Dating thread 216 ... spooky fun in cuffing season

[BelladiMamma]

Hi everyone

Can someone else please copy and paste the rules as my screenshot is crap 💩

Wear a tight spangly black jumpsuit out once, read people’s truly horrified expressions, never ever do it again

..and I thought I looked great in it, but apparently others didn’t

Don't think men overthink or overanalyse or care about or judge women's motivations and sexual behaviour the way women will - "is she physically attractive and easy company available to meet?" is about as much analysis as they go.

I’d like to say this is wrong, but it’s about right TBH 🤷🏼‍♂️, sorry

@Eesha

I don't think the escorts is the issue, but agree it is very indiscreet/clunky/socially unskilled talking about other meets (in that much detail) with someone else!

Like if they're telling me about someone else, then what are they telling other people about me?

I had a good date zero a few weeks ago but was on the fence with attraction although he was very keen on me,

He messaged to say he had "given a debrief on the date to some female friends" and that was a red flag tbh for me, I don't want to be discussion fodder for all these "female friends" (who probably are women he's met on the apps who have friendzoned him...).

@VanGoghsDog not paying them no. But I just thought its interesting how times have changed with escorting as people are less embarrassed to admit it.

[quote Eesha]@SpringlikeBunk one was proudly telling me he met a woman on Bumble who was 600 a night. He had been on a few dates with her, normal ones but googled her picture as was a bit dubious, then found she was an escort. I was thinking though, 600 a night! Yikes!!![/quote]
Ah, maybe they see that as her "value". Which is ghastly. (I was going to put "gross" but thought people might think I was referring to her tax status!)

I’m sure escorts like to have a social life and date people that actually like, and not just go out with someone because they are being paid to, but quite how someone could separate those 2 elements I don’t know

@SpringlikeBunk but surely this thread is all about debriefing dates to friends???

@Eesha

I think I'd be uncomfortable with the men talking about it as it's just a bit "indiscreet" and attention-seeking and going to be a slightly weird uncomfortable conversation all around?

It's up there with the "crazy-ex" anecdotes.

It doesn't reflect well on the bloke (so he's telling you he is looks-orientated) and also possibly someone with poor boundaries and social judgement.

I mean are you then meant to go "I'm a woman of virtue who pays exactly 50% of every date?"

[quote JustThisLastLittleBit]@SpringlikeBunk but surely this thread is all about debriefing dates to friends???[/quote]
Yeah. But you don't tell people about it.

I discuss dates with friends. I don't then tell the date I "did a debrief".

And Bunk is right, these "feeeemale friends" are probably just dates that didn't work out.

It's an anonymous thread as well so no-one is identifiable.

I don't have any issue with people having friends/male and female/even dates that didn't work out/talking about dates with their friends.

the issue is more poor social boundaries and drama potential. if someone doesn't want a second date with me, that's cool, just drift or say it?

Saying "I've contacted my female friends and they say yes or no and have given their approval or not" is just pure ick.

So after my procrastination I bit the bullet and messaged Mr Cricket. Just a nice chatty how are you, what have you been up to with your daughter type message. Showing an interest in his life again. I used to do these over the summer and always asked how cricket went or wished him luck with cricket (in fact his cricket messages got me interested in cricket and I started watching it a bit as he used to explain it to me).

You know what he read it straight away. Hopefully it brought a smile to his face.

For those of you having protected sex with dates/partners, do they have any issues orgasming when using condoms? (E.g. finding it impossible?) I’d be interested in male perspectives on that too.

@Stayingstrongish

I've heard that before, just stick to "no glove no love" and if they want to get tested they can? My ex-iron MrC got postal tests for his first day back off working offshore.

It may be an awkward conversation and tbh I felt really awkward instigating it, but just go for it and you'll feel better afterwards.

60% of my wardrobe from Topshop (RIP.. I must have spent thousands in that shop since the age of 15 😭) now mostly Zara! With a bit of designer thrown in (mostly Kenzo)
And a penchant for unavailable men!

