Dating thread 216 ... spooky fun in cuffing season

[BelladiMamma]

Hi everyone

Can someone else please copy and paste the rules as my screenshot is crap 💩

@pinkfondu really not keen on that proposal please think carefully

If he's got the money to do that why doesn't he come to you?

Arranged 3rd date with Ms Lithuanian

Quirky coffee shop then art gallery then lunch. She sounds delighted at prospect.

Had I suggested this to Ms DropDeadGorgeous she would probably have been disgusted as it would have involved walking more than 100 yards in her heels.

Plan is to move Ms Lithuanian to girlfriend status and sever all ties with Ms DropDeadGorgeous.

"But plans can fall through, and they so often do"

[quote StartingAgain6369]@pinkfondu really not keen on that proposal please think carefully

If he's got the money to do that why doesn't he come to you?[/quote]
This - I think I'd feel bought.

I certainly wouldn't do it if I couldn't afford the trip myself, and if I couldn't afford a last minute ticket for the hell out of there to safety if things turned sour.

If he comes to you (by which, I mean near you, not at yours), not only does he have the cash, but he's showing he's making an effort. I'd prefer that.

@TobyEsterhase

Arranged 3rd date with Ms Lithuanian

Quirky coffee shop then art gallery then lunch. She sounds delighted at prospect.

Had I suggested this to Ms DropDeadGorgeous she would probably have been disgusted as it would have involved walking more than 100 yards in her heels.

Plan is to move Ms Lithuanian to girlfriend status and sever all ties with Ms DropDeadGorgeous.

"But plans can fall through, and they so often do"

Hoping it works out for you with Ms Lithuanian.

Don't let the plan of cutting out Mrs DropDeadGorgeous fall through. You know she's not drop dead gorgeous on the inside.

I'm so sure someone on this thread randomly went on a 5 day holiday with a relatively recent iron, can any of the other long termers remember?!
Difference I think was @pinkfondu that she'd already had a couple of dates with him. It's a big risk that you won't get on so famously in person.
@SortingItOutthats got to be the holy grail of relationship knowledge. Very interested to hear what therapist says if you don't mind sharing!
I'm having a really rough day today, and the weekend is stretching in front of me. Hope everyone is in a better mood with exciting plans!

@theworldsastage

I know that you are 100% right

I just WANT to believe that MsDDG deep down is a really nice person and that I can bring this out

But that is just a daft fantasy

God no! What if he’s a a nightmare and you’re stuck for a full weekend

Sorry that was for @pinkfondu

Thanks for the responses so far.

Yes there is a massive difference in incomes. I do have funds to pay for hotel/flights if things went wrong, would from savings rather than disposable funds.

Me going there comes from previous conversations and him wanting to show some places as Ive never been. We had vaguely talked about me visiting before but nothing was discussed about him paying I didn't even consider it would be anything other than me paying for myself.

Wouldn't be his house would be a hotel.

[quote StartingAgain6369]@pinkfondu really not keen on that proposal please think carefully

If he's got the money to do that why doesn't he come to you?[/quote]
I think I would agree with this,
If he has the money make him fly to somewhere closeish to you and stay sort of 40 to 50 miles away, if you don’t like him, you have all the options then

@Heartbeats0708, yes I remember someone on the thread being offered a few days away with someone she’d not long met. It was somewhere like Tenerife and from memory it was about a year ago. People were pretty taken aback but I don’t think she went after all, might have been stopped by Covid travel restrictions.
Sorry to hear that you are having a bit of a rough day x

Well there goes any plans I had for Sunday I've got the sky engineer coming out to sort my TV out between 8 and 5 so no gym, no walk, no breakfast in the park.

@pinkfondu that seems a bit too much too soon for me. You may not have the same connection in real life, he could be a complete weirdo underneath his great exterior.

Just about caught up... Fabulousfifty I'm glad you changed your name, but still about the age? I agree that Ms Business is not prioritising you and you deserve better.

Irons that just talk about themselves and ask not a single question - nerves is no excuse. You're a grown man, all you have to do is have a conversation with a woman. If you can't manage that, what else can't you do?

Weekend away with someone you barely know... no. It's weird.

Sorry I'm not tagging properly. I'm so cold with the heating on and under two blankets that my fingers barely work. Considering going back on the apps. Had a road trip adventure last night with a good male friend - road diversions both ways so about 4 hours driving in total, mostly in rural darkness. And grungy gig in dingy room after a dirty burger. Brilliant night, and it made me realise how much I love going on adventures and how much I miss the fun of hanging out with a chilled out, music loving, chatty and interesting bloke. Shame I don't fancy him at all. And him not me!

A man just called me Beautiful

“Your a beautiful man “…
Not really sure how to process that.

@Isitreallyme177, it’s shit when you get the old any time in this 12 hour window comment, hopefully you will be appointment number 1.

@FabulousMrFifty I'd take it as a compliment. I'm hoping for 8am as then I might be able to go to my gym class (I need a new box apparently as mine is old).

Quick check in from holiday - quite wish I had said to MrHedgehog I was away from phone signal!

Nothing bad or significant has happened , just I was quite looking forward to a phone break and “just checking in when home”,

but I’ve kind of had to do the whole “he’s seen I’ve read his message now I need to say hi back” and now it’s exchanging information and a bit

Think he was sussing out where I was last night or if I’d had to stay around and isolate before going?

