Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Clovertoast

Hi *@SortingItOut* I had an ok day. I visited my parents then went for a meal out with a single friend. She had a very rare free evening. It was nice but I felt like I was forcibly trying not to think about Mr P. This does not come easy to me!

Make it a habit and it will stick!

Clovertoast it gets easier.
Do you keep a diary or like to write things down?
I discovered Future me which lets you send letters to yourself in the future.
If I'm ever feeling lonely or fed up of life/dating or feeling frustrated with a man, then I write myself a letter. At the end I give myself little goals to achieve.

A year later I get an email with the letter & I'm always surprised that I've moved on or done something new. I find it a good way to get rid of negative thoughts

@EchoElephant

Clovertoast it gets easier. Do you keep a diary or like to write things down? I discovered Future me which lets you send letters to yourself in the future. If I'm ever feeling lonely or fed up of life/dating or feeling frustrated with a man, then I write myself a letter. At the end I give myself little goals to achieve.

A year later I get an email with the letter & I'm always surprised that I've moved on or done something new. I find it a good way to get rid of negative thoughts

This is a great idea. I'd been doing it without realising it was a thing! The best thing is to have a mix of small easy to achieve goals up to the expensive / requires more thought goals. I've realised I'm also quite hesitant about practical goals eg getting my extension done or post divorce admin. I just need to move on through it and get it done, piece by piece. And pace myself with all of these goals

I’ve taken myself out for breakfast and I’m sat near a table of 8 guys, all good looking, seem really nice….
Never ever see guys like this on the apps!!

Haha nice men are few and far between on the apps.

@Shayelle2009

I’ve taken myself out for breakfast and I’m sat near a table of 8 guys, all good looking, seem really nice…. Never ever see guys like this on the apps!!

Running club? Cycling club? Any Lycra on view 😱

Nooooo no lycra on view 🤣🤣
I like a man with a butt… no spindly lycra arses haha!

They just look like standard brighton geezers 😍😍
Nice!!

@BelladiMamma

It's hard isn't it. Mine shows genuine interest in my life and always has. Cares what I think about things.

It isn't just banter.

Shayelle2009 surely they cant all be in relationships/married.Where do the single ones hang out and meet people if not on the apps. I wish I knew as it's rare I see any attractive ones on pof or tinder!

Wish I knew too @kerkyra!

@Shayelle2009

They just look like standard brighton geezers 😍😍 Nice!!

I think what we need to do is stage a take over of a building firm or builders merchants and we'd soon get coupled up 😂

[quote ActonSquirrel]@BelladiMamma

It's hard isn't it. Mine shows genuine interest in my life and always has. Cares what I think about things.

It isn't just banter.[/quote]
BeardFlake too. It's easy though from a distance - and I'm also enabling him I guess at not actually creating any proper connections IRL

Mr Cricket wears lycra running tights underneath his shorts when he cycles. He certainly doesn't have a spindly lycra arse mind you lol. 🙈 sadly I think if you're a serious cyclist lycra is going to appear somehow.

Single men hang our in the gym, in the pub, play football/golf/sport, work, that's why we don't see them on the apps.

@BelladiMamma oh my god I’d be in heaven, id just sit and gaze at them all day. And maybe stroke their arms or thighs 😹😹😹

Exactly this about the apps. Most people, single or not, that you might want to get with are busy and have full lives. Like with MrBear, he'd been single for ages and was sort of an the apps but really paying attention to them. He was working full time, had his kids a lot of the time, his dog. MrTattoo is the same, childcare, work, sorting the house out.

Although sadly I really don't like it when a single guy has a house that is a bit of a shell. I'm like, why can't you make this place comfortable? It's not all down to women to 'nest'. It's a real turn off. But I know it's not unusual!

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma oh my god I’d be in heaven, id just sit and gaze at them all day. And maybe stroke their arms or thighs 😹😹😹[/quote]
Oh god 🤦🏻‍♀️ we'd get reported to HR on our first day. 'That woman keeps staring at me'. 😂😂😂

Yeah Computer Geek was constantly busy, work, gym, kids, football, seeing his mates. Mr Cricket is the same. To be fair I'm the same as well (minus kids). I was out with a friend on Friday night, gym induction yesterday and lunch with the family today. Next weekend I'm off out with the Brownies for a watersports day, going for a pedicure with a friend and my younger brother is down.

I think we forget on our quiet days/weekends that we also have busy lives.

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma oh my god I’d be in heaven, id just sit and gaze at them all day. And maybe stroke their arms or thighs 😹😹😹[/quote]
This sounds like a great plan

BeardFlake too. It's easy though from a distance - and I'm also enabling him I guess at not actually creating any proper connections IRL

Mine actually said to me on the phone once text isn't real we should talk more. Then didn't make any effort

Just can't be arsed

@BelladiMamma

I think any decent iron would be busy, with a full life. I wouldn’t date a guy who didn’t have any pals or wasn’t close to his family, another thing that kills any attraction for instantly is when they say to me ‘I’m bored’. Fuck off.

@BelladiMamma would be a good one to be reported for wouldn’t it? 🤣🤣

@EchoElephant

Mr Bad kisser is now Mr Bad Convo. I was aware of it when we met but it's more obvious over text.

Yesterday eve he said "hi, I've been doing xyz. Have a good evening"
I replied and asked about xyz.
All messages after were about him. He didn't ask about me at all.
I said a bit about what I had done and he commented on it.
But in the end I just stopped replying.

Looking back it's always the same.
I'm meeting him sometime this week for date 3. Unless things improve this might be the end.

Shame because he practically built his own house and I could do with someone a bit handy with DIY

@EchoElephant although I too could really use someone who is good at DIY in my life 😆 not asking stuff about me might be turning the amber flag of not great kissing into a full blown red flag. Sorry 😔

I don’t think there is that much distinction between blokes on the dating sites and blokes off the dating sites, except to say you’re always going to get much more of a clue about someone from their in person presence and behaviour. @Shayelle2009 you probably filtered out all the blokes in real life that weren’t for you without a second thought, whereas when you’re on any swiping apps they are pushed at you and it requires a physical action to move them out of the way. It’s the total opposite of the way usual social interactions/introductions have operated for much of our lives. Always feels to me like you’re starting from a position of disconnect and trying too hard to form the connects via online dating.

Guys can anyone help, I'm going round in circles. I'm desperately trying to delete the Facebook dating profile on my android phone and I just can't find how ?
I've tried following all the guides and the wheel that I'm supposed to press for the settings doesn't exist !! Any ideas???

Hello everyone
I missed a whole thread as travelled abroad to
Collect my kids

I thought I had turned tinder off but got back to a few Italians likes !!! God I like Italian men

My obsession is still flaking me , so I’ve decided to try again in my own country !
Problem is I don’t fancy anyone

And Belladi
New complications in my life include the fact that DD only wants to see her Dad once a week and her MH is too fragile for me to leave her alone if I want to date

Yes , same issues this end
No advice lots of