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Original poster

To think maybe this is not normal

681 replies

Poppy298 · 12/09/2021 12:45

Long story short I’ve been noticing things that make me feel my relationship is not right. We have been together a long time but these little things have been getting worse. I don’t know if I’m genuinely to blame or if this isn’t normal.
So for example we don’t live together he asks me to do his food shopping (he works full time and me part time) so I am ok with that but if I can’t do it the day and hour he wants it he goes off on one. Today is another example I said I would drop the food shopping off at his work as he’s finishing earlier but his home and work is 30 min from me and I was going food shopping early so I said I would drop it at his work. He was ok with this. He then asked me to call him a taxi as he is working later now so that he could drop his food at his house and go back to work. I booked one online to be dispatched ASAP and taxis in the area were really busy and it took longer than expected. He then rang me to say it’s all my fault he will be late back to work because I should have waited around to take him back home on his lunch break so he wasn’t relying on taxis. He is now not speaking to me. Another thing is I went to collect him some new release trainers I got to the shop as soon as they opened especially so i got them in time, he then asked me to drive to his work (a further 25 minutes) and drop them off. I said I couldn’t do that and I would drop them off on Sunday (today) which I did. He is now telling me if the size is wrong and it doesn’t fit he wants the money off me for the shoes because all pairs have sold out now and if I’d have dropped them off on the day I bought them it wouldn’t have been a problem. He is so angry when he says all this and insults me at the same time. These are just little examples but they happen every day. I have to apologise all the time but I genuinely don’t think I’ve done wrong?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 19/09/2021 12:40

You are detoxing from this awful excuse of a man.

The longer you are away the easier it will become.

Don't entertain anyone connected to him, absolutely none of their business.

Keep the exercise up.
You are doing so well.Flowers

Original poster
Poppy298 · 19/09/2021 13:51

False alarm guys, af has just arrived. Must have just been stress

OP posts:
Youdoyoutoday · 19/09/2021 13:53

Then dance!!

You're absolutely free of this twit!!

Wallywobbles · 19/09/2021 13:53

Thank god for that

billy1966 · 19/09/2021 16:26

Excellent, it was the stress.

Thank goodness, happy days ahead, you are completely free.
Keep posting if it helps at all.

You sound like a great woman with a great future.
Make the most of your course.Flowers

QueenBee52 · 19/09/2021 17:06

Guaranteed ... he will have told people you were unfaithful

QueenBee52 · 19/09/2021 17:07

Admitting being an abusive prick really doesn't fit his own deluded narrative ...

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2021 17:25

He has a friend who works in the local Sainsbury’s on the door and I unfortunately saw him as I went in yesterday. He said oh sorry to hear about you and he told me but that’s not cool you know what you’ve done to him, so I just walked off.

I would be tempted to say 'I don't know what he told you but I left him because, try as I might, I just couldn't get used to such a tiny penis.'

But, yeah, probably best to just walk away.

notlongtillxmas · 19/09/2021 17:31

@WallaceinAnderland

He has a friend who works in the local Sainsbury’s on the door and I unfortunately saw him as I went in yesterday. He said oh sorry to hear about you and he told me but that’s not cool you know what you’ve done to him, so I just walked off.

I would be tempted to say 'I don't know what he told you but I left him because, try as I might, I just couldn't get used to such a tiny penis.'

But, yeah, probably best to just walk away.

Love it ! Or " Oh how embarrassing did he tell you about that night we went dogging and none of the men wanted to have sex with him because of the stench ! "
Original poster
Poppy298 · 19/09/2021 17:38

@WallaceinAnderland

He has a friend who works in the local Sainsbury’s on the door and I unfortunately saw him as I went in yesterday. He said oh sorry to hear about you and he told me but that’s not cool you know what you’ve done to him, so I just walked off.

I would be tempted to say 'I don't know what he told you but I left him because, try as I might, I just couldn't get used to such a tiny penis.'

But, yeah, probably best to just walk away.

This is brilliant 😂😂😂😃😃
OP posts:
Original poster
Poppy298 · 19/09/2021 21:38

Feeling quite low tonight, feel stupid for even saying I miss him. Or should I say who I wanted him to be. I don’t actually miss any of his vileness.
I’ve enquired about the freedom programme but it’s being held online in my area due to covid. Has anyone else done it online or knows anyone who has?

