Stay at home mums - how much do you live on?

[JC2021]

Just intrigued as to what other SAHM use in terms of money?

My husband is the earner and we have a joint account - I get what I need our son and for the house but rarely spend anything on myself, am literally bottom of the pile it feels.. when I do spend on myself I feel my husbands eyebrows raise slightly.

I need a new phone (mine is cracked and very old!) a new winter coat (I have a few
but are years old and really fancy a new one) and would like a bit of me/pamper time..

I'm not a big spender and never have been but really feel I bloody deserve a few nice things!!!

I don't have any of my own money per say so it would be our joint money..

There isn’t £1k though is there because you’ve still got food and living expenses from that from what I read?

I am a SAHM, slightly different in that we jointly also own a rental property so technically some of the income is mine. However all money is paid into one account and We both have access to that account. DH has never questioned my spending, However we would discuss any big purchases and Neither of us are big spenders.

I’m a SAHM. We have joint accounts with full access. Never question what the other is spending, don’t run purchases past each other.
I think it depends how comfortable you are financially. I meet friends for lunch a couple of times a week, take my boys on days out to theme parks, playcentre, farms etc and have regular beauty treatments.
I don’t think my husband would have a clue what I spend and I don’t him.

But if money were tight, I would imagine both asking regarding purchases would be necessary.

@CinderFuckingRe11a
It does feel a bit like getting pocket money sometimes

I'm a sahm and I buy whatever I want but obviously within our means. Priority is of course household expenses but I don't need to discuss my spending with DH.

With my exH we had separate accounts. He would get his wage in his and I would get the tax credit and child benefit in mine. He would expect me to pay all clothes, activities, food etc out of mine as well as my own phone bill and travel... so I rarely had anything for myself.

He wouldn’t be classed as a high earner so I would expect some kind of budget. What things do you want to do with your mornings?
How much are groceries and your sons expenses? How much is actually left after those things? If it’s only £500 for the month, I would say an “allowance” of £300 for you is unreasonable as that would leave your husband with £200. You’d be better halving it surely?

I don't think it's particularly helpful when those whose partners have high incomes say they spend what they want. The op doesn't have a huge amount to play with...2k is a high mortgage..then 1k on bills and 1k left for food and kids stuff. She can buy a coat but can't spend with abandon if they can't afford it

That's quite a high mortgage payment for the income, 50%. How much do you realistically have left over each month?

Oh and I told him about a MILLION times that I couldn't cope like that so he would send me increments of money like a child but he'd make me feel bad about it. Thank goodness for divorce

Do you save into a pension for you?

£250 - 300 a month?

If you have 2k a month after mortgage & 1k is on bills & then food, savings, the above £300 for you & then something for DH personal spends comes out of the remaining 1k that's pretty tight.

Ok £4K income on one salary is what about £80-85k or maybe more depending on pension contributions

So that places ops husband in the top 5% of all earners and I don’t think posters sAying he’s not a high earner are either realistic nor helpful.

God knows how he got a mortgage that’s 50 per cent of his income though.

it doesn't really make sense & it doesn't leave much to play with

He might be a high earner on paper but only having £250-£300 a month left over wouldn’t make them financially well off.

I agree re the mortgage too. Far too high for the income.

@RJnomore1

Are you paying into a personal pension for you?

That should be high on your priority list.

4k is well above average so you should be able to afford it.

Apologies to be precise the mortgage is £1,600 bit less the the £2k I rounded up

I'm a SAHM and my partner is the bread winner as they say. Money is always tight but if I want something he will manage to fit it in to our budget and all bills are paid first.

So he's got pots of money squirreled away? Has been saving for years? But you've got a £2,000 mortgage on a 4k salary? Plus he racks up credit card bills that he pays off out of 'his' money/savings.
That sounds like quite poor money related habits tbh.

It's still quite high at 40% though which is making a big dent on your disposable income

He remortgaged another property that he owned before we married.. he is due to sell that soon as wants to pay our mortgage off fully. He opted for a higher rate mortgage to get a better deal / rate.. he hopes
to pay off our mortgage within the next couple of years

With exh we had a joint account, when I was a sahm I didn't spend much but nor did he because we didn't have spare. Once I went back to work we were good at spending sensibly.

I don't have joint finances with dp but I earn enough to cover all my personal expenses, all for my DD's and I pay the tv, Netflix and internet bill.

If you’re wanting advice on how to manage the money, it would be better to provide accurate figures. What’s the balance on the CC?
Do you have a pension?
How much is spent on food & your sons expenses? These should really be classed as bills.
You really need to work out what is left every month after every single expense so food, fuel, takeaways, lunches at work etc

Then you can decide how much you can afford as an allowance.

Also I don't have a private pension! I don't claim child benefit either as wouldn't get anything / have to pay the tax back..

Left with nothing but from what I understand I should claim CB as would give me credits..

I should also look into a private/personal pension and will do when I return to work

A higher rate mortgage? What do you mean? A higher rate mortgage isn’t a better deal, it’s a worse one.