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Original poster

Gay porn wwyd

289 replies

Earmuffsweather · 13/10/2021 15:46

If you found out your partner of 10+ years had been watching gay porn ie men on men

OP posts:
Constellationstation · 15/10/2021 15:03

I think whether your son looked up the porn or not is getting to be irrelevant. You need to talk to someone about what your son has seen and leave your partner. He’s homophobic and gets angry with you when you try and talk to him about a really serious issue regarding your son. You need to speak to someone regarding what your son has seen. If a friend at school told him to look it up then the school needs to be told. Your partner sounds like a useless idiot at best

Opentooffers · 15/10/2021 15:05

You don't want to believe it's your DH, but it obviously is, to the point where he's even accused you now and it's as clear as day he wiped the history, too many coincidences.
You didn't want to believe your son, so you asked him multiple times, which is why he changed his story, he would of known you didn't like the first answer, otherwise you wouldn't have asked repeatedly.
So take it as what happened happened, then think about what you want to do to do about it. At the very least check that parental controls are on it before your son uses it again.
There will possibly be other telltale sexual preference and behaviour signs if your DH is gay, but if he is bisexual or bi-curious, possibly not.
Was he brought up in an environment where being gay or bi would of been seen as unacceptable? You know him best, so perhaps you will be able to guage the level of pressure he may have experienced that could of lead to him conforming to convention, rather than being up front about his sexuality. What are his friendship groups like?
Now you know he's at least bi-curious, though he won't admit it, then it's up to you how you feel about it. Do you trust that he's faithful to you? Can you accept it if it stays as fantasy, or would it be a deal-breaker? You know he would rather concoct stories and cover his tracks than be honest, would he cover infidelity like this also?
Unfortunately, and inevitably, your mind is going to be working overtime on this, anyone's would. I'd be closely watching him like a hawk, and seriously worried if he works away or spends nights away from home at times. It's going to be hard, time will tell if it starts impacting on your own emotional health and happiness, you will either get to a point where it becomes a deal-breaker or you may feel that sweeping it under the carpet is doable. Either way, ensure your son is kept safe and not exposed to it ever again. Put your own parental control on all gadgets your son uses, with a password that only you know - if you don't know how, it's time to find out ( if you have a tech- savvy friend, this could be handy, no need to explain details) and learn this as this is the most fundamentally important thing you can do to protect your DS.
Then, work out what it means for you.

Original poster
Earmuffsweather · 15/10/2021 15:07

He wasn’t overly concerned he said he’s bound to see stuff with technology these days but said he would put a filter on it.

Who would i get my son to speak to?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 15/10/2021 15:08

Yeah he's bound to see it when his dad leaves it lying around ffs.

If he hated gay men he'd be furious his child had seen it.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/10/2021 15:14

@Earmuffsweather

He wasn’t overly concerned he said he’s bound to see stuff with technology these days but said he would put a filter on it.

Who would i get my son to speak to?

I'm not even sure what's worse - lying about it or not giving a shit his EIGHT year old son has seen porn and not thinking it's a big deal.

He sounds like a shit dad tbh.

lynntheyresexpeople · 15/10/2021 15:19

[quote Earmuffsweather]@primrosee i am aware
I just cant be 100 my child did not google it himself[/quote]
Who searched it years ago then?? Come on ffs op!!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/10/2021 15:21

Next he'll be accusing your son of googling gay porn from the womb eight years ago. What a bellend.

Fluffypastelslippers · 15/10/2021 15:55

He wasn’t overly concerned he said he’s bound to see stuff with technology these days but said he would put a filter on it.

What the actual fuck

Get rid of him for fucks sake Hmm

Who would i get my son to speak to?

I would have contacted NSPCC for signposting 2 days ago if I were you.

Get rid of the man. It makes no odds if he is lying or not he a homophobic dickhead who isn't too fussed if his 8 years old sees pornography Sad

Fluffypastelslippers · 15/10/2021 15:56

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Next he'll be accusing your son of googling gay porn from the womb eight years ago. What a bellend.

And OP will be believing it Hmm

Original poster
Earmuffsweather · 15/10/2021 17:08

I will do thank you everyone for replying except those being mean
Im still in shock
Oh said he wanted to scream when i told him
he doesn’t have friends really and not close to his v small family
Doesn’t like mixing with mine

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/10/2021 17:13

OP hand on heart, honestly, do you think your husband (with form) searched for gay porn or that your eight year old son did?

What kind of percentage would allocate to the likelihood of each option? If you're being absolutely honest?