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 19/09/2021 21:45

It's to be expected that it will be a bit bumpy, OP. You won't recover from years of this rubbish immediately, it will take time. Eventually you will start not only to recover but to forgive yourself for everything.

How are you getting on wtih the counselling, did you find someone?

Limejuiceandrum · 19/09/2021 21:46

It’s ok to miss him. No one gets over someone with the click of a finger.
You need to make a list of all the shit things he’s done.
And also read this thread from the beginning over and over.
You are a normal human, so no you can’t turn your feelings off, but you can get angry and you can slowly come to terms with it

AcrossthePond55 · 19/09/2021 22:30

It's perfectly normal to miss him. After all, think about how much of your time and your 'headspace' he took up! Now there are a few empty hours and spaces that you haven't had time to fill. But fill them you will, over time.

There was a line from the movie Tootsie that included these words: "I'm going to feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore". To me, those are very wise words. It doesn't do any good to deny a feeling. It's there. It doesn't mean we have to 'wallow' in it. Just acknowledge it, say "Yep, that's what I'm feeling right now. But it will pass in time". Shed a tear if you want, then blow your nose and find something else to do. Organize your sock drawer, go for a walk, write a manifesto. Anything will help move past that feeling.

MzHz · 20/09/2021 07:56

It’s time to grieve what you never had, nor would ever have with him

Without him in your life though, you’ll heal and one day you’ll see that you have the space to find someone who’s kind and right for you.

QueenBee52 · 20/09/2021 11:40

Many people have done the Freedom Programme 🌸

whynotwhatknot · 20/09/2021 13:45

I believe its been online for a quite a while the freedom program-alot of mn'ers havedone it

Original poster
Poppy298 · 20/09/2021 19:38

I’ve had a text from an unknown number assuming he has another sim to text me off.
I would have got my sister to read it but it already came up on my Lock Screen and because I didn’t recognise the number I carried on reading.
Saying he tried his best with me and he truly loved me blah blah but there is nothing good about me that will ever be enough to make a man happy so he is going to go and live his life and if I want to be friends I should let him know. Wtf ???

OP posts:
GinIronic · 20/09/2021 19:44

Gosh. Now there is an offer you CAN refuse! What a delusional twat.

notlongtillxmas · 20/09/2021 19:48

Wow Poppy
Let's all be sad and miserable at this devastating bit of news from him
🎉 🎈 🎊🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈😆🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈🎊🎉🎈😆🎉🎈🎊🎈

Original poster
Poppy298 · 20/09/2021 20:03

So I accidentally bloody clicked on it so it sent him a read receipt. He was clearly checking to see if I’ve read it. 2 seconds later another. “I pity you I’ve always told you a dog is a dog and a dog will always remain where it pisses and where it shits. Good luck in your life” blocked now.

OP posts:
psbradio2 · 20/09/2021 20:07

If there's nothing good about you then why is he still trying to contact you. Block and delete! Turn off your read receipts too. Even strangers on the internet know what a good egg you are.

ChinstrapBobblehat · 20/09/2021 20:21

So … last night you were feeling low, missing him. And tonight - this. Vile, abusive texts that he’s gone to great lengths to send you. Ever feel like the Universe is telling you something, Poppy?! Stay strong, focus on the future.

And the fact that he’s obviously tying himself in knots just to get to you totally gives the lie to his whole ‘moving on’ bullshit. He’s like that Catherine Tait character repeating ‘Am I bovvered?’, all the while getting more hysterical and ‘bovvered’. Stupid fucker!

I heard Katherine Ryan’s podcast today. She’s a wise woman and talked about letting go of negative feelings as though you’re shrugging off a big, heavy overcoat. Just shrug it off, let it drop on the floor and keep walking - it’s not your shit to carry any more.

WallaceinAnderland · 20/09/2021 20:29

It's all part of the script, ignore.

I really think you should bite the bullet and change your number.

He's an idiot.

ArabellaScott · 20/09/2021 20:44

Even his insults are weak. Doesn't even make sense. Silly twat.