore.

JamieNorthlife · 06/11/2021 14:09

@toastedsandwiches

I'm not sure writing that's list was very helpful- I'm now thinking of how much he supported me.
OP, from your list it seems like you have low self-esteem issues and you are treating the little support you got from him as bigger than it is.
SortingItOut · 06/11/2021 14:19

Compare your positive list with the negative list because I see a lot of things on both lists.

He liked how intelligent you were but got angry if you used words he didn't understand.

He said how great you were doing leaving your ex and how to cope when you saw him but got annoyed about your previous relationships.

He gave with one hand and took with the other.

beastlyslumber · 06/11/2021 14:20

@toastedsandwiches

He was warm and caring He was encouraging and made me feel special He was charming and treated everyone he met so nicely and kindly He told me I was beautiful He'd do little jobs around the house, unprompted He'd never let me do things without helping He'd insist I make decisions for myself about how and what I wanted to do He would buy me little gifts he knew I'd like - got no reason He'd consult me on everything He'd listen to me moan about stuff He'd ask about my day and listen properly He was encouraging me to see my family and friends and always funny with them He tell me how intelligent I am He'd ask my opinion on things and listen to my opinion He made no judgment on my sleep walking - due to DA from my ex He made me stand tall when I saw my ex and told me to never look down He told me I should never lower my head to anyone as I was worth so much more He told me I wasn't one in a million I was once in a lifetime He asked me to marry him He said he was proud to be with me He said I made him happy He told me he was contented and felt special He said I was brave and capable He said he learnt so much from me He said I didn't deserve anyone to make feel so bad like my ex He said I was the kindest person he had ever met
He was warm and caring - He broke up with you when you only answered one of his two messages sent at the same time. Have you got any examples of his warm and caring behaviour?

He was encouraging and made me feel special - He dumped you when you were ill and ignored your messages.

He was charming and treated everyone kindly - except for you, he dumped you when you didn't jump to his commands. Anyway, he has to be charming, so people won't believe you when you tell them what a cruel and controlling dickhead he is.

He'd do little jobs around the house, unprompted - Around your house? What sort of little jobs? Did you want them doing, and did he ask if it was okay with you?

He'd never let me do things without him helping - He wouldn't let you do anything for yourself. He wanted you to feel dependent upon him. Controlling.

He told me - lies

He said - lies

SortingItOut · 06/11/2021 14:24

You put that he listened to you moan about stuff but in your negative list he didnt like you talking about work stress.

He let you make your own decisions ..except when you tried to ask him could you wear a pair of shorts and when he called your boots slut wellies

ChargingBuck · 06/11/2021 14:42

[quote toastedsandwiches]@FetchezLaVache just off the top of my head[/quote]
Yes OP - but everything you wrote is what people should be expecting in healthy relationships too. Ones where the good parts are not all turned to dust because the bad parts are so terrible.
One day, you can have all those good things, & give them back in turn, as a matter of course, from a decent, respectful loving partner.

He told me I should never lower my head to anyone as I was worth so much more

Ha ha ha. This is the same man who demanded that you write "i love you" on Every. Single.Text.
The man who got enraged when you didn't instantly respond to his texts.

What was that, other than a command to lower your head to him? Take his orders? Do what you're told, or else?

Flowers
FinallyHere · 06/11/2021 14:54

but I almost want it

Textbook trauma bonding. You will get through this and life will get better, so long as you keep yourself away from him.

Good luck

ExcitedtoTry · 06/11/2021 15:12

He sounds truly awful OP but that doesn’t lessen the pain you feel now. It will help you look back with absolute relief though.

I’ve been through similar & recommend you write him a letter. Don’t send it. This is NOT about his opinion or making him understand. He won’t. And he is irrelevant now. You are relevant.

Time to focus on processing this and getting over it for you.

Finally, congratulations on being free of this terrible person. You’re free to move on and find true happiness.

RockinHorseShit · 06/11/2021 15:50

He was warm and caring
He was encouraging and made me feel special
He was charming and treated everyone he met so nicely and kindly
He told me I was beautiful
He'd do little jobs around the house, unprompted
He'd never let me do things without helping
He'd insist I make decisions for myself about how and what I wanted to do
He would buy me little gifts he knew I'd like - got no reason
He'd consult me on everything
He'd listen to me moan about stuff
He'd ask about my day and listen properly
He was encouraging me to see my family and friends and always funny with them
He tell me how intelligent I am
He'd ask my opinion on things and listen to my opinion
He made no judgment on my sleep walking - due to DA from my ex
He made me stand tall when I saw my ex and told me to never look down
He told me I should never lower my head to anyone as I was worth so much more
He told me I wasn't one in a million I was once in a lifetime
He asked me to marry him
He said he was proud to be with me
He said I made him happy
He told me he was contented and felt special
He said I was brave and capable
He said he learnt so much from me
He said I didn't deserve anyone to make feel so bad like my ex
He said I was the kindest person he had ever met

How soon into the relationship did this sort of behaviour start, right at the beginning, or after months & months of slowly getting to know each other ?

