Did he initiate ? Does he ever comment that he’s frustrated with his busy schedule? Or does he show any awareness of your feelings or needs ? Not everything needs a label but what does he consider you to be to him?
Thank you for your post. I do feel a bit at sea here, on my own, in my house, with no-one to talk to!
So, he's "submissive" so he doesn't initiate. Also, we started meeting up for walks back last Nov and we had various lockdown rules etc to navigate, both have cev parents etc.
So, Val Day I happened (arranged!) to be nearby and asked if he was around, he asked me to his for coffee and presented chocolates and flowers. (I just assumed he did that for everyone).
April he came over one morning, fixed my router, brought all the makings and made pancakes with bacon, fruit, yoghurt, maple syrup, orange juice and croissants for brunch, and we had a walk. As he left he kissed me on the mouth, but scurried off. I was a bit in shock.
At some point he said if I'd like a submissive friend to come round and do chores, cook dinner and, if he's lucky give me oral sex, to just say. I did not respond (he later said he "bottled it" on making a further move because of my lack of response) because it was a bit of a complicated suggestion to me!
Obviously I just carried on texting a few days later.
Then the Covid rules lifted a bit and people could meet up, so I sent him a silly meme about it, he said "is that a demand?" I said yes and he found an evening to come over. He cooked, we went to bed, etc.
Then he was bringing flowers every time, and doing things for me, we went out to dinner,had take aways, watched comedy shows...... He sent texts saying to just say if I want to see him etc. But I don't feel there's any point "just saying" because I get these huge long copy pasta texts telling me all the things he's doing where he can't see me.
He says he "prefers the friends option because of his hectic life" says he "not good boyfriend material". I actually never gave a "friends option".
Then recently he's been away a lot (this is all genuine) and then the op which he has been sort of building up to.
He does seem a bit remorseful that he's so busy. Without going into too much dom/sub detail he does a few things that mean it is in his interests to see me!
He has zero awareness of my feelings or needs. To be fair, I've never told him I have any and I'm not great at knowing what they are myself. I suspect he only thinks in terms of sexual needs.
Re previous gf - I just heard from a mutual friend that he was seeing someone pre Covid and she wasn't keen on meeting during lockdown, and when they could meet the relationship petered out. I know he was on Tinder last summer so I'm guessing it ended after the first lockdown.
He himself told me he was "seeing a bit of someone in 2019 but lockdown ended that" (I was teasing him about his edible cock ring being out of date 😂)
I do want to talk it through with him, and I'd be able to if I felt I had his attention, but on the phone he's often clattering around doing other things, or he's listing off a million things he's supposed to be doing.
I don't want to be another chore on his to do list. I don't want it to just fizzle and be an "option". I'm scared he'll say it's too much if I do talk to him or he'll just back right off, but on the other hand I'm getting nothing out of it except irritation and a filled head right now!