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Original poster

Fed up with family making comments about my weight

204 replies

Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 16:42

I'm feeling really fed up and not sure what to do.

I am 5 foot 8 and a fairly solid size 14 - 16. I say solid because I'm fairly muscular, I suppose like a slightly chubby tennis player, if you get my drift! I suppose I would like to be 2 stone lighter. I do lots of walking and am out and about a lot, I suppose my portions are a bit big but not excessively so. I never eat in the evenings, have 3 meals a day etc.

Throughout my life I've had various members of my middle class family making comments about my weight. Sort of saying I'm too overweight, I should lose weight etc. Its happened again very recently and its really annoyed me. I would never comment on someone's body. It just perplexes me.

The most recent example was someone telling me I should lose weight for a family wedding. It has only really occurred to me this week that that is what was being said.

I'm feeling like distancing myself from these family members. At a maximum size 16 I dont feel really fat, just slightly muscular with a bit of chub on top.

Is it normal for people to family members to make such comments? It puts me off seeing them tbh. I am healthy. I feel that life shouldn't be about the way people look.

OP posts:
notlongtillxmas · 21/09/2021 18:29

I'd be telling them to kiss my muscular fat arse !

Viviennemary · 21/09/2021 18:29

What weight are you exactly. Maybe they feel it's a health issue.

ChargingBuck · 21/09/2021 18:30

@Rainbowheart1

I’m sorry but you can’t not be fat at a size 16. No ones muscles are that big for your height!

Maybe if your saying your healthy and not fat, when your a size 16, they might think that you can’t see yourself just how unhealthy you are so trying to make you aware but it’s coming across as them picking on you?

Just seems funny it seems to be quite a fair few people. If a sister kept going on about how healthy it was to smoke, I’d be correcting her because I care about her, if she was going on about how healthy she was and how she’s not fat when she was I’d be letting her know she is so she can do something about it because I care about her.

How you understand what I’m trying to say, I’m not very good at explaining.

Fucksake.

OP: "My family are rude & hurtful about my weight. Am I too sensitive?"

Rainbow: "You are fat, also Bad & Wrong. I'm only saying so because I "CARE". Also, I obviously know more about your body than you do, despite you being an intelligent adult whose body I have never seen, so it's ok for me to criticise you & tell you that you are too stupid to understand your own weight & health."

PP: "WTactualF? OFFOD, @Rainbowheart1."

notlongtillxmas · 21/09/2021 18:31

@Viviennemary

What weight are you exactly. Maybe they feel it's a health issue.
None of our business , if OP wanted to say her weight she would
CurryLover55 · 21/09/2021 18:33

rainbowheart1 are you serious?! Of course you can be a size 16 & not fat!

Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:35

I think I am 13.5 stone so yes quite heavy but muscular as well as a bit of fat and 5 foot 8.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 21/09/2021 18:35

Fine. So the family are probably right to have concerns if OP is in denial. Which it sounds like she is. In any case if its nobodys business why raise it on a public forum.

Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:36

I am probably the biggest woman in my family bar another who once told me that I wouldn't get a man being the size I am. But that's another story!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:37

I think I could do with losing two stone viviennemary but I dont look really fat.

OP posts:
EdgeOfTheSky · 21/09/2021 18:38

Jeez, the usual suspects are here on this thread…..

The OP posted that she is fed up and upset that relatives comment on her weight, and if this is normal behaviour.

A load of MNers Wade in as apologists for the relatives who are making comments, others line up with the relatives and also comment on the OP’s weight…

Some of you need to take a long hard look at yourselves (hint: not at your bodies) and how you treat other women.

Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:40

Edgeofthesky thank you. I cant imagine eve caring that much about someone being 2 stone overweight. So odd.

OP posts:
Rainbowheart1 · 21/09/2021 18:41

Grow up chargingbuck

ChargingBuck · 21/09/2021 18:41

@Shareandtear

Thank you ChargingBuck that was lovely. Would it put you off people and make you not want to be around people who would say this sort of thing?
Yeah mate.

Glad to see you are considering not bothering with these folk in future.
Not prescribing what you "should" do, but this level of constant body-policing would have me returning some VERY sharp words.
If those words were not followed by an instant improvement in their behaviour ... bye bye, I'm off.

EdgeOfTheSky · 21/09/2021 18:41

@Viviennemary OMG, have you just outed yourself as a relative of the OP Shock

Viviennemary · 21/09/2021 18:42

Ok thanks Shareandtear. Doesn't sound like you are fat even though you could probably do with losing a bit.

ChargingBuck · 21/09/2021 18:42

@Viviennemary

What weight are you exactly. Maybe they feel it's a health issue.
OP's weight is none of our business Viviennemary.

What possible reason could you have for asking?

Viviennemary · 21/09/2021 18:43
Grin
Smashingspinster · 21/09/2021 18:43

You look fine (however you look). Your size is fine (14 - 16 is average british womans size and at your height you certainly are not wildly overweight). I think these things happen in families at times and other people pick up on it. I have a friend who has this from her family. You would be quite justified to tell them to go fuck themselves.

Bluntness100 · 21/09/2021 18:44

Have you ever asked them why they keep making comments? If you just look muscular and not fat why do they keep going on?

Yes your BMi is overweight nearing obese, but as you’re very muscular that doesn’t really count.

It’s none of their business though, it doesn’t matter if they see something different to what you see, they’ve no right to comment.

ChargingBuck · 21/09/2021 18:45

@Viviennemary

Fine. So the family are probably right to have concerns if OP is in denial. Which it sounds like she is. In any case if its nobodys business why raise it on a public forum.
She didn't.

She raised a question about whether her family's remarks about her body are rude. (Hint - they are, but so are you, so you may not have noticed.)

She specifically did not require a critique about her body. A body which she appears to understand very well, & has not requested your "advice" about.

Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:47

Is it to put me down Bluntness1000?

Do some women get off on that when it comes to weight? It has happened too many times to be a coincidence.

I could do with losing 2 stone or definitely one and a bit.

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 21/09/2021 18:47

@Rainbowheart1

Grow up chargingbuck
Piss off, body-shamer.
BigButtons · 21/09/2021 18:49

@Shareandrtear 2 stone is quite a bit overweight though.

Rainbowheart1 · 21/09/2021 18:50

Body shamer 😂😂😂😂😂

Your adorable.

Original poster
Shareandtear · 21/09/2021 18:51

I reckon I could probably only lose a stone it might be harder for me to lose more as quite muscular as I said.

OP posts:
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