Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

He gets £1100 a month to take spice and abuse women and children?! And you think he has the capacity to change?! Why would he, why bother getting a job or getting therapy or trying to become a better person?

I don't think you have the capacity to change either. You keep posting pathetic updates and ignoring the fact you actively chose a violent heroin addict for a boyfriend. PTSD? The only PTSD that is happening is to your son.

You will never leave him. You don't want to. You will get pregnant and hope he will change and magically become some semblance of a normal person. He won't. He will end up killing you. You will lose your child(ren) and rightly so. You can't be any sort of mother whilst you are so in thrall to this specimen.

It's sickening.

@buttercup1001

Because he has ptsd it makes me feel sorry for him me Just slinging him out

Don't you feel more sorry for your son though?

@buttercup1001

Because he has ptsd it makes me feel sorry for him me Just slinging him out

You aren't, he has somewhere to live already!!! Ffs.

When I first meet him and it wasn't serious he was addicted to heroin really bad I use to give him money because he was unwell etc felt sorry for him left myself skint and I had my son here then also .and now he's changed from the drug scene he says what have u ever got me.he says I got u loads of stuff etc.but he pinches it he doesn't pay for it got me perfume which was of a dodgy bloke in town and was fake becauei said babe it's a fake he went mad and called me ungtaful.he forgets all the time I gave him money for heroin and left myself skint .yes I was weary of spending on him due to always being skint with feeding his habit .I've got him tracksuit and trainers and a ring and I said please try and keep some of your Money as I will be short he spent it on the bookies but I reckon on crack. He always tells me what have I ever got him I feel like saying remememer all the times I gave u moeny die to u witbdraeingt but I darnt say that he will go off on one.this is the first birthday hes had that I have spent money on him.and he spends all his in the bookies .

Oh ffs. Stay with him then. You are not listening to a word.

I am I am trying to read everyone's posts and reply.yes I feel for my son more than him I think and I know this sounds selfish that because he's with his dad I know he's safe etc.i would be we let my son be taken in to adotpion or any kind of way where I would never see him until he was older.i just suffer with stress and when thi GS get stressful like me ending it with him I won't deal with it and end up feeling like a reclos e where i Won't want to go out etc .and I gott to as I do the school run etc.

youvegottenminuteslynn. He wants to end the tenancy at the hostel and kicked off lastnight when I said no don't do that legs see how things go as they are.he then went on to say so your telling me your not serious u r planning to finish with me he gets so angry and shouts that I'm scared to breathe the wrong way he will kick off.

You've been giving your smackhead boyfriend money you can't afford to buy drugs?

Are you sure you're not on drugs too?

You're a lost cause. I'm out. I'm sure I'll end up reading how this turns out on the news.

@buttercup1001

youvegottenminuteslynn. He wants to end the tenancy at the hostel and kicked off lastnight when I said no don't do that legs see how things go as they are.he then went on to say so your telling me your not serious u r planning to finish with me he gets so angry and shouts that I'm scared to breathe the wrong way he will kick off.

So call. The. Police.

Before you end it - call them before and get their advice on how to end it as safely as possible. Don't give him any signs you're going to do so. Get yourself prepared and the police to help you. Then do whatever they tell you to do to leave him safely.

You're either on drugs or making this up for attention.

No one is this wilfully and deliberately ignorant.

You are wasting everyone's time here, it's insulting and offensive.

I hope the pair of you are on SS's radar and are not allowed near ANY children, including your own innocent child.

No I don't take drugs never have.im not like him completely different ppl that's y he claims I'm diffrent and that he will change for me as his other previous partners were all on some kind of substance.

That's my son there I love him to bits and I idealise him.the one regret is meeting this guy I wish I never.ive got involved with him emotially and can't get out of it.i did give him money for his drug use at the beginning he use to beg me etc steal of me he hasn't done that for past two years as he has been seeking help of his conclilers.

[Post edited by MNHQ to remove photograph]

You can get out of it, you are choosing not to.

I've reported your post, not sure it's a good idea to have a picture of your child on a very public forum that can now be linked to you.

You're never going to leave him so what's the point of this thread?