And he’s said he’s probably going away himself for work next week.

I really need to be top of my game in terms of thinking about other things and it’s another thing to think about!

today I thought about sending some photos, and then they didn’t go through (probably a phone reception thing but of course one gets paranoid?).

As you were lovelies! (From a “need to breathe” Bunk).

@FabulousMrFifty

A man just called me Beautiful I had that once, tbh it's a bit of a weird one, definitely didn't like it, ladies are beautiful men aren't

So just checked and we started talking just over a couple months ago.

So is the consensus that if I were paying myself it's better?

@pinkfondu do you really want to pay for yourself out of savings ?

@pinkfondu

Agree I’d feel a bit uneasy - if you get on (and if there is connection) then why not keep on communicating and see if you can come up with an alternative plan? Meet halfway or see if you could do something on a shoestring.

Maybe if you pay for the travel basic costs for yourself (eg transport and cheap digs) he can get all the dating costs when you’re over?

I really don’t think it’s necessarily suggested with bad intentions - some people do have spare money and prefer to use it to make things run smoothly socially.

A woman at the gym a few weeks ago told me I have a lovely figure.

Men can certainly be beautiful.

I've been responding half-heartedly to lacklustre messages. A Tinder guy who seems keen but unfortunately a bit dim - asked me something like what I do as a job, I gave a bit of a long reply I suppose and he said he was sorry for all the questions (there was one question) and that he had obviously offended me. I said I wasn't offended, I was just answering, then all he said in response to everything I said was 'aw, I just want someone to cuddle up on the sofa with' (yawn). Then yesterday, I asked him how his day was and he said fine, tomorrow is Friday' I didn't respond, then today he said he was worried about me (!) and was I OK because I hadn't replied. I mean, what was there to reply to?
Anyway, he unmatched me. Probably wise.

A guy in the south west (I'm down there for a month from next week) has offered a date zero 'day' - I said "DAY?!" and now we've agreed coffee in Glastonbury, date tbc. I'm not that excited tbh.

I've got lots of matches on both Tinder and Feeld (cleared out Tinder of all previous matches, then started a new swipe session and got 7) but no chats on Tinder. Feeld they just talk about sex and if you mention anything non sex related they unmatch.

@pinkfondu, assuming that you are in the UK and he is in Ireland, how realistic is it that even if you meet and click you will be able to sustain something? I wasn’t wholeheartedly against the idea of travelling to see him but I’m very out of practice with the rigours of dating sites so I was thinking as it from more of a ‘ ooh a weekend in Ireland’ but of course others are thinking more sensibly about the whole meeting a stranger/ trip being paid for so what’s his motivation? / and not least what if you laid eyes on him and then had to endure a few days in his company if you didn’t fancy him. I think if you are going to go do it because you want the trip away and meeting him is part of that but not the sum total. We’ll alert @MayEye to be on alert as our Irish representative

I'd go to Ireland for a weekend on my own, and I'd meet a man for a date while there. But I wouldn't go for a weekend in Ireland with a man I'd never met and certainly wouldn't let him pay for me.

MrGlasto has confirmed he is married (I got suspicious of his availability and asked) so he's gone.

@pinkfondu this is the sort of crazy sh1t I would do, although I think the last spontaneous dirty weekend I had was with someone I already knew, and they came to me. Unless you count me going to meet MrA in London for a drink with casual sex as part of the understanding but also with the understanding that I could and would leave if the drink didn't go well. We snogged within about 30 minutes of meeting and it was genuinely fireworks 💥 and actually is still, 5 weeks later, a very intense connection. But I'm unusual in that I'll be up for things like that. I have a security plan which is 2 cousins who track where I am and one of them works in security. So I 'feel' safe, rightly or wrongly. Also the location where I met MrA, I had friends and family within walking distance. Can you have a friends and family back up plan? Anyone nearby that you know?

@VanGoghsDog I have obviously lucked out on Feeld because I get a lot of decent conversation. Or at least I cut the ones very quickly who are just about sex. I have conversations going on there at the moment about food, music, theatre and cinema. Maybe it's my catchment area? Also I don't put a lot on there about myself, just say I'm into the arts and interested in meeting another creative.

@Naimee87 the reason why he wanted to see my short story was because he is looking for new ideas to develop. So in my dreams we are already creating great art together 😁

I've had a great evening out with friends at my local bonfire night which round here is pretty special. Feel much calmer about everything and have had the usual stream of messages from him and we are sticking to the original plan for this weekend but no breakfast and quite possibly no sex (!) as he has so many lines to learn for the thing he's doing during the day. He's basically working each end of the day now, about 18 hours in total 6 days per week for the next 4 weeks. So the fact that we are seeing each other, even briefly, is a really good way to stay connected. Otherwise we wouldn't be seeing each other at all and I wouldn't know whether we still had a connection or not.

@VanGoghsDog

I'd go to Ireland for a weekend on my own, and I'd meet a man for a date while there. But I wouldn't go for a weekend in Ireland with a man I'd never met and certainly wouldn't let him pay for me.

MrGlasto has confirmed he is married (I got suspicious of his availability and asked) so he's gone.

That's a really good way of putting it.

In the bin MrGlasto, and good riddance