Help

[buttercup1001]

Hi my partner of 2/3 years put his hands round my throat 3 weeks ago couldn't breathe for about 15 seconds and he let go.ive since had trouble/ pain in my throat and heartburn alot plus I have become forgettable can these symptoms be due to this or would the symptoms have dissapeared by now?

@buttercup1001

Sorry I am reading threw as much as I can as he's here .so time is limited I would pick my son over him 500% in his fire.its my low self esteem which keeps me hanging on to my partner I know I sound selfish but all his stuffs here it would be impossible to end it him moving his stuff out and it ending all happy I will have difficulty as my family don't support me being with him they speak to me etc I'm close to my mum but if I mention him she shuts me off as she doesn't agree.i am going to try and book a appointment tomorrow with gp as my son's bk in school so I will he doing the school run and my normal routine will be bk to normal as my partner goes when my son is here for school etc.

Then you need to pick your son over him now.

Every day you choose this man over your son is a day closer to not only losing your son for good, but to completely ruining your son's self esteem.

As pp have said if he gets you pregnant your baby will almost certainly be removed from you at birth. For him pregnancy is an act of complete control over you. It would be an incredibly dangerous situation for you to be in, he has already tried to strangle you.

Go into your local Boots and ask to speak to 'Ani' (Annie) - someone who is trained in domestic abuse can then help you to get away from your abuser.

You can do this @buttercup1001 , it won't be easy but the alternative will cost you your son and in all likelihood your life. This man will NEVER change.

Claire's law exists for a reason.

There is a very high chance he kill you or your son or both.

Your responsibility as a mother is to protect your son above all else.

Call women's aid. Leave today.

Please call women's aid for help with leaving this man.

ItS hard because his stuff is here i couldn't end it peacefully if he was here I would have to get someone to escort his stuff out of here with a third party because him on his own and me here it will cause trouble he will get angry .he told me lastnight after I bravely told him I don't deserve to be shouted at etc because of his mental state.he said ok I will start trusting Ng u but if I catch u it won't be pretty when I catch both of u .he's so insecure I'm trying to fit everything in as he's downstairs.he basically here 24/7.

I'm feeling happy I am seeing my son tomorrow and getting bk to the school routine.as the summer holidays I've been stuck with my partner.im looking forward to everyday mornnig and evening access with my son.

If he's with you 24/7 you will be putting your son in danger by seeing him in your house. You need to make a choice him or your son.

The police can escort him out, they already know what hes like and how dangerous he is. Have you sought medical attention for the injuries he has caused you yet?

There you go again 'me and my partner getting help . It's you that needs help everyone on here is giving you good advice and then you tell us worse things about this man and you continue getting more advice on how to leave him .What is wrong with you ,are we wasting our time and energy trying to get it into that head of yours that he is a bad apple .Let today be the day that you open your eyes wide and see him for what he is , you have a mother who I am sure would help you get away from him ,come on do this for you .

He's got a counciling appointment today so I can chat more freely instead of rushing things quickly when he's out the room.my son is bk in school tomorrow so I will be going bk to the routine of ( partner) going for few hours well I take son to school then he comes bk here in the day until 3pm when I pick my son up then he goes when I pick my son up until his dad finishes work which is 5pm.lastnight he said he may as well give hostel up and because I said no let's leave it liek this he went mad and said why are u planning to leave me I gotta be careful what I say to him as he has ptsd and goes off on one of I say the somethin wrong or something he doesn agree with.im going to try book appointment with go tomorrow when I come bk from school run.

I worry because my mental health isn't great I will have a breakdown of some kind once I end it with him.this is y I find it so hard i see it as I see my son for school etc so I have not lost all contact and I got my partner etc

Trying to juggle it all out and hoping it will all work out with him getting help but I see where everyone on here is coming from he's had time to change since he was 21 and hasn't he's repeatly done it since with previous partners.his first child he had when he was 21 his exes daughter was hitting his son in the cot and he slapped her legs and caused bruising and he went to prison for 17months this is y he isn't allowed roudn children all his partners have to be safeguarded if they have kids that's u the police gave me the Claire's law.i know it's wrong as I've told him before it's worng but he justifys everything and makes out he had reason for it.he told me he was 21 he saw red etc

@buttercup1001

ItS hard because his stuff is here i couldn't end it peacefully if he was here I would have to get someone to escort his stuff out of here with a third party because him on his own and me here it will cause trouble he will get angry .he told me lastnight after I bravely told him I don't deserve to be shouted at etc because of his mental state.he said ok I will start trusting Ng u but if I catch u it won't be pretty when I catch both of u .he's so insecure I'm trying to fit everything in as he's downstairs.he basically here 24/7.

