Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

@buttercup1001

Sorry I am reading threw as much as I can as he's here .so time is limited I would pick my son over him 500% in his fire.its my low self esteem which keeps me hanging on to my partner I know I sound selfish but all his stuffs here it would be impossible to end it him moving his stuff out and it ending all happy I will have difficulty as my family don't support me being with him they speak to me etc I'm close to my mum but if I mention him she shuts me off as she doesn't agree.i am going to try and book a appointment tomorrow with gp as my son's bk in school so I will he doing the school run and my normal routine will be bk to normal as my partner goes when my son is here for school etc.

They don't support you being with him, but they may be a big support to leave him. Have you ever asked for their support to leave? I know what I'd do if one of my DC said, "I'm scared mum and I need your help to leave 'D'P.". I'd move heaven and earth to get their out of there and safe.

I've felt so so sad reading your thread. I know scenario's like this happen and people, usually women or children, die. I couldn't imagine choosing to see anyone over my DC. You have done that, you've chosen to have very limited contact with your son in order to keep this man in your life. You can't change this man, you can't save him, all you achieve by staying is him slowly destroying you, increasing harm to your son and potentially your death and maybe your son's too if he loses it on a day you have your DS with you. Love, even if this love was real, isn't worth having at the cost you're paying.

Is he there with you now?

This guy went to prison for assaulting a child ?? And you're trying to get him to change to be a family man? Sorry but you must be thick as mince.

www.policeconduct.gov.uk/sites/default/files/Documents/research-learning/Silent_solution_guide.pdf

www.bbc.com/news/uk-47847735

The last link is about a woman who was strangled by her ex partner.

Use the guide then do this.
Do it now
The police will come.
You can tell them her has hurt you you want him out.
Stop making excuses about pretending to book appointments and being stressed. Just do it start your life again

He's on his way back now from his counciling meeting .I got my son then in the morning for school so going to get his uniform ready etc I can't come on the internet when my partner here he s cuss me of chatting to men when I don't chat to anyone I've come off all social medias

Well don’t let him in.

Stop making excuses.

@buttercup1001

He's on his way back now from his counciling meeting .I got my son then in the morning for school so going to get his uniform ready etc I can't come on the internet when my partner here he s cuss me of chatting to men when I don't chat to anyone I've come off all social medias

So he is going to be around when your son is home?

Even if not, how are you going to explain all the stuff of his now in your house when an inquisitive six year old asks you about it?

So you've given up your child full time for this abuser.
It's a well known fact that 'strangling' can lead to Murder.
Do you want to leave your son ?

I've only read the first page.

Leave him and with any luck he'll come good on his suicidal threats.

I hate blokes like this.

If this thread is real you are living in a prison OP.

OP most relationships do not end happily. But they still have to be done sometimes. Break ups are a part of life.

If you actually mean are worried that he might try to kill you - then news flash, staying with him will not make you any safer in the long run.

It is best you simply put your keys in the locks so he cannot get in. As for his stuff, you can put it out for him to collect when he is gone. Or if that worries you too much, you could pay for one months storage at a storage place for it and post him the key recorderd delivery. After that month it is up to him to decide where to put it.

Seriously op, no one is going to save you unless you are ready to save yourself.

I've skim read most of your replies.

Honestly you, your son or both of you are going to end up dead if you stay with this guy.

Among the multitude of red flags the strangulation thing just tops the lot, plus he's got form for it.
Get away from him.

@buttercup1001

That's my son there I love him to bits and I idealise him.the one regret is meeting this guy I wish I never.ive got involved with him emotially and can't get out of it.i did give him money for his drug use at the beginning he use to beg me etc steal of me he hasn't done that for past two years as he has been seeking help of his conclilers.

[Post edited by MNHQ to remove photograph]

No you don't, you don't give a shit about the poor lad who didn't have a choice to be born to a woman who puts anything else above his welfare.

You do have a choice, and your choice is to live with a child abusing crack head who knocks you about.

If you really can't leave the guy at least allow you child to have a life free from the chaos so that he doesn't end up repeating this cycle you're creating.

Your title says "help" - what do you want help with?
You dont want to leave him?

He's just come back accusing me of sleeping with my neighbour .said he feels like crying see what I mean I feel sad for him now

You feel sad for him that -

• he's making things up to be angry about
• pretending to be hurt over stuff you haven't done.

Do you not see how fucked up that is?

What do you want op? You keep telling us what he does and says

• what do you want ??

@buttercup1001

He's just come back accusing me of sleeping with my neighbour .said he feels like crying see what I mean I feel sad for him now

No. I don't.

He is fucking mental.

Call the police and get him out.

This is the most frustrating thread I've ever come across on here because you've literally asked for help and advice but refuse to act on any of it.

He thinks you're the kind of woman who shags neighbours for the couple of hours he's out of the house. He HATES you. He thinks you and other women are whatever vile words he probably calls you - slag / whore etc. He HATES women. Including you.

He doesn't love you and you gave up your child for him. So did two other women. He's a monster. You're a fool. Start making better decisions or he will kill you.

You shouldn't feel SAD FOR HIM that he's just accused you of fucking a neighbour when he's popped out for a few hours.

You should be LIVID HE THINKS SO LITTLE OF YOU.

Your poor boy and your poor mum I can't imagine how frustrating and terrifying your refusal to see him for what he is must have been for her.

Why do people still think this is real 😂

OP knows he’s abusive!!! She was told of his violent past by the Police! He has attempted to murder women prior to OP. She knows this. She continued to walk INTO this relationship in full knowledge. Nothing anyone is going to say on this thread is going make any difference. I’m not even sure why OP Posted or what she expects from this thread. It’s madness! I’m all out of sympathy and understanding on this one which really takes some doing! An innocent child is in the mix here and as the child of a very violent alcoholic father it’s making my blood boil.

Why have you put this vile man OVER your son?

Your poor child.

Get out and get your damn son back before he kills you.

It’s really hard to have sympathy in this situation because usually in an abusive relationship, it starts off wonderful and the woman is brainwashed over time to accept more and more awful behaviour.

But right from the start the op was told very clearly by police that this man was a known abuser who had a history of strangulation and other violence, yet she still made an active choice to be involved with him

I just hope that little boy has lots of love and stability in his life and can one day be kept far away from this whole toxic mess.

I had sympathy for you until you posted that you let your son stay with his dad over this man.
Call the police get him arrested and ask for help with a safe house or hostel to move on and get your child back.
As the child gets older he will see quite clearly you have chosen a violent abuser over your own biological child. That will make him feel like shit quite frankly.
Wise up.

He's making stuff up to be angry about, so he has the excuse to hit you, and you feel sorry for him. Ok then