Lol @VanGoghsDog at her tax status 🤣🤣

Just had a mammoth catch up for the last few days as been so busy since Sunday and my brother's wedding.

I was shocked to see this comment from @FireandBrimstone - I must admit I do like to get a sense of what someone's job is as an early part of 'screening' but - as someone taking a lot of pride right now out of reestablishing my financial independence - it's not to assess their financial position as much as to get a sense of whether I'll be able to relate and converse with them. I'm aware that might sound judgemental and snobby and not really meant to - but it is what it is

This is 100% snobby and judgemental and the last time someone posted something similar she went off with a flea in her ear.

I'm not sure why someone in the 'wrong' job won't be able to converse with you or you relate to them.
You also mention financial independence, presumably you assume if they are in the 'wrong' type of job they may not have much money.
You are wrong on so many counts.

Thanks for the new thread @BelladiMamma 😁

Roll call from me. Still have Bumble snoozed, spent the day mostly in bed with Mr Breadcrumbs last Saturday and scheduled to do the same this Saturday. We are also having a lunchtime cinema trip, so timed to not interfere with time in bed for the rest of the afternoon.

It feels very much about the sex right now. That's OK with me for now tbh. I fancy the pants off him but he's also very easy to be with outside of the bedroom. Still not sure where it's going so just living in the moment 🙂

@Stayingstrongish Some men claim that condoms desensitise things and so they struggle to orgasm. I'm not a man so not sure if its true but if this is the case why can't they finish another way....either on you (away from your vagina) or could you finish him with a hand job or blow job.
Men don't have to orgasm when having PIV sex.

@Stayingstrongish

For those of you having protected sex with dates/partners, do they have any issues orgasming when using condoms? (E.g. finding it impossible?) I’d be interested in male perspectives on that too.

I've had issues with guys not wanting to wear condoms. It's annoying tbh. Was one of the many factors in the demise of me and MrBear

[quote SortingItOut]@Stayingstrongish Some men claim that condoms desensitise things and so they struggle to orgasm. I'm not a man so not sure if its true but if this is the case why can't they finish another way....either on you (away from your vagina) or could you finish him with a hand job or blow job.
Men don't have to orgasm when having PIV sex.[/quote]
This also works ^ and the guys should be grown up enough to have a proper conversation full stop

@Languidleopard

Thanks for the new thread *@BelladiMamma* 😁

Roll call from me. Still have Bumble snoozed, spent the day mostly in bed with Mr Breadcrumbs last Saturday and scheduled to do the same this Saturday. We are also having a lunchtime cinema trip, so timed to not interfere with time in bed for the rest of the afternoon.

It feels very much about the sex right now. That's OK with me for now tbh. I fancy the pants off him but he's also very easy to be with outside of the bedroom. Still not sure where it's going so just living in the moment 🙂

😄❤️😄 sounds perfect

@SortingItOut thanks - so he was finding it hard to orgasm by other methods too, like oral/hand. He put it down to being single for a long time and feeling self-conscious, used to being on his own. Not sure if that was an excuse or not though!

@BelladiMamma & @SpringlikeBunk - thanks 😊

Guy doesn't have to orgasm either, one can just chill out and cuddle and chat shit if it's not happening there. No need to overfunction or feel responsible. Especially if it's a relaxed dating situation rather than a long term partner or husband.

@Stayingstrongish

For those of you having protected sex with dates/partners, do they have any issues orgasming when using condoms? (E.g. finding it impossible?) I’d be interested in male perspectives on that too.

Umm with out being too crude, they can certainly help make PIV last longer as long as you can keep an erection, as you get a bit less feeling. Not very romantic as you have to stop what your doing to put one on, also you need a decent light on to make sure it’s not inside out, also after you have finished you need to reach down and grab the rim to make it comes out as you withdraw.

If you go for “seconds”, that can be an issue as well as the bit less feeling can mean you can’t get there

Finally if your partner pulls out 3 or 4 condoms it can you feel a bit “pressured” to perform.

What’s it like for women when used condoms ?

btw I’ve used condoms for the last 10 or years, no problems, only once has one been left in a partner, hence the “reach”