DP punched me in the head... What next?

[Sparklespangle]

This happened a few days ago and I have been at my parents house since

DP and I argued, during the argument he punched me hard in the side of the head, perforating my ear drum and bruising my face. I was rocking ds to sleep at the time so couldn't defend myself. He has never hit me before, we have been together 12 years and this was totally out of the blue.

Anyway, I gave no idea what I am supposed to do now. We joint own the house so I assume I won't be able to get any assistance with housing?
I have no money as dp is the sole wage earner and doles out the money each month. Again I don't expect I'll get benefits because of the house?

We are really overcrowded at my parents (4 adults and 2 children in a 3 bed) I really don't want to have to go home while he is there but I don't have a choice do I?

Feeling lost and scared this evening.

You’ve made such a brilliant, brave first step.
Just one step at a time and you will get there.

One day he will want access to the children. He wasn’t bothered about the baby in your arms when he punched you. Baby could easily have been hurt or worse, baby was only ok because you protected them.

If he persuades you he’s safe to be with the children at hurts them ‘out of the blue’ is that ok?
If you’re strong and he takes you to court, all you have is your word against his. So he will get unsupervised contact.

I don’t mean to be harsh but your next step is to protect your children from a future that hopefully won’t happen but might.

Also contact your gp, explain that you were scared and let them know what happened. You have patient confidentiality but that’s another bit of proof should you need it.
Any messages from him apologising for it, admitting it, anything that shows you’re telling the truth, just screen shot and save.

He doesn’t need to know any of this, your dd doesn’t need to know any of this.

Can you go back to your GP and be honest about what happened? They have probably seen lots of people who have 'taken a football to the head' or 'walked into a door', they won't judge you. Then at least your injuries are recorded officially. They could sign post you to a local DV contact to help you through this next bit of uncertainty.

Ok I did it. I put in the report on the 101 website. I said I don't want to press charges just have it logged. I hope I have done the right thing.

I'm shaking.

Oh thank goodness. You're so brave.

@Sparklespangle

Ok I did it. I put in the report on the 101 website. I said I don't want to press charges just have it logged. I hope I have done the right thing.

I'm shaking.

You absolutely have. I know it’s scary. I know it is. But it’s so the right thing to do. Well done. Honestly your so strong, you won’t feel it. But you really are. Well done darling. Well done

@Sparklespangle

That took real courage and you should feel very proud of yourself. You’re doing amazing, just one step at a time lovely ♥️

I think as well as everyone's support on here, coming home has made the difference. I expected to feel better when I was home. But putting Ds to bed in the dark in the room where it happened was awful and scary, I just cried until he was asleep.

I can't believe he has made me feel like this in my own home. Fucking prick.

All the more reason to report him. I'm glad you have. Its not right that you're left feeling the way you are in your own home, while he swans about doing whatever.

Well done, OP. I know it is scary, but its the far better option for you. Also less scary in the long run, since you are putting plans in place to protect yourself and your ds.

@Sparklespangle

I think as well as everyone's support on here, coming home has made the difference. I expected to feel better when I was home. But putting Ds to bed in the dark in the room where it happened was awful and scary, I just cried until he was asleep.

I can't believe he has made me feel like this in my own home. Fucking prick.

Keep that anger, he deserves it. Don’t let him persuade you to take him back.

Well done.
Do you still hzve bruises and Dsore ear?
If they follow up
Tell them everything
If they decide to go talk to him
So be it

Speak to the clubs. They may offer a discount or free for now place
Claim everything you entitled to
Dont rush for dc to see him
They can manage couple weeks
Tell them some of the truth
Daddy was very angry and needs to do time out

Let dc tell you what they heard or saw over next weeks gradually
Draw family tree how do they see him? Does he get mad and scare them too?

@Sparklespangle

I think as well as everyone's support on here, coming home has made the difference. I expected to feel better when I was home. But putting Ds to bed in the dark in the room where it happened was awful and scary, I just cried until he was asleep.

I can't believe he has made me feel like this in my own home. Fucking prick.

My ear is still crackling and popping, not as bad as it was but still annoying. I will look at claiming UC tomorrow.

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions I am taking everything on board.

I apologize for the gaps in updates I don't always have signal. Now I am at home I should be good on the WiFi.

No need to apologise OP, you don't owe us regular updates. They are appreciated but optional!

Good luck with UC, it's pretty straightforward, but if you need any help with it, there's lots of information on the Citizens Advice website and they have a "help to claim" service too (with a helpline and web chat) www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/helptoclaim/

No need to apologise, I was genuinely concerned earlier but letting us know you’re safe and strong is great to know.
Hope you manage to have a nice evening and sleep well.

Well done, you've made a huge step forward in all this.

You're being a parent that your DC can be really proud of.

@Sparklespangle

Ok I did it. I put in the report on the 101 website. I said I don't want to press charges just have it logged. I hope I have done the right thing.

I'm shaking.

Press charges if you can please

Down the road it will make life so much easier for you all

Been there
Trust me xxxxx

Well done xx

Well done sparkles, you’ll be very glad you at least logged it. In hindsight or to us it’s very obvious you have to but I imagine it feels immensely difficult from where you are, and it’s brave to have taken these steps to keep you all safe.

Ìììóm

You will get housing support as well as benefits.... owning a house with your husband will not exclude you from support!!

Fleeing domestic violence is a priority for all councils. Present at your local council offices with your DC and tell them what has happened and that can longer stay at your parents due to overcrowding.

They have a duty to safely re-home you and your children.

You must call the police. This man has hit you so hard he has damaged your ear drum and you was holding your child this is the lowest of the low.

I have been in this position however I was violently assaulted 2-3 times a week for 7 years I was a very vulnerable 16 year old when I met him and I was a perfect partner for him. He assured me on the labour wadd hours after giving birth at 17, he attacked me a lot when I had my DD In my arms I used to drop into a commando position whilst receiving kicks and punches I'd crawl but my DD in her bouncer and run to another room. Then when she was 3 I was holding her whilst brushing my teeth and he came in and head butted me I was unconscious and I obviously dropped my daughter luckily she wasn't seriously injured but I was. I have since had 22 operations on my brain and things still aren't what they used to be.

I left him but he stalked me and made my life a living hell then when I was 22 years old I was at a house party and he came. I stayed away but I woke the next morning having gone unconscious (I believe he drugged me) I was naked from the waste down. I found out I pregnant a few months later!! I stupidly agreed to get back with him thinking it wold be better for the children but I told him the second he layed hands on me I would be gone. Surprising he didn't hit me but when my youngest DD Was 6 weeks old I had both girls in the car driving at 70 miles an on the bypass and he started punching me as hard as he could in the side of the head and my head was bouncing of the window. My DD screaming he then pulled the hand break up causing me to loose control of the car. I drove straight to a police station with him still in my car and I've not seen him nor for nearly 10 years.

Sorry for such a long post I wanted to share my experience with you to hopefully give you a perspective that this will only get worse. You are worth so much more than this my love please please please do not go back and report him to the police you are strong and you have got this!! Please PM if you need anyone to chat too. Sending all my love and hugs

I apologise for my post. I have dyslexia and I miss out words and sentences it's so embarrassing I hope you get the general gist. Your doing amazing ❤️

@rainbowdashsneeze sending you lots of good wishes

Your story sent chills down my spine

So sorry you went through this

Can I also add that reporting to the police and going to court takes a while yes
But
I met the KINDEST people along the way

Sharing my story helped lots of others also

Well done, OP.

Hope you managed to get some sleep op