Jorisbonson Ok how do I remove the pic then? I am going to try and fix this problem the post was originally about my throat as I was concerned as if my mum or family new she wouldn't be pleased.i went threw all the history of the relationship so everyone new what has gone on etc to have a bigger picture of the relationship.

You were told to seek medical attention and didn't.

How DARE you post a photo of your son as some sort of proof of your love for him when you have literally chosen a violent drug addict over seeing him?!!!

You've given money that the state gave to you to help look after your son to help a scumbag buy heroin and crack, sorry, now he's better behaved and just on the crack and spice... how long before he's got you addicted too? You are already addicted to him so it's not exactly a leap.

You shouldn't be anywhere near your son.

Yes I am going to try and book a appointment tomorrow when I drop my son of to school .

Christ op. Really struggling to have sympathy for you, you appear to be so desperate for a man that you've completely abandoned your young child. Absolute shame on you. Never thought I'd say this but I'm relieved you had a miscarriage and you won't be bringing another pour soul into this sorry mess. This man will abuse you and any child under his roof. Hopefully he will go ahead with his threats and top himself.

Can you not see how your words about how much you love your son and your actions do not match? If you love your son you will end your relationship with this abuser and start to try and make amends with your son.

If you could wave a magic wand right at this moment what would you wish for?

That your son is back with you full time?
That you don't feel like you're walking on eggshells?
That your money is yours to do with as you want?
That you don't have to have another child if you don't want to?
Your relationship with your mum improves?
That you can come and go as you please?
You can talk to whoever you like without accusations?

All of this is within your power to achieve but you will have none of it whilst you stay with your abuser. You are not a bystander in your own life. This is your story - at any given moment you have the power to say "this isn't how my story ends", but you need to be brave.

Ending the relationship will be hard short term. Staying with him will be hard long term. Pick your hard before you sink any lower and are tied to him permanently with a child or worse, your beautiful, kind, loving son ends up motherless - he deserves better than that doesn't he?

@buttercup1001

No I strictly never have him round when I have my son and I have stuck to the arrangements with child services.and am doing everything I can I really want him to change becaise I can see it in him that he can be a decent person I have been so depressed be wise of it trying to make ends meet .I feel trapped because I love my son dearly and him .

you don't love your son clearly !! such a stupid selfish woman you are!!! your poor little boy xx

@buttercup1001

No I don't take drugs never have.im not like him completely different ppl that's y he claims I'm diffrent and that he will change for me as his other previous partners were all on some kind of substance.

Still strangled you and was the cause you lost custody though. Just like the other two women. No different.

If I could wave a magic wand I would wish I never meet my partner and that's the truth I've got so caught up in it with him that it's compeltly draining me leaving him

Who do you feel more sorry for - a junkie who abuses people and children, abuses and assaults his GFs and is an all round boil on the arse of humanity who doesn't deserve the air he breathes

Or

Your poor child who will reach an age where he realises that you chose a drug addicted abuser over him?

Which one is harder? Explaining to your son that you chose this prick over him or dealing with the fall out for a short time while you eject the drugged up arsehole from your life?

Grow the fuck up, get some balls and sort out your priorities because they're seriously messed up.
The amount of good advice you've had on this thread has astounded me - but not as much as your blatant selfishness to do something to sort out your life and do the right thing by your child.

You're still choosing to fund and support this loser who should be locked up and the key thrown away, but you 'cant sling him out' because you'd 'feel bad'. I'm sure you'll feel bad when you're hospitalised or murdered by him.

You keep mentioning relationship.

This is not a relationship. You are being abused.

I understand that it can be hard to acknowledge that's what it is, when you are the victim but it is clear to everyone else from the details you have given.

Please look at this as a starting point

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en/What-is-abuse

Please seek help from an organisation that can help you come to terms with this and help you protect you and your son before it is too late. You could loose your son and your life.

Strangulation is a very clear warning sign. The common factor in his behaviour is him. Not you or how other previous partners of his have behaved. He chooses his behaviour. No one can change that but him regardless of you changing how you act so as 'not to set him off'.

Please contact Women's aid or Refuge. They understand and will help you.