Dating thread 212 - more milk tray, less flakes

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

No irons here either.

Still reeling a bit from last night and my friends bfs poor behaviour.

Have had a great morning though. Gym × 2 classes. Lunch with gym friends and planning to see things at the theatre and booking tickets 🎟

I'm okay without a guy right now.

Mr Penpal has been talking but it's cool

Thanks for the new thread @Shayelle2009

Not much to update my end. Mr local has been messaging and has asked that we rearrange our date for Wednesday. I've said I've not made plans yet so yes but we'll see

Returning iron who i stepped away from as he was new to old said yesterday that he could probably do a meet today. It sounded wishy washy so I said just let me know. Havent heard anything as expected

Still chatting with new iron who I will name Mr tall and am enjoying our chats. We've scheduled in a call in the week and if goes ok will do a coffee as he's fairly local too.

Am off out tonight to see a band and check out whether any prospects in real life 😄

I’m still single! I was on the thread briefly in 2019 when life was normal. 😭 I’ve just realised that with assorted lockdowns my last date was a year ago! I didn’t see the point in being on the apps when I couldn’t even meet my friends properly. I’ve had 20+ dates over a couple of years but feel so loathe to start up again with the disappointing offerings (looking at late 40s to late 50s) - men who couldn’t organise a p* up in a brewery, ghosters, the highly probably marrieds, and the entitled ones. I’m rather taken with the guy who’s designing a bathroom for me, and we get on really well. He’s definitely single, and ambitious etc. It would be lovely to think we could take it further when I’m no longer his client, but I can’t think like that or I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. I just can’t face the apps!!

Can I join?!

Im OLD currently...

Had been dating a guy who is a massive flake and hasn't contacted me for a while so I'm pretty sure that's over. It's a shame as I really liked him!

Went on a date with someone else on Thursday, I had a good time but we've barely been in contact since.

Im continuing to OLD but I find the whole thing so tricky!

Looking forward to sharing stories and getting some tips!

Long time lurker Checking in :)

Lots of swiping lots of messing, little to no replies.
One iron one be been messaging for a while now ( I'll call her miss diy) holds promise, we both talk about a date zero but unable to set in stone yet due to childcare issues.
It's nice to read the opinions from the opposite side and find that it's not just me being very unlucky 

Where are you? I’m sure I’m unlucky enough to be in the worst place ever? Like panning for gold in a slurry pit 🤔

Sorry I’m just learning about posting! My previous post was directed at banghead

Checking in. Thanks for the new thread Shayelle. Not sure if anyone have weekend dates? Good luck if you do. I'm baking a birthday cake for DS and then off to try my friend's hot tub. Paused the apps, very disillusioned.

Back from my gym induction, the guy that showed me round was one of the personal trainers and also a Hatton Academy trained boxing coach. Think we hit it off when I mentioned my boxing gloves were in my car 🤣. He said if I ever feel like a boxing session and he is about just grab him and he will grab his pads and we can have a good session. I've also just signed up to a 1-2-1 pt session with him once a month (he is going to put some boxing in my programme) I think we will get on. I like this gym already, the staff are so friendly and approachable, and actually on the floor (unlike my old one where they hid in the office). It was busier than my old gym but that's a good sign.

There were also some nice men on there 🤣😄🙈.

Just checking in with the new thread, thank you @Shayelle2009 , great title!

Welcome to newbies and not-so-newbies alike!

Nothing much to add here, I had another lovely evening with MrMud on thursday which was date 5. No red flags, but a few little things have cropped up that I need to think about. I think I'm being overly critical really and trying to find fault, but a few little incompatibilities have emerged, but nothing that can't be dealt with easily I think (or hope!)
Things like his house is messy and disordered, but I like things neat, tidy and cosy. He is always on the go and finds it hard to sit still on an evening, whereas I'm more of a relax in my pyjamas on the sofa kinda person.
I'm sure we can find a happy medium between us though and I know he's aware of his messy house as he is decluttering this weekend and making his lounge more "homely" he says!

Checking in tx for new thread

@Clovertoast

For single woman stuff to do. I watch stuff, I go for random days out or cheap nights away to places (hosteling) see art , meditate , love obsessing over clothes. Just whatever takes my fancy!

I don’t have loads of friends as I’m introverted and find the dynamics can be challenging to manage! I’ve learned to just “listen to my own emotions” regarding what I fancy or don’t fancy.

I like trying new stuff, I’ve booked in for a massage next week as I know I’m missing physical touch.

I’ve struggled with MH (which often tends to tie in with dating/relationship situations) and one good fact I’ve learned is to “just do stuff even if I don’t feel like it”? .

I think often when I’m feeling blue I get impatient and think “one good weekend SHOULD clear my head” but really it’s a longer process than that?

Like at the start of this summer post lockdown I wasn’t really enjoying my days out (and kept wanting the quick emotional fix/hit of a relationship/date!)

