Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Yy to that “disconnect” with apps @HairyArsedMan

It’s such an artificial way of engaging.

And apps are a business - there’s behavioural scientists working to make sure we keep on engaging with the apps and clicking, like one of those “pick up a cuddly toy machines” where you never win anything.

@Allypa

Guys can anyone help, I'm going round in circles. I'm desperately trying to delete the Facebook dating profile on my android phone and I just can't find how ? I've tried following all the guides and the wheel that I'm supposed to press for the settings doesn't exist !! Any ideas???

Sorry I haven't used it, hope someone can come along and give you some advice! Have you googled it ...?

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Hello everyone I missed a whole thread as travelled abroad to Collect my kids

I thought I had turned tinder off but got back to a few Italians likes !!! God I like Italian men

My obsession is still flaking me , so I’ve decided to try again in my own country !
Problem is I don’t fancy anyone

And Belladi
New complications in my life include the fact that DD only wants to see her Dad once a week and her MH is too fragile for me to leave her alone if I want to date

Yes , same issues this end
No advice lots of

Yes. It's quite challenging. Anyone who wants me is going to have to be more than patient ... and to you too

Does anyone else have tinder gold
I accidentally kept the sub on
How can it be I have 3000 likes and not one of them is fit / fanciable

I’m annoyed already

@SpringlikeBunk

Yy to that “disconnect” with apps *@HairyArsedMan*

It’s such an artificial way of engaging.

And apps are a business - there’s behavioural scientists working to make sure we keep on engaging with the apps and clicking, like one of those “pick up a cuddly toy machines” where you never win anything.

Exactly that! The bloody coin just out of reach machine!!

How old is your DD Belladi ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Lol the crimewatch sea of faces. I tried tinder gold and couldn’t bear using it the whole month!

I’m way waaay behind here and so keen to catch-up and see so many new-comers too!

MrE update @SortingItOut @BelladiMamma and @Heartbeats0708 you are all right what i am doing with MrE and Magnet-man is not good at all. For some reason i just cannot get Magnet-man out of my head. He’s back to how he was in the beginning. So odd!. The excitement is back which is what was missing with MrE. I’m really thinking i’m not ready for a relationship! And to add to this confusion, yesterday there was an incident i’m still trying to get to the bottom of with MrE and my DS. They’ve seen each other a fair few times now but yesterday there was an arguement about something that is really very serious (nothing harmful/abusive) and one of them is lying about a detail. I’ve heard both versions. Sorry i can’t share any but i’m in a really strange head-space. I think @iamclearlyamug posted about a change in behaviour from one of her irons that revealed itself after a few dates which has made me realise i just know far too little about MrE. After having tried to have a discussion with MrE and my DS together MrE left and has said to call him later. My DS is unfortunately not always truthful but he is not wavering from his version after having given him the option and ensuring him that i am not/nor will
i be upset with him. I have gone over everything again with my DS and he isn’t changing his version of events. I think my advice said earlier a few (1000) pages ago was that if a relationship is bringing you down and the low’s/confusion are far more frequent then the relationship isn’t worth being in. I echo @SpringlikeBunk you’ve got to get to a place that you are content with not ‘happy happy’ all the time. You have to let emotions flow through you because bottling them up is likely to cause arguements where there shouldn’t be any and you end up falling out with the good people/friends/family that you need in your life.
I’ve no interest to speak to MrE today. And next chance of seeing each other is Wednesday but i’m not going to be following up on that. If he calls/wants to meet then we can because we need to have a conversation again to find out how/if we move forward. At this stage very unlikely the way i’m feeling! SO not the Sunday i predicted i’d be having!
@kerkyra is it you with the lorry driver? ask what Lorry he drives and i’ll tell you if it’s worth pursuing 😂 Only joking go go goooo!

Will get back to the rest of everyone’s posts now!

@Thisisworsethananticpated

How old is your DD Belladi ?

15 so I want to be around for gcse prep and general hand holding. Luckily she has a good friendship circle. Its dyslexia (only just diagnosed!) and MH and her dad ...