MissCruellaDeVil · 15/10/2021 17:24

He might not be gay, but watching it on a child's tablet is absolutely unacceptable.

Fluffypastelslippers · 15/10/2021 17:59

@Earmuffsweather

I will do thank you everyone for replying except those being mean Im still in shock Oh said he wanted to scream when i told him he doesn’t have friends really and not close to his v small family Doesn’t like mixing with mine

Nobody is being mean. I'm exasperated at the passive way in which you are commenting but I don't want you to think I am posting to be mean. I'm actually doing it because you have a young child who needs your input and support a lot more than you are giving. Forget the man, forget the excuses and focus on your child.

AFewSandwichesShortOfAPicnic · 15/10/2021 19:32

[quote Earmuffsweather]@RockinHorseShit i can’t as the ipad is nowhere to be seen[/quote]
You gave your son the device back without making sure there was nothing else on first? It's just when you say your child says it's not where he left it it sounds like it wasn't taken off him and out out of reach until you'd made sure no more adult content and full parental co trips had been set up.

If his Dad was innocent he'd have also have wanted to make sure the device was checked over and parental controls set up. The child should never have been given it back until you (because I wouldn't trust his dad) had learnt how to make sure it's safe for him.

whynotwhatknot · 15/10/2021 20:32

Op hes now gaslighting you accusing you of watching it thats classic diversion

and i dont watch that site what does that mean?

Dandy0911 · 15/10/2021 20:34

I'd be hitting the fucking roof over your 8 year old CHILD finding porn on his tablet!!

Is your son okay?? I'd be far more furious about that. If that was DH his bags would be packed for at least a few nights if our child ever had to endure that!
Put the sexual preferences to the side for a sec and deal with that!
Dirty and disgusting wanking while using a child's tablet! F that!

Dandy0911 · 15/10/2021 20:37

He's getting so damn defensive because he's lying to you.

The odds are he's wanked with your child's tablet in his hand.

Utterly despicable. Your poor son.

me4real · 15/10/2021 21:04

I found it once years ago and assumed he’d just clicked on it by mistake or something this was over 8 years ago. Then found it again recently on my sons tablet

I think it's too much of a coincidence that you found some before from your OH @Earmuffsweather . So it seems maybe 90% likely it was him. It's not likely that both him and his 8-year-old child like man-on-man porn. Pretty disgusting if he looked at it on a device your child can see.

Men can like looking at gay porn and still be mostly straight, it's just something different to look at. Or maybe he has some bisexual leanings. If your sex life seems ok he's probably not 100% gay.

Original poster
Earmuffsweather · 15/10/2021 21:25

Its not the best @me4real

OP posts:
me4real · 15/10/2021 22:24

Sad Sad Sad
How're you feeling @Earmuffsweather ? x

IrishMel · 15/10/2021 22:34

Hi just wanted to check in to see how things are going and also how you are feeling. Did you husband talk to you or just passing the buck. Crap when they lie to you and make you feel like all your fault. Hope you are ok. Just talk to you son and ask him if he needs to talk about what he saw and how he can always talk to you. He may talk or may not, he may have let it go. look after yourselves.

user1481840227 · 15/10/2021 23:12

@Cheesepuff1

I'd speak to him and not assume anything. i recall reading the youporn survey they did showed 20something % of the time straight men were watching gayporn. straight and lesbian women watch it even more.
They might label themselves as straight for the survey but that doesn't mean that they are.

I use a different sex forum and there's lots of men who label themselves as straight when they clearly are not, they are attracted to men and they also act on that attraction, they are not straight by definition but that's the label that they use to identify themselves.

Lots of people use the straight label when there are dozens more labels they could use if they wanted to be accuate.
It's getting to the point where straight people who are exclusively attracted to the opposite gender and only engage in sexual acts with the opposite gender are going to need a new label instead of straight as the original one is misused!

But then that one will be taken over too!

Cheesepuff1 · 16/10/2021 00:39

@user1481840227 well quite but realistically if everyone in the world was completely honest how many would pass the 100% straight test

user1481840227 · 16/10/2021 00:50

@Cheesepuff1
Well it's impossible to know but 100% straight people definitely exist....but when people see surveys saying 20% of straight men watch gay porn or X amount of straight men have sex with men they seem to just take it as a fact instead of actually considering the validity of the statement!

danidandan · 16/10/2021 01:55

If it was really your 8 year old boy, if he's clever enough to search for it, surely he would never admit it and delete it.

Not come to you and show you what he's found.

Your partner is lying to you and the fact an 8 year old boy has seen it, is disgraceful and far more of a concern than your partners preferences.