DP punched me in the head... What next?

[Sparklespangle]

This happened a few days ago and I have been at my parents house since

DP and I argued, during the argument he punched me hard in the side of the head, perforating my ear drum and bruising my face. I was rocking ds to sleep at the time so couldn't defend myself. He has never hit me before, we have been together 12 years and this was totally out of the blue.

Anyway, I gave no idea what I am supposed to do now. We joint own the house so I assume I won't be able to get any assistance with housing?
I have no money as dp is the sole wage earner and doles out the money each month. Again I don't expect I'll get benefits because of the house?

We are really overcrowded at my parents (4 adults and 2 children in a 3 bed) I really don't want to have to go home while he is there but I don't have a choice do I?

Feeling lost and scared this evening.

I apologise for the nonsense post above. Small child and an unlocked phone.

I wanted to say well done on reporting. It really is the best thing to do, to make sure everything is documented.

Also make sure that you tell all agencies that you are dealing with, including all benefits that you claim that you have suffered from DV.

In a lot of cases they have specific protocols for DV cases which mean that claims are processed quicker, with greater care. And actually in some cases DV cases have different rules.

For example with Universal credit you could be exempt from looking for work for approximately 13 weeks to allow time to look after yourself and children impacted by DV.

Also please don't be swayed to go back. It still sounds like he is enjoying holding some cards against you. Not telling you where he lives for example. Not really the signs of someone who is hugely apologetic and ashamed of his actions.

The report is done. It was so simple I wish I had done it a week ago.

The police officer came round, wrote down what happened. Asked a few standard questions. Checked I definitely didn't want them to ring DP. Gave me a crime reference number and that was it.

So it is recorded in case I need it in the future. Thank you everyone who encouraged me to report, you were all right it was so simple. I feel like a weight has been lifted and like I have taken some of the power back.

@Sparklespangle
I think some people don’t know it can be done online which personally I think helps as it’s easier to type facts rather than ring up and try to explain in an emotional state what’s actually happened.
Also the fact that nobody else needs to know, an assumption is sometimes ‘report to police = shit hits the fan.’

So proud of you, remember you have done nothing wrong and whatever he says or does you protect yourself and your children. Any horrible messages or showing up invites, just use your reference number to add to the report.

@Mymapuddlington you are right my assumption was 'shit hits the fan'. I'm so glad I did it.

I worked it up into a big deal when really it was no harder than posting on here.

Is it possible just to report a crime and not proceed with charges? I didn't even know you could do that.

Well done OP, you are stronger than you thought. Just remember that you have up to 6 months to press charges after a domestic assault, so even if you don’t want to press charges now you might feel differently in a few months time.

Talk to CAB to find out everything you are entitled to claim, talk to your DD’s clubs and school to let them know the basics (you can just tell them you and your partner have separated) so that they can keep an eye on her. If you feel up to it you may want to consider mentioning the assault if you are concerned that he may attempt to collect her without your knowledge.

Keep on keeping on, take it one day at a time.

@Pebbledashery I didn't know either until the last day or two.

I have no idea about other crimes but they were happy to take my statement and file it in case I need to add to it in the future.

They did say they can arrest for a victimless crime. So if I called them out during an argument and DP was drunk and aggressive they could arrest him even if I said I didn't want them too.

Well done for talking to the police, I don't know you but I'm proud of you!

I don't suppose you've claimed UC yet but if and when you do, feel free to PM me if you need help (it's one of the things I do in my day job )

Just wanted to check you and DC are doing ok? I'd been in an abusive marriage and the best thing I ever did was get out of that relationship,you've been very very brave,hoping he's kept his distance Sparklespangle