Fed up with family making comments about my weight

[Shareandtear]

I'm feeling really fed up and not sure what to do.

I am 5 foot 8 and a fairly solid size 14 - 16. I say solid because I'm fairly muscular, I suppose like a slightly chubby tennis player, if you get my drift! I suppose I would like to be 2 stone lighter. I do lots of walking and am out and about a lot, I suppose my portions are a bit big but not excessively so. I never eat in the evenings, have 3 meals a day etc.

Throughout my life I've had various members of my middle class family making comments about my weight. Sort of saying I'm too overweight, I should lose weight etc. Its happened again very recently and its really annoyed me. I would never comment on someone's body. It just perplexes me.

The most recent example was someone telling me I should lose weight for a family wedding. It has only really occurred to me this week that that is what was being said.

I'm feeling like distancing myself from these family members. At a maximum size 16 I dont feel really fat, just slightly muscular with a bit of chub on top.

Is it normal for people to family members to make such comments? It puts me off seeing them tbh. I am healthy. I feel that life shouldn't be about the way people look.

Ahh Suprima being judgemental is fun isn’t it

OP - tell your family members and in laws to mind their own damn business. Seeing as you are an adult, your body is your own business.

Thanks Comtesse. I agree I will do that. If I see them again... at the moment I'm honestly in 2 mins!!!

To answer the other questions..

I've never done bodybuilding.

My mums side and dads side dont know each other... my in laws are also separate from the others. So yep I've had it from all sides.

Maybe people need something to pick on people with?

@Shareandtear

Do it’s utterly unacceptable
It only upsets people

Tell them it is not ok and they better not mention again or you will talk about their……

Tell them it’s offensive and upsetting

Its just thr fact I've had it from so many different people I wondered whether it was a normal thing.

I'm not thin and I'm a bit overweight but still mainly a size 14 although I take size small jumpers and size 14 leggings because of muscular butt and thighs.

Yes it could absolutely be that. Some people can’t see past themselves.

For instance if a women is really into make up, they can’t process some women are actually comfortable going out in public bare faced, as they wouldn’t do it themselves, so can’t see how possibly anyone else could. Their just immature really!

Cascascascas it's v v upsetting and perplexing.

Yes Rainbowheart1 I think it could be that. But we all cant be the same can we? My mother in law was definitely saying it to put me down, she has said loads of things to that effect... with the weight one she said 'it must be horrible for you having a weight problem.'

Thankfully I dont see them anymore...

Because there is an element of absolute delusion

riiiiiiigght 🙄

@Comtesse

Ahh Suprima being judgemental is fun isn’t it

OP - tell your family members and in laws to mind their own damn business. Seeing as you are an adult, your body is your own business.

indeed

Wow if you look like serena Williams that’s impressive, that woman is solid muscle. You must be exercising like her too. Good for you.

For the rest of us though, I’m five eight and at a sixteen I’m defintely fat. I exercise a lot, five or six times a week, but I’m more lean and toned and when I’m bigger I still don’t look like serena. You must be going some.

I think good for you, yout family is being odd. Just remind them it’s pure muscle and how yoire achieving it

On a seperate note, no one has the right to comment negatively on yout body unless you ask that sort of question. Even if you were fat and not muscle it would make no difference.

Maybe they just aren’t used to women so muscular. Don’t listen to them, that’s one impressive physique,

OP, I think you might be focussing on the wrong thing, here. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat, muscular or in something else. It really doesn’t. Your body is your business and people don’t get to tell you what to do with it. It’s incredibly rude. Full stop.

I’m not sure if this has been covered (I read the thread, but didn’t find it), but is there a reason you haven’t told these rude people to stop? Is something holding you back?

Bluntness100 v amusing!!

Yes I look just like serena!!

My name is venus!!

I've just checked and my body looks quite like Serena William's shape. Do you think serena is fat? Genuine question. I think she looks muscular but shapely

I’m lost.

Buggritbuggrit I think I (strangely) feel so surprised when it happens I cant believe it and dont say anything back.

No I definitely dont ask for opinions. People bring the subject up to me.

Also, @Rainbowheart1 Not that it matters, but all the women in this photo are a size 16. Heightwise, OP would be somewhere between the last two. I don’t think most people would consider that to be fat.

Bluntness - i was saying I had muscular legs and bottom and quite broad shoulders. Eg muscular and chunky.

@Shareandtear

Just wondering whether I am being over sensitive...

Oh good grief, no you are not!

As well as making unnecessary & hurtful remarks, do your family school you in tolerating their bullshit by turning their nastiness into actually being your own fault for being "too sensitive"?

I can't think why you would otherwise question your own very reasonable feelings about this.

I really liked your own words - I would never comment on someone's body. It just perplexes me.

You are not over-sensitive, & you have every right to challenge people, every time they make hurtful/disrespectful remarks.
Something like -
"I would never comment on someone's body. Stop commenting on my weight."
"I am happy with my body. Stop commenting on it, you are being very rude."
"My body is none of your business. I am not oversensitive - you are rude."

I hope they soon STFU, & that you are left in peace to enjoy your lovely powerful, healthy body, without any more of this ridiculous, undermining bollocks from your family members.

Bluntness : SHAPE.
Broad shoulders. Muscular. Not petite. Athletic rather than willowy.

There you are, not lost after all

Buggritbuggrit I think I look closest to caroline with clothes on!! Thank you.

What is your BMI? Sizes mean nothing.

Even if you are muscular if you are over 27 you would be healthier losing weight.

Thank you ChargingBuck that was lovely.
Would it put you off people and make you not want to be around people who would say this sort of thing?

@felulageller Did OP ask for your opinion on her weight or her health? Are you her doctor? If the answer to those questions is ‘no’, then wind your neck in.

Edge of the sky yes that is it.