Dating thread 213 - falling into Autumn leaves

[BelladiMamma]

New thread 🧵 with the rules as a screenshot 🍂

@SortingItOut I'm so sorry Mr K has got you feeling like this :( it does sound like you possibly want different things from what you have, and I'd feel like you in the same position. I hope tomorrow's chat is helpful.

@Misty9 oooh good luck... toilet update when you can please!!!

@Misty9 there's always that little bit of anxiety inviting someone over, he's coming to my home, he gets to see my personal knick knacks and he gets to meet the most important girl in my life my cat. Although I'm more worried that I could cock up dinner. My ex gave me a compliment the other day and actually said I was a good cook (I just can't cook pizza or chips as I get distracted lol).

Good luck with your date!

Yea hope you enjoy yourself @Misty9!! 🤩👏🏻 Go casual, but perhaps more ‘figure hugging’ than usual, maybe a little extra mascara and make sure your hairs nice. That’s what i’d do!
@Isitreallyme177 have you checked your whatsapp then? You’ll be so chuffed when this meals all planned.
@JustAnother0ldMan i’m curious to hear how you want to handle this, as it’s so rare to hear from the other side. Were your last text exchanges about making plans? or about how you’d been getting on and saw things playing out between the two of you? No need to go into details if its done and dusted for you though.

@Naimee87 nope, I'm currently looking at jumpers and watching TV (a programme about Heathrow Airport funnily enough🤦‍♀️😂).

@Isitreallyme177 love the pizza and chips comment!!!! Good Luck! I personally prefer motorway programs for the trucks that get stopped and checked! 😃

@Misty9 Thanks for your message.

I've just text to make sure he is free tomorrow night for a chat and he has confirmed he is, I actually thought how funny it would be if he had made other plans (even though we agreed Sunday to meet tomorrow before this issue) and that would just sum up completely my issue with not being a priority😂

Good luck with the date🤞

@Naimee87 I've always found the programmes about airports interesting. I do like Ice Road Truckers though.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2019/02/26/every-horrible-2019-dating-stage-mean-8747652/amp/

OMG 🤯

Clearly I'm over 35!

Do you think these rules still apply if you're over 35 - do us oldies need to adapt to modern protocol? I feel exhausted just reading the article... Wish I could just travel back in time 20 years...

@Naimee87

Well, both of us are over 50, we met via OLD, both work full time.
Last time met was Sunday before last, dinner date, talked about events from the week before and what we looking to do the following week, etc etc, regular stuff, she was going to be quite busy with different work stuff and wanted an early night, which was okay for me, and that was the last contact we had.

I messaged her the following Monday with a normal kinda hello message, no response (but did get 2 blue ticks), another message Monday evening (again 2 blue ticks, no response),
Messaged on Wednesday morning, only one tick, and picture had disappeared.

So I don’t really know what happened, cold feet maybe, or something I said, or she decided she didn’t like me, or she had a better offer from elsewhere, who knows 🤷🏼‍♂️, bit pissed that she couldn’t even be bothered to send me a thanks but no thanks reply.🙁

@PurpleStripyScarf

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2019/02/26/every-horrible-2019-dating-stage-mean-8747652/amp/

OMG 🤯

Clearly I'm over 35!

Do you think these rules still apply if you're over 35 - do us oldies need to adapt to modern protocol? I feel exhausted just reading the article... Wish I could just travel back in time 20 years...

Christ, this is more complex than the instructions from the last VCR I had

@JustAnother0ldMan so sorry to hear that, it’s a cruel thing to do that to someone. You are better off finding someone kind.

I got a nice message from my date last night, saying he enjoyed meeting me but feels we’re at different stages in our lives. Think he’s right really and glad to have had the message.

MrWG didn't come for our usual Wednesday lunch time meet up - he's got a cold (probably from me) and as he has a long trip Fri he's worried about fuel. But he did at least let me know.

I called him for a chat and I got quite narked to hear him typing in the background.

Other chap from walking group has asked me to a pub music thing Friday potentially with other walking group people. I want to know who else is going, and I don't want to be seen to arrive or leave with him, so that's a bit tricky!

