@buttercup1001
Category thank u for your kind words and others I do appreciate all the things you've said.its been a long 3 yrs with everything I am trying to balance it all out and pick the right time I know there is never a right time in situations like this but I need to do it when I know I'm in a safe persision and mentally ready which will be soon.i have a direct number for a woman's aid worker who I was involved with 2 years ago he has gone to prison before due to assualting me and he went quilty when I turned up to give evidence so I didn't have to go threw video link etc I know I shouldn't have gone bk then but he sent me all the sorrys and he won't do it again etc this relationship has been such a rollercoaster and I know he's abusive but he makes/made me feel loved I know the voilence isn't showing love but the other side to him was really loving I'm not making excuses for him and I agree with all its not right what he does.he checks my body for bruises and wierd stuff like that thinkin I've been with men well here's not here I know it has to stop and I am trying by best to do it at right time when my son and me r in a safe environment etc because I got his stuff here which makes it more awkward if his stuff wasn't here and he had no ties here it would be slightly easier.
I think many of us can relate, I certainly can, the only reason I would urge you to not wait, is because I now know what I should of done sooner/on the spot and didn't. Obviously every case is different and you know the individual better than anyone. And one can not tell you to just do this and that, because it could well put you in danger. But it's mainly about, taking action, so that when you do it, it will get something done on the spot/ASAP, and safeguarding you and your son.
Like if for example like they have told other people, to not let the person in, and then call the police, this will mean different things for different people, as it depends on the person's reaction when you do that. And to know that he can't get in the house and do you any harm.
It is sad to read all of the posts. As it just reminds me of myself, making excuses, etc.
It is hard when someone can be nice and there is some form of normality day to day, which does happen for many, I don't call it acting etc, it's confusing and upsetting more than anything, as you do wish that they could be like that all the time, and it's frustrating why they have to spoil it by being the other way too. Whichever side to the person is their true side, the bad outweighs any good.
I have watched countless women who have been so brainwashed and controlled by the guys crap, put them before their child/children in a family, of course if you are scared that has to be taken seriously, but even then, it is clear to see and understand, why people like Social Services look upon that person as being involved in the whole situation, because it becomes about are you that stuck in it and nothing makes you see sense, or, where you had the power and ability to do something, you didn't.