Dating thread 213 - falling into Autumn leaves

[BelladiMamma]

New thread 🧵 with the rules as a screenshot 🍂

Checking in and thanks for the thread.

Maybe I should send Mr Cricket a picture of all the cakes I make that might get him to respond to my message about dinner 😂😂😂. And low and behold he has just messaged and agreed to dinner said it sounds like a great idea.

Other than that a bloody stressful afternoon, getting tickets printed for isle of wight festival and trying to book the ferry (we miss Duran Duran sadly) whilst also trying to sort my parents TV out with my ex constantly calling me whilst I'm trying to pay for the bloody ferry. I've had enough today and just want to curl up on the sofa for the evening now. Still need to go shopping and get petrol and collect the printed tickets from my sister.

@fidgetmad @yellowcourgette welcome

@MayEye hope you're feeling better and that things continue in this vein ☺️

@EchoElephant great update 😁

@Dropdeadfred2 sounds like things are quite busy after all

@SpringlikeBunk hope life in your new town is going well and that the anxiety is backing down

@everyone sorry I'm on my phone and I can't keep up with the names and mentions but hoping that things will fall 🍂 into place for us all

Checking in. Finally starting to feel better. Things cooling with Mr runner but a new potential date zero on Saturday, if I'm well enough by then. Good chat and says he only chats to one at a time... Could all be bs of course!

@Dropdeadfred2 any contact from your man?

@Naimee87 yes it's the team situation that is another new issue at work. 4 members of the team are in their 40s and the other 2 members are early to mid 30s and the same religion so go to each other for advise etc. I'm just feeling really left out as they have decided to have an in person meeting once a month everyone but me was consulted when I have the longest travel time and the most infrequent public transport. The whole team is supportive of another member who rehomed a dog and then got a puppy in the same weekend. I tried to speak up but got a load of opinions on why I'm wrong. Put that on top of all the other existing issues and I have just had enough. I'm still looking for a new job so hopefully it will quickly.

Ewww POF really does yield some utter pond life. Nice chat going with someone who gave me their number so plugged it into WhatsApp to drop him a line and the photo on WhatsApp is obviously more recent and he looks 10 years older 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also I've hidden my profile on POF but I'm still getting new likes?! Time to go through the pain of deleting it methinks

@Misty9

Checking in. Finally starting to feel better. Things cooling with Mr runner but a new potential date zero on Saturday, if I'm well enough by then. Good chat and says he only chats to one at a time... Could all be bs of course!

@Dropdeadfred2 any contact from your man?

Glad to hear it ... and good luck with the potential new one ...

@ibelieveinmirrorballs

Thanks for the thread *@BelladiMamma*

One iron for me - date zero Thursday - if it happens…. #glasshalfemptyattitude

Good luck 🤞🏽

Got a call with one of new matches this evening - he asked if up for facetime or a call - I've been at work at all day and feel like I look rough so have opted for a call 😆

What is everyone's views btw on multiple dating? I feel absolutely horrible speaking to more than one person at a time, which is why I've never done it, but I've ended up seeing the first person I went on a date with and then feeling like fobbing off others, but 1. feel like I could be potentially missing out and 2. it can't be that easy right?!

@yellowcourgette

What is everyone's views btw on multiple dating? I feel absolutely horrible speaking to more than one person at a time, which is why I've never done it, but I've ended up seeing the first person I went on a date with and then feeling like fobbing off others, but 1. feel like I could be potentially missing out and 2. it can't be that easy right?!

@yellowcourgette I would find this hard to do for the same reason. It's good for keeping your options open though ❤️

Yes exactly. I had another date scheduled for tonight but I feel horrendous and cancelled. So he brought me some lovely food to cheer me up as a surprise. That alone makes me want to delete Tinder!

@yellowcourgette

What is everyone's views btw on multiple dating? I feel absolutely horrible speaking to more than one person at a time, which is why I've never done it, but I've ended up seeing the first person I went on a date with and then feeling like fobbing off others, but 1. feel like I could be potentially missing out and 2. it can't be that easy right?!

Ultimately it's down to you and where you are in life.

At the moment I'm totally over it as I've figured out that until you're 3/4 dates in, on the verge of sleeping with someone or have actually slept with someone, you shouldn't really be putting all your eggs in one basket. You could be having the odd coffee with someone new every week and that might not go anywhere.