I could write a very similar list about my last & earlier EA relationships. It was all there within the first few months, that's the hook they get you with. They show you a perfect version of what they've gleaned you'd want in a man & even if they aren't really your type & you weren't initially sure, as was the case with my last one, they win you over, they do that even more so if they look like a catch to you too. Unfortunately non of it real though, once you spot it, or have it shown to you, that you start remember the subtle nervous symptoms that went with it, subtle give always that it was an act... a good example with my last one...

I would have added well dressed & stylish in a certain genre to my list & that was important to me... he was... I later found out that he found out I worked in fashion & went to a personal shopper & spent a ton of money to impress me... 6 months after conning me to move in, he was a scruffy dirty fecker, unless going out with me to clubs where I met him ... he'd embarrass the hell out of me at times turning up at my work in a big fashion design company, looking like a tramp... it became another control thing

I'd made it known after the BF before him that I wasn't interested in getting involved with any creative types again, especially not musicians... I met & was wooed by a down to earth builder... I ended up with a cocklodging guitarist & con man

He was great around the house too...until he got his feet under the table

He asked me to marry him... got as far as the elaborate staged proposal & ring ... when he got his feet under the table he frequently used this to undermine my confidence... I want to marry you, but I don't like XYZ all perfectly reasonable things for me to do & non negotiable it's putting me off etc etc... tried to make me believe I was getting fat... can't get married till I lost weight etc... it didn't work as I was a size 8 & tall enough to carry it, but I was left thinking WTAF

He did all of those things on your list & more ... until he got his feet under the table

However much it hurts now... & it does because he's done a number on you big time. You've sussed him out early in his game & you know you need to do this & you CAN. The brain chemicals involved literally mean you have chemical withdrawal symptoms now, but it will pass & you'll back & know 100% it was a lucky escape

pictish · 06/11/2021 16:35

No narc or abuser is awful all the time…if they were, everyone would quickly up and go.

toastedsandwiches · 06/11/2021 19:01

I seem to have forgotten how to be myself
Or what I used to do with my time.

I've been out to a friends which was nice - but my mind is still whirling all the time.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 06/11/2021 20:06

I've been out to a friends

Good start @toastedsandwiches

Keep doing what you can. It will get easier the more you do.

NotaCoolMum · 06/11/2021 20:11

I’m sure Ted Bundy was lovely sometimes! It means nothing @toastedsandwiches!! He’s a bastard- end of story. You’re much better off without him

toastedsandwiches · 07/11/2021 05:23

This still isn't letting up. Still feeling wretched.
Still want to see him. Still want to call.

What am I meant to do? I can't keep this up. I feel permanently sick, shaking, can't eat or sleep.

The card still there. I have his stuff. Not heard a word about that.

I know he's not interested.

He literally lives 5 minutes away from me - there's no excuse not to get his car. He doesn't do anything all weekend.

Now wondering if he's ok?

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 07/11/2021 05:25

Find a distraction. That's not thinking about him. He's fine. He's just playing a game of who will break first. And he wants to make sure it's you. He is not a fundamentally good person. He's a game player.

SortingItOut · 07/11/2021 05:36

You are grieving for what you thought the relationship was and the future you thought you had.
Embrace the grief, how ever you are feeling is right for you.
Google the 10 stages of grief and see where you are and whats to come.
Once you've got through this you'll wonder why you spent so long agonising over him, it's hard right now but you only have to do it once.

Nothing has happened to him, he's waiting for you to crack first and message.

SortingItOut · 07/11/2021 05:39

Its interesting that you've forgotten what you used to do before him, when you met him you let him consume your whole life which isn't healthy.
A partner should enhance your life and not be your life.

On your positive post you mentioned he encouraged you to see friends and family but at the start you mentioned you were together 6 out of 7 nights so although he encouraged family and friends it was actually all on his terms because he took up 90% of your time (even when you worked he took up a lot of headspace due to the texts/calls at regular times all day)

toastedsandwiches · 07/11/2021 05:44

@SortingItOut I did crack first - he didn't respond.

OP posts:
toastedsandwiches · 07/11/2021 05:47

@SortingItOut - to be fair we got together just before 3rd lock down - I hadn't really been seeing people before the December 2019.

But it's still a struggle.

Yes, he encouraged me to see people. It was by both of our choices to spend the time together.

OP posts: