Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

Why would anyone even wait to be given their half of the bill or told it was being split? The bill arrives. Both people get wallets put to pay what they owe. Easy.

Yes. I would expect him to pay for me and if he didn’t it would tell me the relationship was a no-go as he isn’t a fan of traditional values.

In my eyes if he suggests just a walk for a first date, that's a big sign that he's a tightwad.

I dunno… a walk through Peckham High Street, yes. But if he’d gone to the trouble of thinking of somewhere scenic with a nice view/trail/whatever else demonstrated some thought and effort, I would be delighted I think. If the dates stayed in “things to do for free” territory at some point I’d start to question it unless he’d mentioned money issues, but not at the off.

I would always expect to pay my share!

Are people who want to be ‘treated’ by a man on the first date seriously expecting that anyone female on the dating scene should get a free night out with any new date, but the men should always pay? So much for equality!

What about gay couples!?

To those who think the man should pay and they shouldn’t have to…would you pay for everything on the second date? Third?

Paying for meals is manly? Generosity is a great trait for men and women. Why should the man on a date be the generous one

When the waiter comes over with the bill, of course it's more manly if he just picks it up and says he'll deal with it, and paying it discreetly rather than studying the bill intently and saying "right, it's £52.75 so shall we say £26.50 each". Then the waiter rocks up and passes the card machine to both of you. Then you both scrabble around for a few quid in coins to leave for a tip. Wow, so romantic!

@seaandsandcastles

Yes. I would expect him to pay for me and if he didn’t it would tell me the relationship was a no-go as he isn’t a fan of traditional values.

Yes, better to make sure he’s the kind of man who likes to be in control of the finances. 🙄

No it wouldn’t at all, it would be my expectation that we split. As for @Boatonthehorizon’s costs… I don’t think it’s ever cost me anything to get ready for a date! I wear clothes I already own, file my own nails and hair? I don’t have much, I’ve got a buzz cut. Much cheaper.

Also, I earn over 10k more than the man I’m currently dating, should I be paying for him by some people’s logic?

@NannyAndJohn

I've been with DH for 30 years so it's a good while since I've been on a date, but if they didn't offer to pay then I never saw them again.

No one likes a cheapskate.

No one likes a money grubbing parasite either.

I'd expect to split the bill.

@Howshouldibehave

I would always expect to pay my share!

Are people who want to be ‘treated’ by a man on the first date seriously expecting that anyone female on the dating scene should get a free night out with any new date, but the men should always pay? So much for equality!

What about gay couples!?

To those who think the man should pay and they shouldn’t have to…would you pay for everything on the second date? Third?

Lesbians both eat for free as there is no manly man to pay for them. Gay men each have to pay the full bill. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do and will make sure other’s in the restaurant know they know their place.

@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

No, I would expect to split the bill

@Comedycook

Paying for meals is manly? Generosity is a great trait for men and women. Why should the man on a date be the generous one

When the waiter comes over with the bill, of course it's more manly if he just picks it up and says he'll deal with it, and paying it discreetly rather than studying the bill intently and saying "right, it's £52.75 so shall we say £26.50 each". Then the waiter rocks up and passes the card machine to both of you. Then you both scrabble around for a few quid in coins to leave for a tip. Wow, so romantic!

How on earth is that “manly” unless he’s doing this while also drawing attention to the fact he has a penis? It’s usually me who studies the receipt and suggests a fair split. I’d rather that than be grabby and entitled.

*others

@Comedycook

Paying for meals is manly? Generosity is a great trait for men and women. Why should the man on a date be the generous one

When the waiter comes over with the bill, of course it's more manly if he just picks it up and says he'll deal with it, and paying it discreetly rather than studying the bill intently and saying "right, it's £52.75 so shall we say £26.50 each". Then the waiter rocks up and passes the card machine to both of you. Then you both scrabble around for a few quid in coins to leave for a tip. Wow, so romantic!

It’s not unmanly to split the bill. Attitudes like that are so outdated.
If you’re expecting to split it (and not just be paid for because you don’t have a penis) there’s absolutely no issue with paying at the end ruining a romantic evening. It’s much better than an argument with some manly man who doesn’t want to respect my wish to split the bill so he can prove how manly he is.

If I want to see him again I wouldn't mind if he paid.

If I don't want to see him again I would want to pay my half and would insist on it.

When the waiter comes over with the bill, of course it's more manly if he just picks it up and says he'll deal with it.

For equations where ‘manly’ equals ‘neanderthal, knuckle dragger who “treats his woman like a pwincess” but with notions of equality in a relationship stranded somewhere in the 1950s or romantic juvenile fiction’, sure.

I’ve updated my notions of what constitutes attractive manliness since I first read Sweet Valley High, though.

@seaandsandcastles

Yes. I would expect him to pay for me and if he didn’t it would tell me the relationship was a no-go as he isn’t a fan of traditional values.

Good grief, no wonder Men get confused sometimes about how they’re meant to behave!

@Comedycook

Paying for meals is manly? Generosity is a great trait for men and women. Why should the man on a date be the generous one

When the waiter comes over with the bill, of course it's more manly if he just picks it up and says he'll deal with it, and paying it discreetly rather than studying the bill intently and saying "right, it's £52.75 so shall we say £26.50 each". Then the waiter rocks up and passes the card machine to both of you. Then you both scrabble around for a few quid in coins to leave for a tip. Wow, so romantic!

Of course it’s many?! Why ‘of course’?

What bollocks! Both people on a date can get their wallets out, expecting to pay half. Once dating, you can take turns, sure. “I’ll get the next one” - to be uttered by a man or a woman.

If a man had asked me on a date, I would expect him to pay, yes. It would definitely put me off he asked me to split it. Apart from the fact that it's good manners for the person who asked the other out to cover the bill, in my experience men that are really into you would want to treat you, impress you etc. Anything else would signal to me that they weren't really interested.

This thread is a total eye opener on why some women end up in disastrously unequal relationships unable to figure out how they ended up in a cycle of drudgery.

If I didn't want to see him again I would pay half.
If we had a great time and I wanted to see him again, then I would see it as a sign of generosity that he wanted to buy me dinner, I would assume he was very interested. The following dinner I would pay.

I don't like cheap men, and I would not find it very attractive if he sat there working out how much was owed. No thank you. I would run for the hills.

[quote Boatonthehorizon]@CoffeeTopUp
Haircut / colour £90
Nails £25
Eyebrows £10
Dress £50
Shoes £30
New tights £5

£210 and thats doing it cheaply. Expense is one of the reasons I dont bother any more.[/quote]
I wouldn't spend any money doing any of that for a first date. I'd do my own hair and make up and wear something I already own

If he 'expected' me to pay half I'd be put off. I'd want him to offer to pay for it all. I would offer to pay at least half. He would say 'no, no I insist' or similar. Otherwise I'd thing he was stingy.

@Poppins88

If a man had asked me on a date, I would expect him to pay, yes. It would definitely put me off he asked me to split it. Apart from the fact that it's good manners for the person who asked the other out to cover the bill, in my experience men that are really into you would want to treat you, impress you etc. Anything else would signal to me that they weren't really interested.

Yikes! A man isn’t interested unless he pays money for your company? Bit creepy. It isn’t good manners for the person who asked to pay, it’s outdated. I bet most who think it’s good manners also think it should be the man who asks the woman out.

Apart from the dress, I didn’t spend that on my wedding!

Wrong thread