Actually with or without having sex with them, it can take a hell of a long time to get to know someone and decide whether or not you want to continue getting to know them ...

Plus with all the flaking that goes on, it's hard to know who you're actually going to manage to see on a regular basis!

However I'm fully aware that it's an energy suck and you can feel pulled in different directions.

Definitely on the verge of sleeping together. Well we shared a bed but he wanted to wait which was quite sweet. I don't think I'm interested in talking to anyone else right now. But I often overinvest and go 1000% into things (ADHD mind here!) so I need some outside perspective.

@Dancerinthemoonlight that's not a great feeling! I feel for one of the others on our team as she gets talked about a lot and she's really lovely. But just makes me think this 'inner clique' probably talk about all of us behind our back and are 'nice as pie' to our face. I got ghosted by the 'snooty-girl' group as well. One girl i worked for (same age but super senior) thought it'd be nice to get together and she added me to this 'girls group' chat. No one ever entertained me when i would message but cross text and chat to each other. People can just be so rude and insensitive. Is it impossible for you then to join this meeting they've setup?

Checking in…things still going great with Mr Polish although there are a couple of niggles, not deal breakers but things that may need a discussion in the longer term.

How’s everyone else feeling?

Checking in (thanks @BelladiMamma for the new thread)

Nothing new to report here, still very happy with my MrMud!

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread. Minimalist update from me for reasons which I'll come back and elaborate on in a few days but suffice to say at the moment I don't feel confident that my online activity is totally private (home/STBXH issue). Sorting that out first and then will return for a proper update.

@Naimee87 I can and will join them it just means leaving earlier than Id like which would have been avoided if they had of asked and I'd have just asked for it to be pushed back 30 mins to an hour which would have been a lot more doable for me. As I said hopefully it won't be for much longer as I'm still looking and will move as soon as I can.
Only 3 more days to go until I get a 2 week break where I will be uncontactable as only 1 person has my personal number and they will be ignored if they bother me with work things.

Check check 🧵
Thanks for the new thread @BelladiMamma love the title and very fitting as I just went for a walk and was thinking how beautiful autumn is starting to show. I really do love autumn 🍂 ❤️

@EchoElephant brilliant update bet you're glad you didn't dump him too soon! 😉😆

Absolute zero dating update from me. Since I deleted pof I haven't even thought about any apps. And no random beautiful men have knocked at my front door this week asking to wine and dine me! How disappointing!!

@FireandBrimstone

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread. Minimalist update from me for reasons which I'll come back and elaborate on in a few days but suffice to say at the moment I don't feel confident that my online activity is totally private (home/STBXH issue). Sorting that out first and then will return for a proper update.

Oh shit that doesn't sound good. Here for you when you're ready

Well, I bit the bullet and joined POF. Eurgh! Quite possibly the worst I’ve been on. So many awful messages from guys I would have no common ground with. What is POF etiquette? I have no inclination to answer the majority. Should I just ignore, or block & delete? It feels stressful. My experience of the ‘swipe’ sites have definitely been preferable, although still not great.

@Shayelle2009

Absolute zero dating update from me. Since I deleted pof I haven't even thought about any apps. And no random beautiful men have knocked at my front door this week asking to wine and dine me! How disappointing!!

How bizarre! I've had a queue of hot as Fuck men and women round the block here, all offering me my favourite English sparkling wine, tickets in hand for the opera or a cracking gig. Odd. I thought it happened all the time

🙈🙈🙈😜😜😜

@JadedSoJaded

Well, I bit the bullet and joined POF. Eurgh! Quite possibly the worst I’ve been on. So many awful messages from guys I would have no common ground with. What is POF etiquette? I have no inclination to answer the majority. Should I just ignore, or block & delete? It feels stressful. My experience of the ‘swipe’ sites have definitely been preferable, although still not great.

Etiquette .... erm. Not sure 😂

I just ignored anyone I didn't like the look of.

I would ask for up to date photos though as noone seems to have any on that site ... definitely the worst for out of date photos

checking in! thanks for new thread

@JadedSoJaded

Yeh with POF as with all other sites there's a lot of "unpleasant" contacts to work through before you meet anyone interesting.

I think everyone has different policies - I just ignore anyone I don't like the look of?

I personally think in my age range it's a bit OTT/"too much" to write polite messages to everyone explaining you don't want to chat for X reason - the etiquette seems to be just don't reply or start a chat.