Affair question - does a MM still have sex with his wife?

[Curiousityiskillingthiscat]

If your DH had an affair, were you still having sex before you found out? Basically, do they all lie to the OW about being in a sexless marriage to justify what they’re doing / to make the OW think it’s ok? Or are a lot of men who have affairs really in sexless marriages?

In my experience yes they lie and their wives would say that they are in a happy loving marriage with no major issues

Every single person I know who was being cheated on was still having sex with their partner.

My ex and I had brilliant sex. He just wanted more of the same with lots of different partners.

If they were having sex before the affair then yes- they think that having sex will help keep the wife fooled.

Affairs often make men hornier, so it is not uncommon that a man having an affair suddenly shows much more passion to his wife too.

Yes. They just tell the OW that they don't.

I think for some it enhances their sex life at home.

Oldest line in the book and any woman who believes this drivel is a total fool!!! My exH told all his affair partners that we weren't sleeping together.....I remember him being a total sex pest

I think in a few cases it's true, but the vast majority are still having sex.

Ime it's more likely men in sexless marriages are more likely to see sex workers.

Generally they are. Just not enough or just not 'new'.

Any OW with sense would realise this.

Definitely. Not only that but also 'we are only together for the children' is a popular line.

Are dirty liars…liars?

Yeah. 😄

I’m divorced, met OM when he was separated from his wife and living alone. He was without any doubt the one. She knew he had met someone else and instantly became ‘sick’. Never materialised into anything but meant he was full on with the kids and looking after her while she had this mysterious illness. She was then miraculously fine but his young children were struggling after he had left too. Their shared custody arrangements were shambolic and bitter on both sides. He moved back in with them with the promise of it just being temporary until she was more stable. 5 years down the line, I’m still wasting my life waiting for him. His reason (excuse) is his children and wanting them to be older and fear of his wife losing it again. Claims to be completely separate marriage and no sex , separate bedrooms but it’s been 5 years. No one goes 5 years with a spouse without sex even if you do hate each other. Depressed by wasting all these post-divorce years waiting despite still believing he is the one.

What are you going to do @Curiousityiskillingthiscat?

When my ex was having an affair, we were having sex every day or every other day, trying for a baby.

Oh dear, that’s tricky.

I disagree that there’s such a thing as “the one” though. There are probably plenty of men you’d be compatible with. Someone who doesn’t seem to have any intention of being with you is definitely NOT “the one”.

Of course they do!

Unfortunately op I think they will be having sex still. Please consider your sexual health and get checked out. He may be the love of your life but he’s not worth dying for.

Yes, have been cheated on multiple times and we were having sex more than once a week. No idea what the OW were told, though.

When my wife was having an affair, she stopped having sex with me.

@damemaureen I really don’t know. I so desperately want to believe him but I can’t keep living like this and hoping for that blissful time we spent together to happen again.

I was kind of hoping that at least one person would say you know what, yes they aren’t always having sex.

None of what he says sits with the fact he is still there all these years later even with the age old line that it’s for the children. I’m holding on to the fact they had previously separated and that they obviously weren’t happy. But to go back and still be there 5 years later. More fool me.

They don't always tell the ow they're not

Yep. Even right up to the point I found out even though we were living separately

Yes my ex was having sex with me when he was with the OW. And having sex with the OW when he met his now wife 😂😂😂

Yep, they do. My ex got me pregnant while having a passionate affair with my "friend" . My DS was 9 months old when I finally found out about it. Up until then I'd thought everything was fine, normal sex, loving relationship etc.

If your partner is still there after 5 years....come on, they are not living separate lives. You know that. They are living as a family , you're the affair partner.

Move on - there are nice normal men out there who are not still living with their wives and children.