[quote StartingAgain6369]@WeWantTheFinestWines noticed in your thread Tinder and 50+

Being a 50+ male I hadn't even considered Tinder as an option, thinking it was only for 20/30s, is it as bad as the youngsters in my office make it out to be ?[/quote]

I think you should definitely give Tinder a go. It has big numbers and almost everyone scoots by there at some point, I reckon. All ages use it. You'll increase your chances - lots of decent people are on there. Keep your standards high though and don't swipe right on just any old bird...

@PurpleStripyScarf

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2019/02/26/every-horrible-2019-dating-stage-mean-8747652/amp/

OMG 🤯

Clearly I'm over 35!

Do you think these rules still apply if you're over 35 - do us oldies need to adapt to modern protocol? I feel exhausted just reading the article... Wish I could just travel back in time 20 years...

This is SO 2019 🤣

I think when we are back in the dating game later in life with folks our own age we can just decide on what our rules are! And hopefully have a conversation about that with our dates. Grown up conversation is so sexy!

Talking of which I've deleted the FAB profile with one possible social.

Feeld has yielded me better results and I have my first date zero Sunday

We need a new thread-I’m useless at coming up with a witty title so @BelladiMamma it’s over to you :)

Dating thread 214 - the no rules one! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4362447-dating-thread-214-the-no-rules-one

Dear all - I'm new to this thread ..I love it! I have used Mumsnet as a source of comfort and joy for many years, but have never posted. So here I am happy independent woman of 56, but definitely ready to date/have adventures of the bedroom kind. Underneath the confidence I am a bit lonely and youngest child (17) will fly the nest soon. Anyway hang on in there ... I need some advice. Have been on OLD for a few months, gosh what a mindfuck it is ... but gradually have built up confidence in myself to cope with it. Have a had fling ... sexually liberating if a bit intense. Only 72 hours ago began messaging someone ... lots of fun and chat. We've had 2 phone calls ... messaging ... lovely but intense as only OLD can be. So the issue is ... I am a single parents with 3 jobs ... living carefully within my means, then this person has carefully and politely revealed he is wealthy, landed, living in very posh area. Uggghhhh ... I know life should be about shared values and not about ££££ but I think we all know how it really is. I am not on his lifestlye page .... I don't know what to do. He has carefully sounded me out ... but still seems interested. I am not interested in his wealth ... but I know how money can make life easy and stops you noticing the struggles of others, and how men do better out of divorce than women . I have had many struggles over the years. Can anyone give me some sensible, pragmatic advice? I just need to get this one in perspective and go forward with it ... ps just to say I think eharmony is a load of rubbish and full of shop dummies who don't respond. Please offer perspectives ...

@Cheesepastie

Welcome just jump in

I’d say with the new iron just take each contact as it comes and keep your boundaries/read the situation as you would any other situation?

I wouldn’t worry about the income gap at this stage unless you find he’s suggesting you fly out to Paris to party for the weekend on your own expense for the first meet!

Just go with your own comfort levels.

(I’d be a little bit mindful of why he’s chosen to reveal his financial situation to you -a complete stranger.

It could be just his chat style but also he could be “future faking” a bit - ie encouraging early intimacy because there’ll be this great glam joint lifestyle in the future - but nothing’s real till it’s real)

Good luck!

[quote BelladiMamma]Dating thread 214 - the no rules one! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4362447-dating-thread-214-the-no-rules-one[/quote]
@Cheesepastie just alerting you to the latest thread as this ones nearly full

@Cheesepastie and so I'm not posting-and-running - I agree with @Spring that it being early days you have the space and time to run with this. Lifestyle and financial independence is one thing but there are other aspects of compatibility that you can still enjoy without compromising your own limits or embarrassment, and along the way the flags and dealbreakers may or may not emerge. spring, as always, articulates it much better than I do!

SpringlikeBunk - perfect advice thank you - boundaries will be put back in place. I do find OLD discombobulating ... I have to keep taking a firm grip of myself. This helps.