Match on Bumble, red flags?

[Wolfie11]

I’m new to the dating game and recently downloaded Bumble. I’ve never done online dating before or anything and have pretty much been in a relationship since I became an adult so my radar might be a bit off!

I matched with someone yesterday who I’ve got a lot in common with. We messaged back and forth most of yesterday, I gave him my number and we sent voice notes etc but some of the things he has said have put me off him slightly. For example:

• He said that he would give me a ‘silver star’ as usually most girls don’t get this far with him in the talking stage .

• He asked what are my best and worst physical attributes. I said my legs and bum are my best, he then said he’d been on my Instagram and couldn’t find any photos of my bum and asked for one. I sent him a fully clothed photo at a party where you can see my figure. He replied with a voice note saying he was disappointed and that wasn’t the kind of photo he was looking for and I was going down in his estimation to a bronze star. I told him if I was going to send photos of my ass to strangers I would do it on only fans and at least get paid for it! He stopped then.

• Chat was normal again, it was getting late so said goodnight and he said “top tip for you, I like cute morning texts” and “strong first day”.

I haven’t sent a morning text. Does anyone else have an opinion on the above? It’s annoying because I do actually quite like him and we have a lot in common but these comments have put me off. Not sure if I’m being unfair with that though!

He sounds hard work and icky

🤮🤮🤮

Christ he sounds like arse. "Silver star" is some negging crap.

There must be some actual adult men out there, who speak like actual humans.... surely?

He wanted nude photos sorry 😞 throw him back.

I wouldn’t bother having any further engagement with him. Who does he think he is, grading you? Cheeky twat

Throw him back-tell him that you don’t appreciate being graded, that his comments were sleazy and unpleasant and he sounds unpleasant. Then block.

I didn’t need to read past the first one really that would have been an instant no, but in future not a criticism but don’t tell guys that your bum is your best feature, If men ask this always say something non sexual like eyes for example! Never bum or boobs sorry, you have to be good at avoiding these things as well.

Yeah there's a good reason why Women don't like talking to him.
He sounds so cringey and sleazy.

I’m afraid I would bin him.

Oh one of those with an attitude of ‘go on impress me.’ I can’t deal with that, I don’t perform on command. I’m not a circus animal.

Oh god, no

Unmatch, block his number instead of the morning text. Why would you want to be with someone who is always rating you?

And if you are a bit new to this please know that offering feedback or explanations (I thought the your star system was weird and I don’t what to continue this) usually ends with anger and aggression. Better to let it just die quietly.

Sounds like a total dick, OP. I'd run a mile.

Strong first day? Who the fuck does he thinks he is?!! Awarding stars, my god. Look, this man clearly wants you to think he’s a prize and you need to ‘earn’ him - he’s already setting you tasks to prove you’re good enough. And yes it’s negging and the sort of thing pick up artists do to women to try and lower their self-esteem and control the interaction.

It’s laughable. The only wrong thing here is you’re not rolling with laughter at his pathetic tactics and hitting the block button.

What a horror. Unmatch and don't give your number out so easily next time. Be braced for some abuse...I suggest you block.

Absolute d&%k unmatch and continue swiping. Game player

Sounds like a complete asshat. Like he's using rewards to keep you replying. It's a bit of a power play in my opinion - asserting himself as the 'catch' who decides if your conversation goes any further and you're the one doing the pursuing.

If I were to be really kind i'd wonder if he was very nervous and he thinks he's being funny. BUT the request for the bum pic makes me think not.

I'd also say that it is totally normal to want to see the positives in your first interactions on OLD. But it can end up clouding your judgement - you really want to meet someone so you ignore the red flags and convince yourself that twattish behaviour is charming. Acknowledging that you're disappointed and a bit sad that he doesn't have potential afterall is very healthy. Being discerning is also very healthy.

He's being a total scumbag, expecting you to please him and dance to his tune. Patronising and cringey nasty arsehole OP!!! Hold out for a respectful man

Sounds like a dick, delete! (or whatever it is you do to get rid!)

Negging arsehole. Fishing for explicit pics. You’re not a performing seal, block the idiot and move on!

Fucking hell. He sounds like a colossal wanker. Imagine being the kind of twat who enjoys trying to make women jump through hoops to meet your approval.

Bin. Outside bin at that.

How is this even a question? Bin.

Christ almighty. Bin him off already.

He's acting like he's running a selection process and you're lucky to be getting considered. That for me is worse than the expectation that you'd send him a pic of your bare arse, which is bad enough.

Nope,

He sounds like an insufferable bellend. Have you ever seen beammeup_softboi on Instagram? He reminds me of the sort of men on there

The only person he is ever going to love is himself and you deserve better.