I know !!!!! I won’t comment more as don’t want to sound bad but Jesus wept
I’m tentatively messaging one iron

But I’ve learnt a bit and if he doesn’t ask for a meet up I’ll bail soon

It’s so weird how I felt such a strong sexual attraction for my obsession
When It’s only been video call, photos sexting etc

How can i fancy a total stranger that much , and not fancy others

It’s confusing

Mine is asd and 13 , and hates me (not really but he is messed up)
I’m dealing with all the negative poison my ex fed them all summer about me
I knew it would be bad , but he exceeded expectations
Ugh 😑

Sorry it was a few pages back but whoever asked about saying you have kids in bio I have something along lines of "looking to find someone to enjoy my childfree time with" - makes it clear I have them but also indicates I don't expect the two to mix

Well last nights gig was fun. I got chatted up - however he was 32 to my near 45 🤦‍♀️

Mr local has, out of character, been messaging loads asking what im upto etc. Date rearranged for Wed but not holding breath

Just had an unexpected date zero with mr tall. I went for a walk to park so he dropped in for a coffee. We chat so easily but I didn't feel a spark as such. He wants to see me again so I've said a proper date would be good to see how we feel as park meets are just to see if we have stuff in common. He seems happy with this. I'm offering no guarantees but think its worth exploring

Problem is if my date comes off with me local I know I fancy him loads but I don't think he'll be relationship material but he might sway my opinion with Mr tall 🤦‍♀️

Naimee87 I do have the lorry iron but I havent messaged today.I've ummed and ahhed over his pics and I really don't think I fancy him and think I got caught up with actually getting a message from someone local on a Saturday night. I don't want to reply and lead him on!
Oh,what an awful day you're having with Mr E and your son. All I can say is that if there is conflict between them in these early days then whoever was in the wrong,you have to say goodbye to elf. Going forward it is unlikely to work now. But I think you already know this.x

Last summer son(13) fell off his unicycle in the back garden and said shit.Neighbour heard and shouted "language". Son has never forgotten.
Today out in garden neighbour says to me look at the side of my house,there is an egg stuck to it and dried egg running down wall.
I looked up and said oh gosh,I wonder how that got there. Run up to sons bedroom and he looks me in the eye and denies. I said son,I doubt it was you but that is totally unacceptable and awful whoever did it and I'm shocked and embarrassed and whoever did it will not do it again.
I think it was son😒 .They do lie and are sneaky buggers. But what do we do if we aren't sure? I just pick my battles these days.

@Naimee87

I’m way waaay behind here and so keen to catch-up and see so many new-comers too!

MrE update @SortingItOut @BelladiMamma and @Heartbeats0708 you are all right what i am doing with MrE and Magnet-man is not good at all. For some reason i just cannot get Magnet-man out of my head. He’s back to how he was in the beginning. So odd!. The excitement is back which is what was missing with MrE. I’m really thinking i’m not ready for a relationship! And to add to this confusion, yesterday there was an incident i’m still trying to get to the bottom of with MrE and my DS. They’ve seen each other a fair few times now but yesterday there was an arguement about something that is really very serious (nothing harmful/abusive) and one of them is lying about a detail. I’ve heard both versions. Sorry i can’t share any but i’m in a really strange head-space. I think @iamclearlyamug posted about a change in behaviour from one of her irons that revealed itself after a few dates which has made me realise i just know far too little about MrE. After having tried to have a discussion with MrE and my DS together MrE left and has said to call him later. My DS is unfortunately not always truthful but he is not wavering from his version after having given him the option and ensuring him that i am not/nor will
i be upset with him. I have gone over everything again with my DS and he isn’t changing his version of events. I think my advice said earlier a few (1000) pages ago was that if a relationship is bringing you down and the low’s/confusion are far more frequent then the relationship isn’t worth being in. I echo @SpringlikeBunk you’ve got to get to a place that you are content with not ‘happy happy’ all the time. You have to let emotions flow through you because bottling them up is likely to cause arguements where there shouldn’t be any and you end up falling out with the good people/friends/family that you need in your life.
I’ve no interest to speak to MrE today. And next chance of seeing each other is Wednesday but i’m not going to be following up on that. If he calls/wants to meet then we can because we need to have a conversation again to find out how/if we move forward. At this stage very unlikely the way i’m feeling! SO not the Sunday i predicted i’d be having!
@kerkyra is it you with the lorry driver? ask what Lorry he drives and i’ll tell you if it’s worth pursuing 😂 Only joking go go goooo!

