Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SortingItOut wise words there. Totally agree it ultimately can bring more to the relationship when someone has their own time and interests too.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I took the scary first step and joined Bumble! The guys on there seem quite sporty (which I’m not) and almost too good-looking (I prefer slightly geeky). But I’m in no rush.

@VanGoghsDog

Update:

21 live matches on Tinder who've not messaged (I reckon one in three I swipe right are a match).

Last night had three active chats - one prob a scammer, but if not lives in Paris so pointless anyway; one is a "sub" who wants a domme (I made him refer to me as Mistress, so that was fun) and one I had a good chat with, he was super friendly, good vibe etc, but he is an hour away and despite chatting last night now gone quiet.

Four other chats that have stalled. One seemed pretty promising but there you go.

MrWG has been away two weeks and is away for a few more days, might see him 10th. He does check in and sends me photos of what he's up to and a pin on Google maps so I can see where he is. Asks how my days have been etc. I miss him :(
Can't speak on the phone as he's in a shared dorm thing, no privacy etc.

Other guy from walking group who asked for my number to meet up and do something didn't do much except a few texts. We have a quiz soon so I texted and asked if he would be on my team, which he agreed to. He's on the walk tomorrow so I'll catch up with him then. (MrWG not going to quiz I don't think). He added me on Facebook today too.

He's fun but I don't really fancy him.

Are you on any of the other apps or just Tinder? If this batch of matches from bumble don't come to anything once I'm 100% I'll be dipping my toes in Tinder alongside Bumble. Not sure I'll bother with Hinge again?

@FireandBrimstone

Welcome *@crochetmonkey74*. I've also appreciated all the ideas floating around in the last couple of days.

Looking to join the local gym tomorrow!

@Languidleopard thanks for your positivity. Good luck on date zero tomorrow - anyone who can spell definitely gets extra points.
Your spidey senses are worth listening to re Mr Nightshift.

@VanGoghsDog - 21!!!! Wowzers. I think I've had maybe 3 in two months.

@BelladiMamma so are you putting Mr DJ back in the running now?

@dancemom it's going well! Great to read.

I'll see how it pans out with MrDJ. Not sure what prompted him to get back in touch although first question was 'how is your recovery going' so maybe it was a genuine 'Bella needs space' break.

MrGig has just put a new photo up on WhatsApp. I'm feeling grateful that it's not as hot as the ones he put on bumble as I was worried I was going to get into a BeardTwirl situation of me lusting over him 😂.

Mr Bad kisser is now Mr Bad Convo.
I was aware of it when we met but it's more obvious over text.

Yesterday eve he said "hi, I've been doing xyz. Have a good evening"
I replied and asked about xyz.
All messages after were about him. He didn't ask about me at all.
I said a bit about what I had done and he commented on it.
But in the end I just stopped replying.

Looking back it's always the same.
I'm meeting him sometime this week for date 3. Unless things improve this might be the end.

Shame because he practically built his own house and I could do with someone a bit handy with DIY

@VanGoghsDog that's an impressive amount of matches!

I seem to have exhausted Bumble, or possibly it's exhausted me? 🤔 I don't seem to be getting any matches any more.

I've got a busy week ahead with work so I've snoozed it for now. A friend has offered to take some new pictures of me the next time we meet up and if I'm feeling up to it I might use them to take the plunge on Tinder.

I feel like I've lost my OLD mojo tbh and need a short break from it to recharge my self esteem.

@EchoElephant He's not a catch is he?
Do you have to do Date 3? Sounds like it will be a waste of time.

This came up on Instagram and I thought it was relevant

Hi All, just checking into the new thread. Nothing to see here but have tentatively re downloaded Bumble...good to see all my old friends on there 😂 literally men are all the same as they were 4 yrs ago when I first tried it.
Just been up to Liverpool to see if the talent is better up there, can confirm it seems much the same 🤷🏼‍♀️

SortingItOut I actually kind of like him. If only he could learn to kiss and take a bit more interest in me!

In person he's funny & interesting to talk to. The convo flowed better although I was aware I was prompting him to ask questions.
I don't think he's got a lot of dating experience. Plus he seemed nervous.

And he's 57 but still looks quite hot!

But I know little niggles now will turn into bigger issues later. So I'm happy to meet again and see what happens.

Techgirldating I'm visiting family in Liverpool. Thought I'd have a browse through the apps.
Same old faces as down in the south!

It has been a great Saturday yesterday.

After my anguish at going places alone, that has all swiftly changed.

I now have 2 sets of Christmas plans to see shows with different friends and plans to go to the opera in the autumn with 2 friends. Bring it on!!!

Still reeling a bit from my friend and her drunk ex she is back together with. Bit worried to be honest.

Honestly I can't be arsed with the apps right now but then I won't get anyone if i don't try. Feel in 2 minds about it.

@EchoElephant should have added I didn’t go up to Liverpool to do the swiping thing... I was visiting my friends family. But yes same old potato heads 😂

@EchoElephant texting isn't for everyone and its hard for some people to keep the conversation going.

Don't be swayed by his hotness 😂
What's his relationship history? If he was long term married he might have forgotten women need good conversation🤷‍♀️

I’ve still not been tempted to go back on any apps. They’re horrendous and I can’t face doing that to myself right now.
Kudos to anyone on there!!

Sadly I'm struggling with the temptation to keep sending BeardFlake now BeardTwirl some flirty messages.

Really need to move on 😩😩😩😂😂😂

@Naimee87 thinking of you with your magnet man. But as others say, best to be transparent with MrE otherwise you're going to set yourself up for feeling guilty and lots more!

@BelladiMamma I get it.

I'm still doing it with Mr Penpal. When he does it first.

Do your flakes reciprocate when you do.

@Shayelle2009 nor me, if I ever think about it I remember how they make me feel and that brings me to my senses.

I now have a few matches on Bumble. Dating is so much more complicated now than when I first tried OLD in my early 20s, so not really getting my hopes up much.

Not a lot to report here.
Decided to give on-line fitness classes a go first, before I decide whether to join a gym. I went for a moderate 3 mile walk the other day and was disappointed how unfit I felt (after a 6 week break) despite giving up smoking! I've put on 7lbs and feel every one of them.
I sent MrNoKids a 'thanks for understanding' reply to him being ok with waiting. I'm not going to msg any more. If he wants to maintain chat, he can instigate it. If it fades then so be it.
I've joined a couple of FB groups that do my hobby and I've noticed that individuals post where they are going and does anyone want to join, which is great news as I'm not a big group person.

[quote ActonSquirrel]@BelladiMamma I get it.

I'm still doing it with Mr Penpal. When he does it first.

Do your flakes reciprocate when you do.[/quote]
Yes. Have been texting a lot this week - not as much as before but still a lot. Talk of camper vans and self care. Not flirtatious. Am trying to wait till the moment passes

Hi @SortingItOut I had an ok day.
I visited my parents then went for a meal out with a single friend. She had a very rare free evening.
It was nice but I felt like I was forcibly trying not to think about Mr P.
This does not come easy to me!

@FireandBrimstone only a month, so I know it is probably far too early, but I kind of wanted to draw a line in the sand and I suppose, know that I wasn't on the scrap heap at 42. I think I'll leave it for a while now.

Exactly @Isitreallyme177 and like you, they haven’t brought anything too great or fruitful into my life. Just a tonne of angst! 😣