Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

No I'm not content bring part time mum it's just what I'm holding on to hoping something will piece together where I can help partner and have my son but I know the odds of that r very low .my while head is completely damaged and messed up from all of this I been with this man 3 yrs the first year it was easy as he was so on to drugs I hardly saw him so it was now and again.now he's come off the hard drive and spending more time with me etc I've sen More of him .he's trying to change his drug use has changed dramatically but his temper remains the same.

@buttercup1001

Sorry I meant I do not want to be in relationship but the half love I have for him and me feeling sorry for him is making me stay .

In other words you'd rather be in the relationship than do what is necessary to leave.

You don't have good enough judgement to have unsupervised access to your son. That's what it comes down to.

I hope someone reports whats going on, because you obviously won't.

Strangles you.
Smokes crack.
Thinks you sleep around.
Willing to let you lose custody for him.

...And you did.

Your poor boy.

Your son is now 6.

What age was he when you lost him?

Fuck me. There is no hope.
He was taking hard drugs, went to prison for abusing a child, is controlling and has been physically abusive towards you and you've lost your son because you want to be with him.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

He will kill you.

God help your son.

You know there are lots of options to get help. Call the police. Tell your mum. Speak to social worker.

(I'm not sure this is even real)

There are women fighting with everything they have to keep their kids safe and change their lives around free from domestic abuse. Living in refuges, being dragged through court.
You on the other hand aren't tied to this man through children and you have your own home he has no claim to. You have it so much easier. Yet still you are chucking what you ought to hold precious away for a lowlife scumbag who trust me doesn’t care about you one iota.

When SS find out he’s more or less moved in you will lose direct contact as you should. If that doesn’t wake you up nothing will.

OP, everyone on here is giving you great advice about what you should do. Please listen and act.

We know it's very hard for you but you can do this. You can be strong enough.

1. Tell your mum he's back living with you and you need her help to get rid of him. I bet she'll do everything in her power to get you away from him.

1. Call Women's Aid - 0330 333 7416 - even if just to talk about what's happened.

1. See your GP. Strangulation (even for a short time) can cause brain damage. Also, ask your GP for contraception which cannot be controlled by your partner.

You know the thing that winds me up the most is that there are wonderful people in the world, loving, kind, responsible who would love to have children and give them everything they have but who can't, and then there are scrotes like this who pop out kids for fun with no intention of caring for them really caring for them not wringing their hands and making excuses.

I feel sorry for your precious boy OP he deserves so much better, and I feel sorry for his dad, I bet he barely sleeps when he knows you have access.

It breaks my heart it really does.

I know I'm doing wrong and if it was easy I would walk right now I do want to I just can't deal with the upset and him loseing his head when I tell him I won't to end it.hes only just moved his stuff here I feel like a heartless cow but then what he has done is ten times over worse.

Ok then you stay with him. I'm sure he'll change and not strangle you to death any time soon.

@buttercup1001

When I meet him he was on heroin/ crack cocaine.hes been off heroin for 8-9 months he's on a injection he has every month to stop heroin withdrawal.he does go bk to crack now and again.on his hostel they take spice ( legal high) which he smokes but hasn't been since being here but soon as he goes bk to his hostel when he has appointments with his support workers he does relapse occasicially.

What the actual f**k?! Good to know he was released from prison and immediately went back on spice and crack cocaine whilst pretending to live at the hostel the taxpayers are funding.... you refuse to answer any questions about where either of you get your money or where he goes during the day whilst your son is at school?!!

I'll say it again. Neither of you should be anywhere near children.

I've told him I'm not ready for a baby with him theweedonkey.i fell pregnant in April and misscarried I told my partner and even then he had no remorse told me I had a abortion when I clearly never even tried telling him to call the hospital etc.anyway after that happened my mum made sure I went to gp to get contraception they gave me the pill option gave me the packet I can't even take them because he wants us to try again I have to put of sex during my ovulation say I'm not feeling well to prevent it.i cottage careful what I do or he will lose his temper I have to try and keep the peace be wise I can't handle to much stress it makes me ill

Surely if you have a baby with him then SS will take it away? Seeing as he went to jail for abusing a child and all.

What the actual f**k?! Good to know he was released from prison and immediately went back on spice and crack cocaine whilst pretending to live at the hostel the taxpayers are funding.... you refuse to answer any questions about where either of you get your money or where he goes during the day whilst your son is at school?! I don't take drugs I get income support and he gets alot more money than u do he gets UC ( universal credit which is £700 and he gets PIP ( SIck pay which is £400 he's on about £1100 a month where as I am only on £225 a month .he goes bk to his hostel when I have my son then comes bk here when my son goes bk to his dad.

You must realise though this can't go on. You need to make the decision to get rid. You can keep putting it off but the longer you do that the worse it's going to be. You're not going to wake up one morning and he's had a personality transplant into Prince charming.

You need to get it over with, rip the plaster off.

You don't even need to go through telling him it's over. Call the police, chuck his stuff out on the street, change the locks.

I was replying to velvet tried to copy and paste to reply

I'm on income support ...where as he is on UC and PIP he's on alot of money due to Ptsd

What I can’t understand is why on Earth you thought he was a suitable person to even begin a relationship with? A drug addict, an ex con? Someone with a trail of disastrous relationships? Kids he cannot see?

Why did you start anything with him?

Because he has ptsd it makes me feel sorry for him me Just slinging him out

You can’t deal with the upset and feeling like a heartless cow towards your abuser, so would rather stay with him and jeopardise your relationship with your child? You’re making some excellent choices, here.

OP, why are you posting here? Everyone is saying the exact same thing and you’re not willing to take it on board. What are you hoping to achieve with these updates?

So it'll be hard to leave. We get that.

The alternative is staying with someone who will definitely abuse you at best and will kill you at worst.

Why won't you call womens aid and ask for help? Or the police? Or your mum?

You've massively fucked up, repeatedly. But continuing to do so isn't helping you is it?

He's still a druggie. Still an abuser.

That is who he is. Why would he change when he strangles you and you still don't leave? Why would he change when he makes you lose custody of your son and you still don't leave?

He has no incentive to change.

Blows my mind he has more income from the state than I did when I very nearly died and couldn't work for a year a couple of years ago. Fuck me.

Now I'm absolutely breaking my back working full time and my taxes are paying for scum like him to spend on spice and have time to do fuck all but taking drugs and abusing women.

@buttercup1001

Because he has ptsd it makes me feel sorry for him me Just slinging him out

Imagine your son developing ptsd because his mum’s psychotic scumbag partner murdered her.

The person who needs you care and worry is a six year old child. YOUR child.

Please don't tell him you want to split up or that the relationship is over. That's when he'll be at his most dangerous.

Just get a friend, neighbour or family member to come round. Book a locksmith. Put his stuff on the doorstep and change the locks. Don't let him back in. If he kicks off, call the police.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Blows my mind he has more income from the state than I did when I very nearly died and couldn't work for a year a couple of years ago. Fuck me.

Now I'm absolutely breaking my back working full time and my taxes are paying for scum like him to spend on spice and have time to do fuck all but taking drugs and abusing women.

Quite extraordinary isn’t it.

'The person who needs you care and worry is a six year old child. YOUR child.'

If she isn't capable of putting him first then it is absolutely in his interest not to be in her care. OP won't put him first, so he is best off out of it.