Will get back to the rest of everyone’s posts now!

Oh sh1t that doesn't sound good.

I'd be very wary of MrE from this point on. Any adult who 'stands their ground' with someone else's kid is on a stick wicket in my book. Sure, by all means have a quiet word with the parent and think about how you're going to deal with it. But arguing with your girl's DS is not a good look.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Mine is asd and 13 , and hates me (not really but he is messed up) I’m dealing with all the negative poison my ex fed them all summer about me I knew it would be bad , but he exceeded expectations Ugh 😑

Thankfully my DD doesn't want to deal with my ex and his poison so in some ways I'm lucky

SlothmommaL

If you don’t fancy him , you don’t fancy him
It’s funny as now we are making decisions on photos etc - but you met Tall ?
Do people grow on us ? I’m trying to remember but think most of mine have been a fairly instant attraction
Chemistry is weird isn’t it

For me I don't think i want to risk whether somebody grows on me. If I'm not too sure in the first place then I think I bow out gracefully than to go on more dates praying the spark may come,then upset the other person when it usually doesnt.

@Slothmomma

Sorry it was a few pages back but whoever asked about saying you have kids in bio I have something along lines of "looking to find someone to enjoy my childfree time with" - makes it clear I have them but also indicates I don't expect the two to mix

Well last nights gig was fun. I got chatted up - however he was 32 to my near 45 🤦‍♀️

Mr local has, out of character, been messaging loads asking what im upto etc. Date rearranged for Wed but not holding breath

Just had an unexpected date zero with mr tall. I went for a walk to park so he dropped in for a coffee. We chat so easily but I didn't feel a spark as such. He wants to see me again so I've said a proper date would be good to see how we feel as park meets are just to see if we have stuff in common. He seems happy with this. I'm offering no guarantees but think its worth exploring

Problem is if my date comes off with me local I know I fancy him loads but I don't think he'll be relationship material but he might sway my opinion with Mr tall 🤦‍♀️

You don't know til you're a couple of dates in... see if you can meet with them both (again)

@Thisisworsethananticpated

SlothmommaL

If you don’t fancy him , you don’t fancy him
It’s funny as now we are making decisions on photos etc - but you met Tall ?
Do people grow on us ? I’m trying to remember but think most of mine have been a fairly instant attraction
Chemistry is weird isn’t it

When I first met Mr Cricket I thought "yeah he's nice" it wasn't until the the 2nd time I really started to fancy him then the 3rd time I saw him I was somewhat hooked lol. Must be something about sweaty men in gym kit that I like 🤣.

Computer Geek was completely different, I fancied him straight away.

Computer Geek was completely different, I fancied him straight away no shit

Did you fancy his online persona or his actual real life persona immediately

I’m trying to be more open , and simultaneously more picky

I don't know. I've never felt a meet in a park is conducive to knowing if there's a spark but more a meet to see if its worth going on a proper date - thus zero date. I've made no guarantees and worded it that it would be worth doing a proper date to see how we feel. I don't think either of us have anything to lose on doing this but not sure if doing wrong thing now if didn't feel like jumping his bones instantly 🤷‍♀️

Thankfully my DD doesn't want to deal with my ex and his poison so in some ways I'm lucky

You know I was thinking , I encourage my children to love their dad
He seems to encourage them to hate me
Twat 🦠

But life and parenting after divorce ain’t for the faint hearted is it

Slothmomma

Don’t listen to me ! I’m totally clueless
Do what you want to do xxx

@Naimee87 I'm sorry to hear an incident occurred, it doesnt sound great regardless of who is telling the truth.
Why is Mr E arguing with your son? That's a huge red flag.

How cone Mr E has met your son so early on? Do you think your son has picked up on anything between you and him and your thoughts?

I think its usually 3 months into a relationship before their true colours show, how far along are you?