Fallen out with whole family.

[PoppleZopple]

Hi. My mum is ill, I have a sister & a brother. We are all arguing & I just have to accept that this is it, don't I? I'm now completely on my own with my children, my siblings are no longer part of the picture. I'm nearly 40.

I feel so sad. We never saw each other all the time but special occasions, or if somebody needed help, house move etc. I think it was a fairly standard sibling relationship really.

But I'm still going to miss them.

I don't know what I want with this post really, just somebody to talk to. Does anybody want to talk? I've been crying for the last 3 hours & I just need to let it go don't I.

Sorry it's muddled, hopefully you get the gist.

picklemewalnuts The work thing & the phone number thing are both a positive aren't they! That's great. Your mum sounds difficult & yes groundhog Day is fitting isn't it.

I'd probably explain it differently if I was talking to a friend! But it's talking to professionals so I have to be polite really don't I... Sometimes they 'delve' a little bit & ask 'And how does that make you feel?' & then I'm 'Well how do you think it makes me feel?! You could say that I've lost my whole extended family because of this man, so I'm hardly going to be happy am I?!'

I’m so sorry. That absolutely sucks. What a bloody stupid mistake and a stupid man to believe it.

I’m heading to bed, so I’m not much use. It’s been a long couple of weeks with a narc mum. I’ve just delivered her home and am so relieved.

That’s a plan! Out of your head on to someone else’s plate to sort out. Absolute joke of them, honestly. Hope you sleep too!

Thank you picklemewalnuts, It just feels like the universe has said 'Just when you think your life can't suck any more, he's a whole load more crap for you to work your way out of'.

Lovely.

Hi picklemewalnuts On reflection, those posts from me yesterday weren't wise.

Thank you for the support though, as ever
I hope that you are able to have a nice quiet day today & recover from the last couple of weeks!

Onwards and upwards, @PoppleZopple ! May the new year bring you peace.

Hi @picklemewalnuts How are you doing?

I don't have a positive update to anything but still thought that I'd stay on the same thread.

Throughput 2025 I've had just a handful of comments from my mum 'I wish that you'd let the kids visit/I know that you won't let them come but I wish that you would/everything will be better for you all if you let the kids spend the day with me'... I ignored all of these.

So it was just me, but I went & had Christmas day with my mum, 'him', bro, sis & their families. It was fine. All civil.

Sis in law (which surprised me, as it felt a little like stirring the pot, & not what I'd expect from her) said to my mum 'It's been a long time since you've had all of your children for Christmas lunch, hasn't it?' (seriously, why even say it?!)

& My mum replied 'Yeah, I just need her (gesturing to me) kids. Next year I'm going to kidnap them'.

Which isn't a funny thing to say at any time but given the year I've had with regards to my ex & my children, it's just a ridiculous thing to say.

Grrr.

Hello @PoppleZopple ! Another year gone!
I’m sorry to hear nothing has changed for the better. I think the dreadful way your mum spoke, and your SiL stirred, are just more evidence of their unsuitability to be around your DC. They are using the DC as weapons against you.

By contrast you are protecting them from the manipulation of the others.
Have I misremembered, wasn’t she supposed to be ill? Was that an exaggeration?

I still have the narc mum as it’s Christmas. She’s behaved ok so far, though I will be ready for a rest when she goes (not sure how or when yet!). Mil is upset that DM gets to stay and she doesn’t. It’s not easy balancing everyone else’s needs.

Anyway, another year along. Hopefully a step closer to all the nonsense being resolved!

Hi picklemewalnuts Yes it's kind of crazy how it's been a year, isn't it! On the one hand, on the other hand it's been one hell of a long, slow year!

My SIL has never said anything to me/in front of me before, she's been neutral throughout, so it was surprising that she did this.

My mum is unwell & she has been unwell for a long time now. This is true.

Yours sounds difficult! Could you have both of them? (Or is that a ridiculous question?!) It is hard isn't it. Trying to keep other people happy but you can't please everybody!

I am glad to hear that yours hasn't been too bad, so far, though.