Is my bf taking advantage - finances

[Loui98]

Hi
I have moved in with my Bf. We had an agreement that he would give me £150 a week which would cover his share of rent/bills etc. Initially he was sticking to this but he’s gradually been reducing this, saying he has no money. He commutes and spends a lot on fuel. Yesterday he took my card and I told him to only use it in an emergency (ie if he’s running low on fuel) but I’ve had a look and he’s been spending my card on alcohol and other things and hasn’t come home tonight. He has also lost his phone so I had no way of contacting him so I messaged his friend who confirmed he had been drinking and was still in his city. He gets paid weekly and got paid yesterday and no doubt he will turn up later with some Lame excuse as to why he has no money when It’s been confirmed he’s spent mine and his money on alcohol.
Before he left for work yesterday he promised he would only use my card for fuel so I can’t believe he’s gone and used it for other things. He didn’t pay any rent or contribute towards food last week as he took a few days off work and didn’t get paid. It looks like this week he will contribute nothing either. I have already lent him cash which he’s not paid back. I feel like leaving him but I don’t know if this is OTT as he has previously been giving me money towards rent and bills and although he has been reducing it he will buy food from his own money from time to time…..

@BeggarsMeddle

And you have cancelled your card now OP, haven't you?

I believe she said she did. He tried to use the old card to buy cigarettes and when declined told her she was clever. Also t not trust him with the card again.

Unless I read incorrectly which is possible.

Starting to think OP just likes the drama and doesn’t actually care for this man. If she did she would aid him in his destruction.

*wouldn’t aid him in his destruction

Also the hamster thing was sickening to me. So cruel of him.

It’s a bit silly to say I like ‘the drama’. Why would I put myself in a financially vulnerable position (well in a vulnerable position altogether) for the sake of some ‘drama’?. The times I have been lenient towards him was genuinely because I felt sorry for him, was concerned about what would happen to him and so on & not because I enjoy ‘the drama’.
When people enjoy drama, it’s usually them that create it. I haven’t created any drama here, I didn’t give the father or the boss my number. The boss & the father are the ones who contacted me.

And yes, I have cancelled my card

@Loui98

It’s a bit silly to say I like ‘the drama’. Why would I put myself in a financially vulnerable position (well in a vulnerable position altogether) for the sake of some ‘drama’?. The times I have been lenient towards him was genuinely because I felt sorry for him, was concerned about what would happen to him and so on & not because I enjoy ‘the drama’. When people enjoy drama, it’s usually them that create it. I haven’t created any drama here, I didn’t give the father or the boss my number. The boss & the father are the ones who contacted me.

And yes, I have cancelled my card

It’s really not. You being in this vulnerable position whilst playing the mother Teresa is seemingly in your wheelhouse of drama… no?

It doesn’t even matter. You’ve been here many times, literally have caring people who want the best for you begging you to not be a big dummy and let him inside your place again. You’re going to do what you’re going to do.

You posted more than once.

But woman to woman… how is this messy man still attractive to you? He’s so scummy. That’s what you want? An addict, a thief, an animal abuser (yes I said it, he is)… is THIS what you spent your time being a good person for?

If you’re happy than I will be too. At the very least he will not be on the market bothering other women and wasting their precious time. Every time you help him you’re at the very least stopping him from seeking a woman who wants more for herself.

For that I thank you.

When people enjoy drama, it’s usually them that create it

Thats not true. People out themselves in drama in different ways. Some people like to be the fixer so attach themselves to completely unsuitable types, like your bf, as trying ti fix them gives them a buzz of sorts.