Feeling abandoned bc hub is away

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Hubby is going away for two weeks overseas for work. I’m five months pregnant with a toddler DD too. Feeling resentful that he gets to travel and I’m stuck at home babysitting and cleaning. Also feeling abandoned bc will miss one of the prenatal appts and now I have to manage the whole house alone. Want to give him silent treatment while he’s away. (Yeah I know it’s immature, and I should be grateful for time alone…). Advice to make this easier? TY

It was also 4am- I have certainly felt irrational and hopeless at 4am.

Sometimes life feels really hard. Others will always have it harder but it doesn't mean that you can't struggle at that time.

@ufucoffee

Also OP try being married to someone in the Army. They go away for months at a time.

To be fair we don't know what OP's husbands job is. It doesn't come across like this is a regular occurrence, whereas if you marry someone in the army you know exactly what you're signing up for.

Grow uo, at least your husbands coming back, mines not.

It really is like a race to the bottom here isn't it.

You need to grow up and stop acting so entitled for a start and you can't babysit your own child dear it's called parenting. But I would make sure this child is the last if I was you because you don't sound like mother material at all .

@Inthesameboatatmo

You need to grow up and stop acting so entitled for a start and you can't babysit your own child dear it's called parenting. But I would make sure this child is the last if I was you because you don't sound like mother material at all .

It's really a shame that 'marriage and kids' is so strongly pushed as the key to happiness. A lot of women, probably myself included, just aren't cut out for it. It just seems like drudgery to me. Endless boring housework, squabbling children who won't do as they're told, the monotony of being around young children all day. It seems like women almost always get the short straw with all of this boring, thankless work, even if they're also trying to keep a career going. And still so many women feel it's the be all and end all to get married and have a family.

Christ, is there any need to take out one's own anger and bitterness at one's own situation on the OP?

Yes, many, so many, tragically, have it worse.

That doesn't mean she can't feel pissed about the hand she's currently dealt, in comparison to her DH. She's said she's not going to take it out on him. To me, she's sounding fairly mature for how she's acknowledged how she's feeling, how she automatically wanted to react, looked at it, realised that's not a sensible way to react, and ideas for how to deal with the situation.

She's doing 50+ hours, has a toddler, is pregnant, it's not exactly as if she's complaining that she's going to have to drop a coffee date because hubby's off to travel for work.

@mbosnz

Christ, is there any need to take out one's own anger and bitterness at one's own situation on the OP?

Yes, many, so many, tragically, have it worse.

That doesn't mean she can't feel pissed about the hand she's currently dealt, in comparison to her DH. She's said she's not going to take it out on him. To me, she's sounding fairly mature for how she's acknowledged how she's feeling, how she automatically wanted to react, looked at it, realised that's not a sensible way to react, and ideas for how to deal with the situation.

She's doing 50+ hours, has a toddler, is pregnant, it's not exactly as if she's complaining that she's going to have to drop a coffee date because hubby's off to travel for work.

You honestly think considering giving him the silent treatment is acting maturely?

Because I think the OP should a massive level of unreasonableness and immaturity.

Can you imagine how much more of a beating a man would've got if he posted that he'd considered giving his wife the silent treatment for doing her job?

I think considering giving him the silent treatment, and then acknowledging and accepting that this is unacceptable is acting maturely. She reacted in the moment, thinking she'd like to do this because she was so pissed off, then reflected, and perceived that this was not okay.

I don't care what the genders are, being pissed off, thinking 'I so want to react like this' and then thinking on, and realising 'actually, yeah, nah, that's not okay', is acceptable to me. She didn't act upon the first, visceral, reaction.

@mbosnz if you read the OP it states she wants too, she acknowledges it's wrong but she still wants to.

After she was handed her arse on a plate, for total immature and unreasonable behaviour, she changed her mind.

@mbosnz also babysitting your own child. How utterly ridiculous! That shows another level of total immaturity.

You have a lot on your plate, have you told your OH you feel a bit overwhelmed by the situation? At least if he knows how you're feeling he can be supportive and do what he can even if he can't change it.

I'd feel resentful too OP, whenever my OH has gone away for work he's been wined and dined and very well looked after - then brought his washing back to me. Can you get a little break away for yourself while he has dd when he gets back - even if it's just for a weekend, in a hotel just chilling out and relaxing?