This is why you need to report the assault, so the police can come to your address and escort him off the premises. You need to involve them in order to get him out and get a restraining order, or at least conditions he can't contact you until they decide whether to charge him or not. I'm assuming he's breaking his probation conditions by committing an assault anyway so they might arrest him right away anyway.

So why won't you call them?

What he does is his responsibility- you can't change him or fix him. He is a danger to you and to children; if you did have his baby what does he think social services will do?
Call the police, report him. Tell them everything.

@buttercup1001

Trying to juggle it all out and hoping it will all work out with him getting help but I see where everyone on here is coming from he's had time to change since he was 21 and hasn't he's repeatly done it since with previous partners.his first child he had when he was 21 his exes daughter was hitting his son in the cot and he slapped her legs and caused bruising and he went to prison for 17months this is y he isn't allowed roudn children all his partners have to be safeguarded if they have kids that's u the police gave me the Claire's law.i know it's wrong as I've told him before it's worng but he justifys everything and makes out he had reason for it.he told me he was 21 he saw red etc

He didn't get 17 months jail time for slapping legs. Bullshit.

He's a cunt. He bullies women and children because they are smaller than him and scared of him.

He's pathetic.

You still want to be with him, that's what it comes down to. Despite knowing everything he's done to you and others, if he said today that he was breaking up with you I think instead of feeling relieved you'd beg him not to break up with you.

So he physically abused his own daughter in the past?!!

I have no words.

Do either of you work? What/where are you planning to do all day between school runs, shoot up in your kitchen?!

This is one of the most abhorrent situations I have ever seen on here. This creature is a convicted child abuser!! Neither of you deserve children.

Does he still use drugs? I'm assuming he's a weed fan, hence the heightened paranoia?

So his stuff will be in your home (how are you planning on explaining that to your son when he visits) and it will probably reek of weed too...

Jesus christ, you're making excuses for his abuse on a small child. He hasn't slapped her legs and caused bruising , he's violently assaulted this child that's why he went to prison!
Stop believing his excuses, you honestly need to wake up .
If your willing to believe all his bullshit over the police and social services there's nothing anyone can do or say to help you.

I can talk now for few hours he's gone to his appointment.tryibg to read threw and answer much as I can to what ppl have put.it was his exes daughter wasn't his daughter she apparently was hitting his newborn son that's his excuse for doing it and I don't agree with it all no matter how much he sugarcoats it.he tells me why has his ex had another chance at being a mum ( that's his ex who was on heroin with him and they lost there son together she now has a little girl with new partner.he feels if she has had a chance why can't he but after him strangling me only 4 weeks ago I don't see he has changed he seems to ignore all that and just says he's changed and that he's different than he was years ago he's calmed down alot etc.i gotta be careful what I say to him as he flies off the handle.i don't see the social agreeing to him being here with my son I do no that won't happen but I can't tell him as he will go off on one.i just always try and see the positive thinking it mite work out of he gets the help etc but social services told me under the circumstances is he allowed around children.3 women have lost there children due to him and he tells me I'm diffrent as I don't do drugs or drink were as his other exes all had Substance abuse issues.i am so torn I can't talk to my mum as she goes mad and would go mad if I said I'm with him she is there for me and we talk daily but she doesn't no I'm with him still so it will not go down well.

When I meet him he was on heroin/ crack cocaine.hes been off heroin for 8-9 months he's on a injection he has every month to stop heroin withdrawal.he does go bk to crack now and again.on his hostel they take spice ( legal high) which he smokes but hasn't been since being here but soon as he goes bk to his hostel when he has appointments with his support workers he does relapse occasicially.

Do you want to be free of him or not?

And don't say 'if he changes blah blah blah'

Assuming he doesn't change, would you rather stay with him or leave him?

THERE IS NO POSITIVE.

Nine whatsoever.

This man WILL kill you.

He come off probation last year due to good behaviour so he's not on probation no more.i don't report his abuse anymore due to the reports going straight to the social services I know that's wrong of me .but if I did report what he has done then he wouldn't of been of probaation by now.

If he told you today he wanted to come get his stuff and break up, would you be relieved or would you beg him not to break up?

It sounds like you're quite content being a part time Mum.

youvegottenminuteslynn .I do want to be but I know it's going to be so hard he's moved his stuff here etc I'm not making excuses for his actions as I know everything he has done is completly wrong and dispicable but he got abused as child etc and now has ptsd and because I've been with him 3 yrs I've seen his sensitive side but he blames his abuse on the way he's turned out.it will be so much stres me ended it with him I know it will he won't leave peacefully and for me to get him removed it will involve authorities like police etc then I get a file threw to the social and then I get more stress from them etc.

Sorry I meant I do not want to be in relationship but the half love I have for him and me feeling sorry for him is making me stay .