But my mood shifted as I kept on at it? Also feelings are just feelings - it’s ok to have internal down days and feel lonely a lot of people are the same!

Like when I started meditating I thought the goal was to turn myself into some happy sort all the time - but the point is not to be “happy happy” but just to learn to accept ones negative emotions or loneliness and not want to “cure” them . Sometimes even if I’ve been to the gym and meditated I still feel awful but that’s fine - things pass.

Hi jaded I'm in Cumbria, and about 1.5 hours from the nearest city....as you say - looking for gold in a slurry tip 😆 there's just not the numbers up here.

Where are you jaded? I'd be interested to find somewhere potentially worse than here for dating....

Checking in.
Back from London but will be last trip with son for a while.He's bloody hard work. Give me strength! Came down at 7am in old joggers and I had to bribe him to wear jeans and after the museum moaned he wanted a mc Donald's and then kept picking at me ie you have a bit of food on your face. In the end I told him he would have to change his ways or he would never get a girlfriend.yes,I'm a bad mum.I feel I've done my bit for his education anyway.He has asd but no excuse to be rude.
It was fun riding the buses all the way from Tower bridge to BigBen.
Then I stopped at homebase and bought 2 reduced price fig trees for £10 each,gardening is my new thing that has kept me going over the past year.iI adore it.
No irons but a few matches on tinder but no one has messaged.

Sorry,some of that doesn't make sense,I'm shattered!

@kerkyra

Checking in. Back from London but will be last trip with son for a while.He's bloody hard work. Give me strength! Came down at 7am in old joggers and I had to bribe him to wear jeans and after the museum moaned he wanted a mc Donald's and then kept picking at me ie you have a bit of food on your face. In the end I told him he would have to change his ways or he would never get a girlfriend.yes,I'm a bad mum.I feel I've done my bit for his education anyway.He has asd but no excuse to be rude. It was fun riding the buses all the way from Tower bridge to BigBen. Then I stopped at homebase and bought 2 reduced price fig trees for £10 each,gardening is my new thing that has kept me going over the past year.iI adore it. No irons but a few matches on tinder but no one has messaged.

I hope that despite your DS driving you nuts you enjoyed yourself. The weather was nice wasn't it?

@JadedSoJaded @mrgoodatfixingrhings @ItsPartyThyme and anyone else who's new - welcome 🤗 and look forward to hearing about your adventures in OLD

I'm back from meeting Mr Colleague, and thankfully his in person communication is much better (in fact, lovely) than his messaging. He is as I remember - rugged and right into his fitness. I definitely am no gym bunny and the mum tum would have been plain to see 😕. As there was lots of catching up to do, there was no shortage of chat, but nothing 'datey'. At the end he said something about 'if you want to do another coffee...' tricky to read whether that's as friends or something else. I have sent a quick nice to see you text, let's see what kind of reply there is. I would definitely meet him again and am relieved it went better than I thought. I was really nervous!

Thanks BelladiMamma ,despite son being a fun sponge at times it's always been this way and the only way I cope is by extra positive in life so yes,I had a fab time. Someone was singing in Leicester Square and I thought it was some drunk karaoke but nope,it was a singer 😄,I sat there in the sun and just sang along much to sons disgust.
I have a match and a message,ex army guy who is now a lorry driver,8 miles away.Two attractive pics but one not so good at all,so if we ever get to meet hope he is like the first two!

Just back from an awesome fourth date with Mr Irish, I like him a lot! He's so honest and upfront, it's refreshing!

Sounds great @kerkyra new match sounds very manly
Yeh agree you just need to grab moments where you can!

Welcome everyone new!

@FireandBrimstone

Glad meet was good, apps and online can be very intense compared to “real life” ones. I guess just getting to know him a bit better in a low key way is the main thing now!

Woop woop @kerkyra you did it!! Knew you’d be fine 😊

@dancemom sounding good ‘date 4 - leave you wanting more’ 😆😆

Single woman/no kids activities.. I like to plan my time.. where do I like to go, what do I like to do.. I’m a big walker so usually weekends involve LOTS of that! Either coast or city, if you have to travel a bit to get somewhere that’s all good 🙂

What is wrong with me? All this talk of matches makes me want to go back on the apps 😆😆😆

Just having a chat with @Shayelle2009 and reading your MO @SpringlikeBunk and I'm seriously thinking of getting another phone number for OLD & not giving my real name until after date zero. Could seriously take some of the stress out of it for me ... and use photos that I don't use anywhere else

Another single woman/no kids, at weekends I take myself off on little random journeys sometimes I know where I'm going other times I get in my car and just drive. I've found some lovely places on my random travels. I'm lucky that I can get to places like the Surrey Hills, the South Downs etc pretty easily. The views are pretty amazing so I do just sit and admire it a lot of the time. I also love a good mooch around the shops (I try not to do that at the weekends though).